Magpie Syndrome
by Clayem
Summary: Kylo Ren has many obsessions. But he would have never guessed that his attraction to shiny things would land him in such a mess. [AU-ish for inaccurate movie lines. Reylo. Hints of Stormpilot. M is for Mature jokes!]
1. Prologue

If anyone would ask Kylo Ren what was the main advantage of having a mask and that he miraculously felt inclined about answering that question, he would say that he could look wherever he wanted and that no one would ever guess. Not that he was the voyeur type, far from it. There weren't many cleavages to stare down on Starkiller anyway. All the best, now that it was mentioned. The feared successor of Darth Vader didn't need any petty female distraction. He was Sith, the incarnation of evil. He had been seduced by the most powerful mermaid of all: the pull of the Dark Side. The mere idea of him falling for a woman's charms was laughable!

No, what he meant by never being spotted while staring had more to do with shiny objects.

He couldn't explain it. Show him something that sent back light and he was hypnotized. He liked standing in the middle of the command room of Starkiller because of all the little blinking lights everywhere, even if that annoyed the hell out of general Hux. (Officially, Kylo wasn't supposed to stay on the deck _all_ the time. The commandment of Starkiller had been assigned to General Hux alone and the Sith was only supposed to supervise the general functioning. Which he could do by simply reading the reports, but instead he has to see everything for himself and act as if he was the general himself. Which was very, very annoying.)

He could stay hours staring at the starry night, even if the first wandering idiot that would catch him looking dreamingly at the stars would die a rather painful death. He hated having grease stains on his lightsaber, which was the reason why it was highly recommended for stormtroopers to handle it with gloves under all circumstances should they enter in contact with it (the source for this information it _The Unofficial Guide To Not Being Slaughtered_ _(_ _Stormtrooper_ _Edition)_ , By Captain Phasma). And last but not least, he had even sacrificed his own mask to his secret obsession, leaving behind the all black look of his grandfather and adding shiny decoration around the eyes. Snoke, upon discovering the design of his apprentice's new appearance, back in the days where he was still all fresh under the Dark Force's shadowy wing, had disagreed with it, but since the helmet had already been fully crafted he had let it pass.

Kylo Ren himself had no idea why he was so fascinated with small twinkling things. He had secretly researched the matter, one night as he snuck out to the Great Starkiller Archives, only to discover that humans weren't close relatives to cats. That had worried and reassured him at the same time. Worried because that left him with the question he had hoped to answer still hanging, and reassured because he really wasn't a cat person (as a matter of fact, he liked goldfishes most, obviously because they had shiny scales, but it turned out – to his greatest deception about life so far – that humans shared even less genes with goldfishes then with cats).

But generally, he didn't worry about it. In fact, he had far more important things to obsess about, such as how to get rid of that stupid helmet hair (his grandfather, being bald, had never had this problem as he was staring in the mirror every evening before going to sleep, so he was considering shaving), how to fit more training hours in his day without bypassing the obligatory amount of sleep hours (seven) Snoke had imposed him upon discovering how maniac he could get over unperfected fight moves or how to lure Hux into lending him more Stormtroopers for mind manipulation practice.

The only time it truly bothered him was on meetings. Hux had that subordinate who handed him the papers and that generally carried all his reports around (kind of like some walking file holder, only with a mind of it's own, even if one would hesitate before calling any subordinate of Hux a sentient being). The guy was quite young for being so highly ranked. Kylo Ren guessed that he was from some First Order's influent family, or even the bastard son of an important mind: they usually gave the younger products of unwanted nights of passion to the army, as some sort of tribute of their devotion to the almost-religious veneration in which they held their leaders.

Well, that boy, as Kylo called him in his mind (even if the officer was older then him, a fact that he preferred to ignore), had recently married. And in order to let the whole world know, he had made himself two rings. One he wore casually, one his hand, when he was off duty. And one, specially large and _shiny_ , that he wore _over_ his uniform glove. Oh yes, his wife was a glorious woman, but she had no idea how that glory was heightening the chances of her husband having his hand (or head) cut off the day Kylo would throw one of his legendary tantrums at a meeting.

So here was that truly clueless man, waving his large fake diamond ring all over the table as he gathered the files that randomly flew around (if mess was an art, Hux would be an artist) as Kylo tried, really tried, with all his black little (presumably empty and dead) heart, to follow what was happening around him. But he couldn't. Because of blowjobs.

And that's how he had earned himself a reputation of being a man of few words.

No one had noticed it, or so he had thought, until his twenty second birthday, where an anonymous person had left a small package in front of his door. A card had been left on it, who contain the exact following words: 'For the moments of emptiness. P.'. In it was a simple stone. A _shiny_ stone.

Kylo had never discovered who the mysterious observer was, nor how he (or she) had discovered his fascination and his actual date of birth. But he had kept the stone. It had been his best birthday present since he had joined the Dark Side. His only birthday present, yes, but it didn't mean that he didn't like it. He kept it as a decoration in his room.

Apart from all this, he had never truly worried about this specific obsession. Not until a certain incident that changed everything.

ooo

 **Yo ho ho! Merry christmas, everyone! I am not christian and I don't particularly like coca cola but I still celebrate because free presents. (I like giving too! That's why I write fanfiction! For freeeeeeeee!)**

 **Anyway, I am going to make a very long author's note. But hey, if you stick with me, I promise it will be fun. These are a few things I wanted to share with you.**

 **First… Don't ask me where doest the idea for this fanfiction came from. I don't know. It was some divine intervention. I literally woke up a few days ago and thought 'Kylo. Shiny things. Yup.' And here I am.**

 **So this will be a romaaaance because yay, awesome characters _belong_ with each other. But I don't want to make it the core of my story here. I want to have mess around with Ben Solo. Which is why it is in humor. I am relatively good in making people laugh with my writing, but I have a pretty farfetched humor so some jokes might be a little to complicated. If you stumble upon any, please send me a word and I will try to make it a little more understandable. And if you are really too dumb, I will explain the joke directly to you. Home service. **

**I won't usually go down that Dark Path, but I they may also be a few tries at dark and crass humor. Nothing too dark or dirty, and not all the time, but they might be there. And while I'm warning you, I'll also throw in a 'be careful coz future mature scenes' because if I am getting there without a writer's block there is got to be some sort of reward for me (and for the people reading me that enjoy these things too). And yes, they will be numerous sex jokes too.**

 **Fun part! I have made a few research on Kylo because I am a crazy stalker.**

 **1\. He looks like Snape. My sister and me both agrees on that.**

 **2\. His name was originally Ben Solo, but upon being seduced by the Dark Side, he took the name Kylo Ren. Ren because he is now part of the order of the Knights of Ren, but Kylo? Let me blow you mind: S _ky_ walker, So _lo_. Yes. Yes! He is meant to be a good guy! His _name_ say so!**

 **3\. His age, according to Woopiepedia, is thirty, since he is born about one year after the battle of Endor (boy – literally -, Leila and Han couldn't wait to get to a world with condoms!)**

 **(Sorry… Sorry, I take it back. Some jokes aren't meant to be said aloud.)**

 **Upon discovering this, I was shocked to the bone. Thirty? _Thirty_? And he hasn't completed his training yet? But he looks… so young… in the way he acts… Come on. His tantrums are way to childish (hilarious) for him to be thirty. Right? Since internet wasn't going to tell me what I wanted, I decided to cheat. I was going to use the actor's age… who turned out to be thirty-two. (Since the 18th of November.) **

**Death hanging upon my soul, I have decided to pair my new most favorite villain with someone else… Captain Phasma looked mature enough… when my resolve as a fanfiction writer overtook me. No! I shall not succumb! Han and Leia thrived and feed their souls with chaste kisses and pure love, making their beloved Ben… Twenty-eight. Hum.**

 **So I have summoned, from the deepest depth of the galaxy, where I have banished it… my angsty writing vibe. One miscarriage and four years of Hurt/Comfort later, Leia agrees to get over the loss of little Danielle and decides to try a second time. And, because babies don't always come easy and because Han had drunk a lot of bottled water*, I can happily add two more years of wait until little Ben is screaming and kicking into the world. And tadaaa! Twenty-two! Doesn't that want to make you do a happy dance?**

 **No?**

 **Okay, I will end my author's not here. I promise that next time there will be a longer chapter and less _blabla_. **

***Bottled water has been proven to be a major factor of a decline in male fertility. (I _told_ you I was also into dark humor.)**


	2. A Coffee And A Rebel

**(Warning: Major The Force Awakens spoiler in this chapter! I know that it's already pretty obvious that they will be some in this story since it was written Reylo in the summary, but some of you out there have (still) only seen the trailers. If you want to keep the surprise for the film, bookmark this page and come read it after!)**

One could say that it was in Kylo's nature to be a bully.

It wasn't related to the fact that he stood on the dark side of the Force. He had been born this way. When his parents, one being an important and busy general and the other a smuggler who was always eager to lend a hand around the Resistance, had put him in kindergarten, he had been the kid who's game was to steal the other brats' toys. It had even been when poor Charlie's Quack Quack had flown across the room and directly into his hands that the world had discovered that he was Force sensitive (Leia had, once upon a time, expected him to take her succession, so hadn't put him up to the tests).

He had been part of the third generation of padawan to gather under Luke Skywalker's teaching. His parents had been so proud to see their little baby boy set off on his first day of training that there had been a lot of hair ruffling (at the time, Ben's hair had been kept short; it was either that, or Leia's unforgivable skills at brushing) and advice giving on the way to the Jedi Academy. What they never knew and never expected was that, on his very first day, Ben had nicknamed his comrade Charlie Squeaky, based on the sound the little boy made when the younger member of the Solo family had smacked his training stick on his head.

Out of consideration for his own sister's feelings, Luke had kept the matter between the walls of his sanctuary and had never called his parents to tell them about their son taking a nasty pleasure in making smaller boys and girls afraid of him. Instead, he had taken his nephew for a walk on the beach and had lectured him about how unfair it was to bully weaker children, especially since he was so powerful in the ways of the Force. Ben wasn't the prettiest of kids or the most patient, but he was smart, and soon understood Luke's point despite his age.

So he started bullying older ones instead.

At first, that didn't turn out too good, since it was a five year old taking on ten years old. They had been many bruises and Leia had more then once complained about 'her poor baby Ben being attacked by nasty kids under _your_ watch, Luke Skywalker' with a nodding Han by her side. This initial bad luck had forced the little black haired kid to get more slick and sneaky then his comrades. Soon enough, Leia had shut up, but other parents had come by to talk about snakes being stolen and a few shiny objects to mysteriously vanish.

So Luke had started make his own investigations, and discovered something that would (mentally, of course, he was to dignified to do this for real) make him fall on his heroic bottom: most of the presumably stolen possessions had actually been given, sometimes in front of several witnesses, to little Solo. Who had gladly kept them, of course. Upon a little mental pressuring of the kid (an act that was frowned upon by society but necessary here in order to get to the bottom of the truth), it had been discovered that Ben Solo's true talent wasn't sword fight, future prediction or even cooking, but mind manipulation and reading.

Once again, there was long walk on the beach with the sun setting and Luke talking to his nephew, but this time about the Dark and the Light Side of the Force. He usually saved this subject for his older students but little Solo seemed to need to hear about it urgently in the light of recent events. To the only teacher's relief, all strange incidents stopped and things returned to what they should be around the Jedi Academy soon afterwards.

Well, that is, until there was no Jedi Academy anymore, but that was a subject that brought heat to the Sith cheeks and pretty embarrassing memories that he didn't like to dwell on. Once that had been done with, he had happily returned to the joys of tormenting his lesser peers of the First Order, since there wasn't anybody to take him on stupid long walks on the beach that filled his shoes with sand.

"Here is you drink," quietly said the droid upon laying it on the seat next to him, before hurrying out. The cup was filled with a dark, smoking liquid. The Sith didn't acknowledge its existence – for now.

"Preparing for take off," said one of the pilots. He also ignored that, appearing to be lost in thoughts.

A few stormtroopers from his personal escorts, who were standing behind him, were eyeing the cup of liquid that rested by his side with worry. It was a well known fact that the Sith always isolated himself in his quarters to eat and always when to drink hiding in the bathroom so that no one would see what was beneath his mask. Despite of that, everyone knew that his upbringing had taught him that water was the healthiest drink of all and he sticked to this principle like his life depended on it.

There was that rumor that went around among the soldier about a zealous doctor who had noticed that the master of the Knights of Ren was doing a lot (or rather too much) exercise. Foolishly hoping for a promotion, he had spiced up his morning drink of water (that was always served to his room a little before his programmed alarm clock turned on) with vitamins that would soon transform Kylo Ren in a bulky monster.

Kylo had never drunk it. Instead, he had called the doctor to his room (once fully dressed and masked, since his morning hair was even worse then his helmet hair), and, using the Force, had shoved the full content of the glass up the poor man's nose, choking him. And as his victim laid on the ground, passed out from lack of air, the ruthless Sith had ordered the droid that had come along to register in the central Starkiller Database that this doctor had been fired.

All that to say that he was pretty hardcore when it came to anything liquid going down his throat, which meant that the smoking cup of not-water was there for an entirely different reason then what one would initially think. And the poor Stormtoopers had seen enough of their fearsome superior to get pretty afraid of what was about to follow.

Kylo's command shuttle left the Finalizer among with several smaller troop carriers, and they started their descent towards Jakku's surface. A few minutes later, they landed on the desert planet's surface, near a small village that wouldn't have been of any importance without a certain scout living there and his pricey information. Stormtroopers rushed out of the carriers into the night, creating a movement of panic among the peaceful villagers at the sudden attack. This operation was expected to be successful with very little resistance and no losses.

Despite the ship landing practically at the same time then them, Kylo didn't budge from his seat, apparently still lost in thoughts. In the faintly lit interior of his personal vessel, he looked more massive then he was, a shadow wondering what evil deeds he could accomplish.

He rose. Slowly, he picked the cup of smoking not-water and walked towards the command board at the front, his heavy boots clinking dramatically against the metal ground. His hidden expression was unreadable. Realizing the graveness of the moment, a few soldiers of his escort scooted back in fear, trying to press themselves to the back of the ship without attracting any attention. The two pilots threw each other worried glance as they felt the overpowering aura growing more and more menacing behind them. None of them dared to look back, move or speak. One of them was even holding his breath to the point of turning a little red with the effort. If their eyes could talk, they would have been saying to each other something among the lines of 'it has been a great last flight with you, partner'.

Kylo paused and everyone stopped breathing. They all knew that at least one of the loyal pilots were doomed, if not both, and they thought that the Sith was choosing his victim with a sadistic pleasure…

He was in fact staring at the little blinking lights that signaled the position of various buttons and fighting the urge to press them, but no one could guess that. That was the reason why he didn't drive his own ship, and probably never would.

After a full sixty seconds of inner struggle and after vanquishing once more one of his most crucial inner dilemma (to press, of not to press – that is the question), Kylo Ren, formerly Ben Solo, head of the Knights of Ren, Warlord of the First Order, Sith of the Dark Side, Apprentice to Snoke and Successor of Darth Vader, rose his cup and tipped it until a long snake of not-water rushed downwards and precisely into the collar of the pilot who had been holding his breath. The latter turned even more red as her tried to repress a cry of true fear as what he presumed was acid exacted from the pits of Hell was running down his back.

And he was right.

It was hot coffee without sugar or milk.

His companion, upon seeing the horror in front of his eyes, tried to suppress a terrified laugh. Stormtroopers backed up until their backs were touching the walls or other Stormtroopers. The only one that seemed unfazed by the action of Kylo was the man himself, and that was because he wore a mask.

He shook the cup once to make the last drop fall, and casually laid it on the armrest of the pilot's seat. In the dead silence of the ship, his whisper boomed like thunder.

"That was for making a coffee stain on my chair."

The second pilot chuckled nervously. Kylo snapped his head to him, making him swallow back his laugh so hard he almost peed himself. He glared his insubordinate to death (while fighting the urge to let his eyes trail back to the shiny control panel in front of him), before swirling around and walking away. Seeing this, a Stormtrooper gathered enough courage to reach for the control panel and open the door to the ship, before his escort walked out with him.

He arrived in the open air to see a sight that made his dark little (presumably dead and empty) heart soar: a burning village and its peaceful inhabitants running around in sheer panic. A small smile appeared on the side of his face without anybody knowing. To him, the quest of a lifetime was slowly coming to an end.

What he didn't see, however, only proved how truly evil and twisted he was. Back in the ship, the pilot unglued his lips to draw in a shaky breath, before turning to his companion and confessing:

"But… I don't drink coffee..."

It was indeed in Kylo's nature to be a bully. Being truly evil didn't appear in great destruction, but in everyday acts. It was an art of life that was made of small mad touches, and Kylo was, like his grandfather, among the darkest hearts of the galaxy.

Or so he had thought until a certain incident that changed everything he thought he knew about himself. An incident that was starting with the event of tonight. Unknown to him, the clockwork of destiny was starting to turn, rewinding the moment where he would be catapulted into a tornado of emotions.

A man was brought in front of him. A man without the information he wanted; a dead man indeed, killed by his own hands seconds after. A move one would call reckless, but he had done so because he could sense another man hiding in the shadows.

The rebel did, as predicted, jump out right on cue and had shoot him. It was a desperate soul pulling his last move; a man ready to die. All this and a little more, Kylo sensed it in a fraction of seconds, before he raised his hand and stopped the blaster shot and the man in one swoop. He could have had immobilized him as he was about to press on the trigger, but the pulsing beam of energy that crackled in mid-air as a furious entity that desperately wanted to kill the Sith wouldn't have had the same effect.

Stormtroopers rushed to capture the rebel who's name, Kylo already knew, was Poe Dameron, not that it was of any importance. The man didn't understand yet what was happening, why his muscles had creased to obey him and why the beam the once had taken for granted had failed him by staying still, a blue arrow who's furious energy was slowly fading into the cool desert night's air. The successor of Darth Vader made mental notes on the general layout of his new prey's mind as it was open a vulnerable, in order to direct himself properly around it once pressuring him later in the interrogation room.

The soldiers forced the man to kneel in front of their lord, and the rebel stared up in the eyes of the monster. Kylo was the first one to speak between the two.

"Where is the map?"

"You will never have it," spat the man. His thoughts flittered back to his sabotaged ship before Kylo lost track of them for a moment as he hid himself in more secret thoughts, but now the Sith knew that his prey was a pilot.

He disliked pilots. They could do something he couldn't – and he had always disliked people who could do something that he couldn't.

A flicker of fingers resulted in Poe being taken away roughly, like filth of his kind should, and embarked on his ship. Before he could follow, a Stormtrooper came to him with fear in his heart after the recent demonstration of the power of the Dark Side but also with a purpose.

"What about the villagers, my Lord?"

The latter stood on their knees, surrounded by soldiers, afraid and for the most part hurt, as their possessions burned around them. Many of them already laid on the ground, dead or on their way there. The choice seemed to have already been made for him, they just needed his consent because Stormtroopers were fleshy machines: someone had to press on their trigger (except when it came to illegal mating: the amount of forced abortions only seemed to raise every month).

"I have no use for them," was the only reply. He walked away, uninterested, as they performed what they were made for. Kylo Ren had seen countless people dying, the first ones being at his own hands. After a while, watching other doing it lost it's thrill. He couldn't feel empathy anyway. What was the point in looking at others killing if he couldn't even feel a little exited for them?

The only thing he was looking forward too right now was a drink of hot water (who would have guessed that nights in the desert were so cold?), mentally torturing that pilot until he spat the info he needed, and a good night's sleep (even if he could tell, by the look of the situation, that it wasn't going to be before twelve hours at least).

That's when he felt a gaze on him that was more then simple curiosity but less then hostility. He stopped and looked in its direction, intrigued and slightly annoyed.

It was one of the Stormtroopers that had been assigned to kill the innocents. He stood there, watching him, his gun pointed to the ground and not helping his comrades. In him, Kylo could feel a few shimmers of something that vaguely called to him, but the impression was so faint and so clouded by the mixed feelings of the soldier that he ignored it. He only noted the name he read in that mind – FN-2187, nicknamed Eight Seven by friends – and carried on, the anger of having been so close to the final piece of information and still missing it starting to nibble at the edge of his mood.

ooo

 **Wow, I never expected the prologue to make such a good impression! I was so happy when I saw that this morning that when I had to come out of my room I walked straight into the door (something that happens to me more often then I would want to admit) and didn't even hear the pain over how awesome you made me feel!**

 **I have only seen the film once, and that was four days ago, so my memory is rather shaky about the canon lines. I tried to search for the script, but soon abandoned my quest because, if there was such a thing at the disposal of the public now, many people wouldn't go to see the movie and that would make them lose a ton of money. So it is in their best interest to not make the official script public just yet, but… I still wish they would give us the script when we come out of the cinema… I don't care if I have to pay double the price, I want to have it, I want it I want it I want it! (Spoiled after Christmas, much?)**

 **But I did find out that the script for all the other Star War moves are online (and probably for many other films as well). If you are writing a fanfiction on them, I would highly advise you to go look. It's more practical then pausing, rewinding and listening in order to the exact phrasing of the original movie (just like I didn't do for this chapter, since I _don't_ have the movie or the script at my disposal!). **

**Anyway, see you next time. I hope?**


	3. Getting Down And Dirty

Rey was about to indulge in her evening pleasure.

No, not _that_ type of pleasure, get your mind out of the gutter. There wasn't anything worth of fantasizing about on Jakku (not that she didn't look). Who needed a crush in the first place? Not Rey. Un-hun. Rey was a strong, independent woman, she didn't need any pretty boy (or girl) to fantasize about. Right?

And last time she had tried _that_ (as she named it in her mind), she had fallen asleep _in the middle_ of it. That was the proof that a scavenger life and a sexual one just didn't get along: one was too tiring for the other.

But anyway, that wasn't her evening pleasure in the first place, so there is no point in discussing that matter any further. It shall stay where it rightfully belongs, and that wasn't under Rey's sheets but scrambled into a tight ball and buried outside her house.

She took out an old music player from under her pillow, something she had miraculously saved from an intergalactic ship that had fallen on the sand, and carefully set it on her night table. She had spent a fortune in rations to keep it running, saving precious parts that had cost hours of her time in scavenging from the greedy hands of Unkar Plutt to repair it when it was broken.

It was the complete premium song collection of _Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes_ , her favorite music group of all time (in facts, the only music group she knew, but that didn't mean she didn't love them), with speakers included so that she could listen to it anywhere she went. Not that she went anywhere with it, Plutt wasn't the only greedy person that walked under the harsh sun of Jakku, but still, it was exciting to know that she could _take_ _it_ with her. Wouldn't it blow anyone's mind?

As one could guess, there weren't many subjects of excitements in Rey's life.

She turned it on, and it started where she had left it: in the middle of _Crazy About Me_. It wasn't her favorite song and it didn't even have the singer's exotic voice on the record, but she left it, closing her eyes and humming along the jazzy tune.

One day, her family was going to come back for her, and she hoped that they would offer her a poster of the _Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes_ to hang on wall of her room.

Now _that_ was an exciting perspective.

BB-8, who was idly sitting in a corner after being rescued, perked up at the music and timidly rolled closer. He listened to the beat and the saxophones for a little, and started purring softly at it. The tune had BB-8 seal of special approval.

ooo

Meanwhile, high in the subathmosphere of Jakku, the person most worthy of being fantasized about in a radius of a lightyear (a title he had stolen himself) was getting ready to shine like his life depended on it. It didn't, but Kylo was a dramatic type of person.

He entered the room where the prisoner was being held, tasting the fear that lingered in the air. Oh yes, the man was scared, scared like a little goldfish in the paws of a hungry cat. Poe couldn't see him, but he could sense him on an instinctive level, the Sith just knew it.

His toes were crawling in his shoes and he was trying to repress the urge to skip around the interrogatory room in excitement. In many ways, Kylo Ren, murderer of a big number of his own classmates back when he was barely thirteen and many more since then, was like a puppy. A murderous puppy with a laser saber and pretty destructive fits, but a puppy at heart, that had a little trouble with containing his misplaced joy.

Kylo found a lot of personal enjoyment in interrogation.

No… Not _that_ kind of personal enjoyment. If it was, it wouldn't be an interrogatory any more and it would go against Hux's prisoner philosophy. Furthermore, it was a guy! Kylo was old enough to know that he was straight and, even if there had been that one time where he had supervised the Stormtrooper's swimming lesson, he wasn't interested. Well, not really. Maybe a little.

Enough of that subject!

He circled his prey and looked at him in the eyes. He was fairly good looking, maybe a little too much on that manly side for the Sith but the fear that oozed from every one of his pores was enough to make up. Poe had heard rumors of torture device and technics that the First Order had inherited from the Empire and what had been an almost laughing subject in front of a cup of booze turned into a sinister possibility once locked in this small room, specially since Kylo had made an appearance.

The latter didn't loose a moment. There were a lot of twinkly lights in this room, so it was best for him to stay focused on the task at hand.

"Where is the map?" He asked once more. It was a simple warm-up. Of course he knew that the pilot wasn't about to spit out the information, that would be stupid…

Secretly, Kylo was hoping that he would so that he could go to bed. It had been well over twenty busy hours since the last time his head had touched a pillow. Even if the Force was with him the Force wasn't coffee and he had ran out of raisin sugar tablets a few days ago, thanks to that stupid Stormtrooper who had been sent on an errand to buy him some but who had come back with ten packages of powder sugar. Now, not only was he suffering from sugar loss but he his cabinets back at his suite was full of something that looked like coke and that he refused to eat in compensation.

"I will never tell!" Spat back the pilot. Wrong answer.

The Sith arm wiped up like a cobra and he crashed into the mind of his victim with his full power. Taken by surprise, the pilot took a moment to recuperate and try to push him back – a hard thing to do if you had never received any training. The only thing Kylo caught was the brief image of a small white and orange robot, a ship, and the face of General Leia – nothing of importance – before everything was taken back and Poe started to kick him out of his head.

They both faced each other, physically not touching but mentally wrestling like two enraged bulls high on testosterone. It was a mad battle of mind, but it wasn't equal. If they would have truly been bulls, Poe would be a frail calf and Kylo an overpowered monster fed with pure steroids and proteins. A black one, of course. What else? Rainbow?

The fight ended as soon as it started, with the pilot understanding that he couldn't face him and turning his heels to run away. If it would only have been about him, he would have stood his ground until he was a bloody little pile of flesh, but it wasn't. It was about BB-8…

Kylo lunged on the information and tried to grab it before it was too late, but Poe managed to slip between his sharp teeth. Neither of them were horny anymore: the pilot had changed into a scared little rabbit and the Sith had unleashed his inner puppy that actually looked like a bulldog mixed like a pit-bull the size of a horse. Nobody had ever said that puppies needed to look cute.

To distract him, the prey tried to bring up some other images then the one he shouldn't reveal, but… they weren't the most creative of all. Even so, Kylo was glad that he had kept his mask, because they made his face burn like it was on fire. Not that he was feeling shy, he had seen enough of these kind of things, but they were rather… unexpected.

Breasts. Nipples. Bigger breasts. A butt in shorts. A butt without shorts. A butt that slowly changed into balls… One over the other. White with orange circles on the side. A friend who had ran away… with something precious… Something that didn't need to be found…

"No," whimpered Poe when he realized his mistake.

The apprentice smirked, the heat of his cheeks fading away as he pinned down his prey under him, squeezing him under his weight. The pilot started to turn red from being pressed so roughly, and spilled right there what the Sith wanted. Satisfied, Kylo snapped back and turned away, walking straight out of the room and leaving a waisted pilot that was fighting to recover his breath.

He bumped into captain Phasma.

The captain was obviously someone giving him a lot of trouble. Not because of her personality: she was an effective member of the First Order and a respected mother of three children that he husband raised back on her home planet. But she was always clad in that shiny armor and Kylo was dying to just reach out and touch, hence looking totally inappropriate.

So he refrained himself and looked away while walking. She promptly followed him, used to never being looked at in the eye by the Sith.

"There is a droid back on Jakku who's name is BB-8. It has the map. Find it and bring it to me," he ordered.

"Right away, sir." She saluted and turned around to walk in the opposite direction.

He sighted lightly. He was so going to bed right now. Who knows when he would be able to get more sleep now, so it was best to try and get as much as he could.

ooo

 _She was in the desert, standing alone and looking up at the shiny stars. She felt at ease and full of wonder, like each time she stared into the twinkling lights of a zillion suns that splashed across the full sky in a wondrous demonstrations of the universe itself._

 _She suddenly noticed a black spot._

 _At first, it was very small, a simple anomaly, a curiosity. But it was getting bigger and bigger by the moment, eating up all its neighbors. She felt an immense fear as she watched it grow and blowing out each star like tiny candles._

 _Soon she was staring into pure darkness. It had taken the sky, but it still wanted more, so it started to take the desert as well, starting from the far edge and slowly coming closer to her. She braced herself and felt the urge to run, but she was surrounded and trapped under it._

 _That was when she started to glow, a glow that quickly morphed into a full shine. She was a star herself, the last star in the darkness. The light that emitted from her was strong, but it wasn't coming form her. She could feel that it was something else, something she had always guessed but never defined. Peace overflowed her and no fear entered her heart, even when the darkness ate the sand under her feet – she was safe from it._

 _She was standing in complete darkness, a night so dark she had never seen anything like it. But it wasn't only that. It was hate, it was anger, it was fear that surrounded her, that caressed her skin and tried to take her. But she was strong. She could sense them but they weren't affecting her._

 _Then she looked up once more._

 _And, in all this fear, in all the hate, in all this anger, in all this darkness that overpowered everything, she saw a small, weak star, far above her, that fought to stay alive._

Rey suddenly woke up to the slow tune of a song she didn't bother to identify. It was slow and obviously romantic, but it wasn't fitting her mood.

She had fallen asleep resting on the edge of her makeshift bed, her knees tucked under it and her head resting in the middle of her folded arms as the music kept playing on her nightstand. The cold was biting her bare face and hands as it snuck in though the cranks and crevices of her little home. Once upon a time, the AT-AT had been isolated enough to walk on icy planets if needed, but that was before spending over thirty years laying in the sand with no maintenance apart form the skill of a broke girl who could have done something if she would have had the time and the money.

She stopped the tune and got in between the sheets. At least she wasn't missing any extra blanket – and for the first time in forever, she had company. BB-8 had powered out next to her pillow, after having finding a way to climb on the bed. She smile softly and passed an arm around it. His metal surface wasn't anything near warm or even soft, in fact it was covered in tiny dents from years of rolling around on all sort of materials, but it was the closest she had come to spending the night with an other living being (apart from rodents that usually starved to death in her company due to the lack of food).

She tried to forget her dream by thinking about what to do with the tiny robot once the aurora would rise once more over the desert. Bringing it to town seemed like a good idea, but she couldn't help but worry about it being captured once more by scavengers. In a way, it reminded her of herself, a poor little thing being left on this planet as the most important persons to her heart flew away in a space shuttle.

Deep down, she selfishly hoped that the robot wouldn't find its master so that it could stay with her.

She smiled and chased those thoughts away, but that only made room for memories of her dream to come charging back.

She thought that the visions of the night were only a product of her brain that randomly made it up to pass time as it was taken in the depth of sleep, but she couldn't help but wonder if there was any truth in this one. She played with the though, before shrugging it off and falling back into the arms of a dreamless night.

ooo

 **It suddenly occurred to me while writing the interrogatory scene that anyone making slash parings would find this moment full off potential. Quick reminders: in the film, the scene stops right after Poe says that he will never reveal where the map is, then jumps to the moment where Kylo comes out of the room and say that it is inside a droid lost on the surface of Jakku. One can only imagine what happened between the two moment…**

 **I don't have a sick mind, only a scientific one, so I had to go on a quest to discover if someone out there had done the unforgivable. No one has… yet. (Well, actually… I almost did. If you read the paragraph after Poe's line that starts with '"No," wimpered Poe', it can be understood in two very different ways once brought out of context…)**

 **More notes on Kylo's name! Someone has brought to my attention (thanks, Mademoiselle le Chat) that Ben sounds like 'come' (ven) in Spanish, and that Solo meant alone… So his name literally meant come alone. I am not personally sure that it is relevant to Kylo as depicted in the film but it still wanted to share it with you guys because it's cool. Who knows, maybe it will inspire me.**

 **Also, I have seen this confusion on several fics out here. Kylo Ren is actually his full name, with Kylo being his name and Ren his _surname_. Call him what you want, I won't sue you for that, but unless you are Japanese or you want to stay really formal (which is the same thing), calling him Ren isn't relevant. Tempting, since Ren is a pretty awesome name, but not relevant. **

**And while we're talking about names, do you know the word for butt in German? No? It's Po. Yes, I have made saucer eye though the whole Kung Fu Panda movies (soon to be a trilogy, by the way) and had nearly chocked when I heard mister pilot here presenting himself to Finn. Now _that_ is better then any joke about slash fanfictions and smut in this entire chapter!**

 **Last but not least: the group mentioned in this chapter actually exists in the star wars universe. Check it out.**

 **(Bonus)**

 **A Star Wars and Pokemon Crossover!**

 **Oh no! A wild KYLOREN appears!**

" **IalwaysgetwhatIwant!" Roars the dangerous dark type wild Pokemon, the skull of his grandfather hiding his facial features. He prepared to fire a Laser Beam.**

" **Rey, I choose you!" Say Clayem as she swings a pokeball in the air.**

" **YoullneverbeasstongasDarthVader!" She cries, engaging in a fierce battle pose as she soon as she materializes. Being a fairy type, she surely has an advantage over him. Her special power 'female badassery' drastically lowered the KYLOREN's concentration!**

" **Rey, use flash!"**

 **A bright light emits from Rey and blinds her opponent, lowering his precision drastically. They soon both use the move sword dance to heighten their attack before striking.**

 **But suddenly… Clayem runs out of inspiration! She used to much of it on the last chapter of _Magpie's Syndrome_! Both fighters stop in their tracks forever…**

 **THE END**


	4. To Electrify A Sith

[After the interrogatory, Poe is being rescued by a deserting Stormtrooper, FN-2187. The two manage to bypass the loose security of the Finalizer and steal a TIE fighter to escape. Upon discovering that the name of his companion resembles the phone number of his ex, the Resistance's pilot decides to change it to Finn, minutes before the both crash on the surface of Jakku.

The newly renamed Stormtrooper wakes up alone under the harsh sun and starts wandering towards smoke, only to discover the wreaked TIE. To prove that life has nothing better to do then overkill of the bitch side, the ship sinks in the sand, before exploding, and Finn deduces that his first non-brainwashed friend is dead. But he get to keep his jacket, so everything is good. Isn't that was friends are for? To share their jackets?

Once awake after her dreamless sleep, Rey takes BB-8 to town, gets attacked by two thugs that were after the robot but ends up being to badass for them and politely sends them flying around in stick language. That is when little target of the First Order recognizes Poe's jacket on Finn. The Force sensitive brunette is eager to test her language skills on anyone that BB-8 points out, so they run after each other though the tents until it is revealed that Finn understands English pretty well and they arrive to an agreement.

Right at that moment, the troops of the evil first attack the outpost and the newly formed trio runs away on the _Falcon Millennium_ itself, to the sound of thousands of fans shrieking in excitement around the globe. After a heated pursuit thought an exotic scenery of fallen giant starships where Rey demonstrates a Mary Sue level of skills with a ship she has never flown before, they escape straight in space, successfully taking BB-8 to safety… for now.]

ooo

He was indulging and he knew it. He loved blinking lights way too much for it to be considered as mentally sane. That control panel left in a deserted area was just perfect for admiring them at his heart's contempt thought. It was his secret spot. No one would dare question him here…

"My lord," interrupted one of Hux's officers.

So much for not being discovered.

Kylo simply darkly glanced over his shoulder to indicate that he was listening to whatever idiocy was going to waste his time unless it was what he wanted or too much of what he didn't want to hear.

"I have some bad news," continued the minion, already sweating with fear.

The Sith recognized him: it was the infamous officer also known as cold-blooded Dan.

Dan was a poker player. A pretty good poker player, actually, since he betted his entire salary at the end of each month and still managed to survive (by eating instant noddles every day) with the remains of his one night of fun every month. That was better then the ones that simply starved to death, but natural selection worked this way.

But what Dan excelled at keeping his cool in all kind of situations. Once upon a time, back in the beginning of the First Order, he had been a pilot fighting the rebels. There is a story he keeps repeating each time he drank a little liquor, and that meant before every meeting.

He had participated in the All'Jaquur battle against the rebels and was flying one of the First Order TIE prototype, a real germ of technology at the time even if the engine still acted like a horse, which meant that if the person was nervous the ship would simply go wild. He had ran out of energy to activate the blasters and had an X-wing on his trail, something that he didn't wish for even his worse enemy (those Resistance bastards were nasty as hell, with no sense of flying etiquette at all). He would have had every reason to panic, but he didn't. And eventually, as the flew though the dark clouds of raging volcanos, some ash got caught in the X-wing's reactor and it exploded, proving one more time that life supported mass murder and violent death (things that Dan used his remaining life to accomplish). Thankful for still being alive, he adopted an abandoned kitten… but unluckily for him it was the reincarnation of the pilot that had died.

Dan was also called The Scared Hand, but this time behind his back, because each time he took out his gloves it was a mess of cat scratches, something he disliked being mocked on.

It was probably due to his reputation of being fearless (or the fact that he was really annoying everyone when he kept obsessing over the tail of his fighting days) that he was the one that Hux sent him when it was time to announce bad news to Kylo. (When it was good news it was the General himself talking to him.)

"We have found the droid."

Oh, where was the catch? The Sith knew that there was one, and a big one at that. He could practically feel the man's teeth chattering together in fear. For all his bragging about being cold-blooded, on a scale from zero to ten a calm Kylo ranked eleven in Dan's brain, and that was when he was calm…

"It was with the escaping Stormtrooper."

Wait, they had caught that guy too? Was it for real? His inner puppy perked up and started to wave it's monstrous spiky tail. Kylo stopped staring at one particular red light that was the ship's autodestruct button, and slightly turn around to face the man.

"Many locals have tried their hand in capturing them, but they have failed."

Oh, now that was good news. Now Kylo wouldn't have to deal with some stinky improvised bounty hunter that wanted some sort of reward for a job any Stormtrooper could have done (and Stormtroopers were free). But… did that mean that nothing had gone wrong on the capture? This seemed almost too good to be true. It couldn't be true. There had to be a catch, otherwise it would have been the General and his gleeful smile standing there, _not_ an expandable minion with no family or friends good enough to regret him apart from an obese cat (Kylo had never killed a higher ranked officer… but everything could happen with the mentally unstable apprentice of Snoke himself).

Oh no. He knew what had gone wrong. There had used his commander ship to get the robot on board and it had been scratched. If that was true, his day was ruined. The Sith couldn't drive it, but he liked his commander ship. It was his personal chew-toy, one of the fastest little things that was on the Finalizer and, most importantly, it matched his dark clothing. The successor of Darth Vader would not survive the humiliation of having a scratch on his ship, or, even worse, having a ship that didn't match him. He was belonging to the Dark Side now! What if they gave his a _gray_ ship as a replacement? What if he had no ship?

"So we sent or troops down to get them ourself and… they got away. Both of them."

Kylo's mind went blank. Like, black hole blank. His hand reached for his saber laser at his waist and drew it, before slamming it on the control panel in front of him. Pushed by the unstable energy of a cracked core crystal and the strength of an even move unstable wielder, it sliced though the metal and cables like butter, imprinting a red trail of glowing melt.

It was fully unsatisfying. So he repeated the motion again and again. Useless soldiers! Useless officers! He would have killed them himself but he still had that much restrain in him. He felt mocked by destiny, mocked by the incompetence of his inferiors, and he hated, _hated_ , to be mocked. So he threw a fit.

When he was finally done, his chest heaving and his lip painful (he had the nasty habit to bite it until it drew blood when he was angered), he turned to Dan. He was still there. He could be all cool-blooded if he wanted, there was no way someone in his right mind would stand there watching him as he vented his uncontrollable anger unless it was his duty to do so.

"What else?" He barked fiercely. There was something else. Something even worse. Something beyond his imagination.

"Well..." Dan praying he wouldn't pee his uniform pants. The though was so intense it filled his mind and blocked what he was going to say.

Kylo raised his hand and drew hims closer in one pull of the Force. The frail chicken neck of the officer found its place in the potentially lethal grasp of the Sith, making him quack in terror.

"What _else_?" He growled. The puppy was strong with this one.

"There was a… A girl..."

Seconds after, Dan was freed and backing up, his job accomplished but still aware that one shouldn't run away from a mad dog unless one wanted to get identified as a prey to chase. He still had a cat to return to tonight. A cat that hated his guts but that still needed food.

Kylo turned around slowly. He hadn't grown within the ranks of the First Order so he had a critical eye on such believes, but for the new Empire, women were just a means of reproduction. Not that they were really considered as inapt (the shiny walking proof was captain Phasma herself) but, since they were the only ones able to breed, it was their duty to do so and proudly let their children go die on the battlefront. A girl wasn't considered a reasonable woman until she had a husband in her bed and a baby in her womb, so the literal translation of what Dan had just said was: we had there three useless piece of scum that escaped our grasp, even if we had a whole army chasing after them.

Before throwing a second tantrum, he reached out through the Force towards the three fugitives, in case he could sense anything about them. And there, he felt something he had never felt before… That could only get compared to a tiny, shining twinkly star.

He jolted back, as if he got burned. And in a certain sense, he had been.

ooo

[After escaping the nasty bad guys, Rey, Finn and BB-8 fly in space until their old ship show signs that it is starting to break down. Rey get her hand in the sludge, but the ship gets eaten by a bigger ship and they hide. Cue nostalgic air when Han himself, followed by Chewie, step on board and discovers the trio.

Turns out no one's head will get blasted despite the ugliest monsters in the Star Wars franchise until this day and everyone are friends, so Han brings them to a beautiful green planet with an epic castle on it. In it, there is apparently a bar, and am I the only one that noticed that the orange little female (Maz Kanata) refereed to Chewie as her fiancee? Anyway, they are of course spies from the Resistance and from the First Order who speak in creepy language (actually, the robot one was kind of cool) that recognized the droid.

Follows a discussion where Finn reveals that he only wants to run away, deceiving Rey but starting a wave of shipping them all around the world (soon to be eclipsed by another). After that, the main heroin then gets called by some strange whimpers in the basement…]

ooo

Was that someone crying?

She was sure that it was someone crying. Or calling. Or moaning. Moaning?

She hoped that she wasn't about to walk into two aliens having sex in some weird traumatizing way. It had happened to her once… Well, not exactly. Her innocent mind had been saved by a passing droid, who prevented her from walking into that tent to buy water. Apparently one of the regular customers had ran out of money to pay and was desperate.

Jakku had been some harsh world.

But she refused to believe that such a green planet still hosted such atrocities. So she held on to the belief that it was someone moaning in pain and pushed forward. She was a courageous girl, right?

BB-8 wasn't far behind her, but she was slowly forgetting him as she kept advancing towards her aim. It was dark and the air smelled like earth and dust, a smell she had only encountered in very old ships before. She wished she had her scavenger gears with her, she could use a little light.

She arrived in front of a door and reached out to open it. Curiously, is wasn't locked, and she entered a small storage room filled with old chests and dust.

There was one little chest.

She only saw this one when she entered. She knew, somehow, that it had been waiting for her, that it was calling to her so strongly she couldn't ignore it. She kneeled in front of it cautiously and reached out to open it. Somewhere in the back of her brain her scavenger habits were coming back to her, telling her that it was dangerous to open a box without being cautious and that who knew what creature could be inside but somehow she knew that poison wasn't the danger to expect here…

It was a flashlight.

Or at least she thought it was a flashlight for a fraction of a second, until she reached out and touched it.

 _A long, metallic hallway. A deep rumble came from within. She immediately recognized the sound of a ship collapsing and ran, ran for her life. The corridor twisted in front of her, the floor became treacherous, she leaped forward to escape._

 _She landed on a hard rock. She looked around, and she saw herself in a desert with all the stars above her and a fire nearby. There was a droid there, a blue little repairer, and a hooded figure… That reached out and laid a metallic hand on the head of its companion._

 _Then suddenly, a monster was standing there. It was tall and dark, its aura menacing and its face covered in a dark fabric. It held a red weapon, one of which she had never seen such before but she knew it was dangerous and unstable. Fear swept through her as she looked up, and she just knew… She was going to face him soon. He was waiting for her._

 _Suddenly he lunged forth, and she raised her hands to protect herself only to be blinded by an unforgiving sun. She squinted and looked around her, and immediately recognized Jakku: it had an unmistakable smell._

" _No! Don't go!" Cried a child._

 _Her. She was being dragged away, her face wet with tears and her free hand reaching up into the sky towards something. Rey turned around and caught a glimpse of the space shuttle who held…_

ooo

It was like someone had shot him in the heart.

He had been dusting his Darth Vader action figures (produced by Dark Fascination Inc, a company directly funded by the First Order) when the Force suddenly electrified him from head to toe. Every single hair of his body stood on its end almost painfully as static electricity coursed though his veins. It lasted a second and an eternity, then vanished as fast as it came, leaving a panting Kylo behind.

Well, no, not everything was the same then before. He tried to sit down to get over the chock, but soon stood up to pace the room, moving various things around. He took out his mask, went to look at himself in the mirror (damn helmet hair, he though as he tried to ruffle them and give them volume), then came back in his room. He had planned to go to sleep soon (he had only slept three hours in the last twenty-four of them, with all the ruckus) but he felt as he needed to do something.

He had become restless.

ooo

 **There is something that I must absolutely talk about before anything else, and that is the latest rumors about how ethically acceptable is a canon Reylo.**

 **I read an article about Disney Infinity and its last game upgrade, of whatever it is called. The legend says that if you play as Ray, Kylo will be shouting out 'face me, cousin'. At first, upon hearing the news, my heart sank as I saw my OTP fall into the dark depth of incest territory.**

 **But I wasn't about to go down with a fight. I made a whole research on how bad it is to have sex with your cousin (did you know Darwin married his cousin? Pretty cool, hun? That must be why most of their children died at an early age!). And it turned out that it was at the very limit of what was considered to be acceptable. Well, I have just made a joke about dying babies without batting an eye, so why not shipping cousins?**

 **(Actually, I don't think that would be a big deal. The major problem about cousin dating each other – on a biological level – is the higher probability of children that carry a rare genetic disease… but also that they carry their family's typical quality. And what is the typical quality of Darth Vader's family line? Well they only made seven movies about it!)**

 **Luckily for me, the rumor was a montage where someone mixed in a clip of Kylo shouting 'face me' and, not 'cousin' (how would he know about that crucial information in the first place?), but curses as he was damaged. That was my cue to start crying in pure happiness. I still have two more years before risking once more my shipping in the face of the canon.**

 **(But… If I may theorize… I highly doubt that Rey is anywhere near being Luke's daughter… It would sound to much like a magician's trick to me. Who would be the mother? And Luke sounds a little to virtuous for messing around with women in the fist place...)**


	5. A Shiny Scavenger Appears!

**It is really, really hard to place jokes in a pseudo canon plot. Please bear with my terrifying serious side for a while, I am trying really hard to make it sound as epic as when I saw it back in the cinema.**

 **Oh, and you know what? To hell with accurate dialogues!**

She was running away, and she knew it. She had ran enough to recognize the devouring feeling at the pit of her stomach, how the fear overcame her, how her legs seemed to move on their own. The change in scenery couldn't hide that however hard she tried to forget: she was still running like the little child she had never creased to be deep inside back on Jakku. And that was humiliating.

She recalled the vision the saber laser – it wasn't a flashlight after all – had made her see and feel in her very bones. She had felt the danger. So much danger. The weapon had called to her to show her what other destinies were linked to hers.

 _The monster._ _Gazing down to her. She was but a frail girl compared to it, a little bit of dust it could crush in its hand…_

She was terrified. She knew that it was already to late, but she wanted to believe that she still had the time to run away, far from the darkness she could feel coursing after her to swallow her whole. She wanted to believe it. She knew she was being a foolish child, but there was no stopping her legs from moving anymore…

Or maybe not. They stopped on their own when she hear the characteristic call of a certain small robot.

"Stop following me, BB-8," she said, grumbling. She was ashamed that she was being seen in such a moment of weakness and wanted to be left alone. She wished she had her collector collection of _Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes_ songs with her. It never creased to calm her when she was hungry and wondering if she would still have enough strength for tomorrow, back on Jakku. It's not like a few additional green plants was going to change that. Or did plants had some mysterious impact on music? She didn't know, she had never encountered so many before.

BB-8 made a few blooping and beeping sounds, expressing its will to help its troubled friend.

"Go back… I don't need you. I–"

She was rather rudely interrupted by a loud explosion. Her heart pace quickened and dread washed over her. This wasn't the trees declaring war to each other, unless the trees here had some sort of secret life of their own (which was their own right, by the way). This was coming from the violent civilization.

That was when she felt it. The anger. Such an overpowering anger and hate, all over the place, looming over her like a hungry beast. She ran to a convenient opening in the evergreen layer of trees and caught a sight of Maz Katana's lair as one tower crushed over the other and the statue of the oldest being she had encountered crumbled under their combined weight. She could hear the screeching of the TIE fighters flying right over the forest's canopy, like overgrown flies buzzing over the open entrails of a fallen beast. The First Order had found them.

She rushed back.

ooo

TN-0483 was idly wondering if he could find any flowers on the forest investigation his superiors had ordered him to conduct. He loved nature. It was the first time he was walking on a planet that had actual plants on it (he had once gone on an expedition where there was some sort of plant life, but since said plant life had legs and greatly enjoyed chasing Stormtroopers around to eat them, he hadn't bothered approaching them). If he was lucky enough, he would be able to pick one of two and tuck them inside his uniform. He wanted to offer them to MI-8390, a pilot and his Stormtrooper brainwashing program crush. He had never seen her face, but she always had such a nice and white helmet over it… and anyway, they said that beauty was only uniform plus skin deep.

TN-0483 had indeed received, as a present from his comrades for is promotions from cadet to soldier, an example of _The Unofficial Guide To Not Being Slaughtered (Stormtrooper Edition)_ , by Captain Phasma, but had never opened it. If he would have, he would have had read, page 83 (his lucky number), the following rule: do not bring flowers back to Starkiller ship, of approach in any way pollen to general Hux; he is extremely allergic.

But he never got the chance to bypass the golden rule and give a much well deserved asthma crisis to the General. TN-0483 was a lucky Stormtrooper.

A noise got him out of his revery about flowers (MI-8390's one included). He jolted back to his senses and spotted a nasty little human girl who seemed to struggle with her gun's safety lock, and raised his own blaster. He didn't like killing, but it was him or her, and frankly, he was really curious about what was going to happen in that next episode of _Starkiller has talent_.

But he missed his shot. A second after, he was dead.

Indeed, TN-0483 was a pretty lucky Stormtrooper. He died a painless death, which was a better end then many of his peers.

ooo

For the first time in the twenty-two years of his life, Kylo was worried about his magpie syndrome.

First of all, he was now officially completely sleep deprived. Second, he was on his nerves like when he had a sugar high, which would have been normal and acceptable if he would have had eaten any sugar before going but since he hadn't it was worrying. But thirdly and the worse was the pull he had towards something he could sense in the forest.

Something _shiny_.

He was glad that he wasn't conducting the ship, otherwise it would have been hard for him not to fly straight into the trees (a reckless action that would have scratched his precious commanding shuttle for sure). But that didn't prevent him from waiting for the moment to land way to eagerly for the comfort of his escort. Or for his own comfor,t which was the most important.

For all his antics and his obsessions, Kylo knew when he was going to far even for him. And the way his mind just kept coming back over and over to that thing he sensed in the forest wasn't normal. Not that he thrived for normality in any way. Once again, Kylo Ren was the dramatic type of person.

When she ship landed, he practically jumped out of his chair and marched straight to the hatch that he opened with a flicker of the wrist (and a command to the Force). He didn't wait for the Stormtroopers to precede him on his way out (which he usually did, because it made him look important), passing a clear message: he was to be left alone.

Walking helped his state. He speeded until the cover of the trees was over him, before tracking his prey. He hid himself, trying to calm the raging energy that seemed to dance all over his insides and signal to however was Force-sensitive that an overpowered maniac was sulking around and failing at being discreet.

But she – he knew it was a she – was to busy fighting for her survival, and she was still shocked at her recent first kill. He could sense her thoughts swirling around her head in panic. He dared a smile under his mask. How cute. He still remembered his own first kill and hadn't been nearly as panicked as her.

Suddenly, she whipped around and froze. Their eyes met. She recognized him. From where, he had no idea, but she knew, on some level, who he was. In a heartbeat, she tried to shoot him, but failed when he blocked the shot with his saber laser.

The familiar blade rumbled with its familiar buzz as it rested back to his side, ready for the next blow. Her eyes widened and she took a step back, and he took the opportunity to run straight to her and swing his blade around. She had sticked first, thinking she was so smart with her little gun, it was now time to show her the extent of his own ability. Showing off was among his favorite activities (with bullying).

She ran.

Thinking that he would be hindered in a tight space since his blade was long, she plunged into a crevasse. He didn't hesitate an instant. Who did she think he was? He was a master of crammed spaces! She realized, too late, that she was the one having trouble reaching him, since the curves of the walls prevented her from walking around pretty far if she wanted to keep shooting him. She climbed up a slope, using years of scavenging skills, a plan forming in her mind. Once up there, she turned around, whipped her gun up, aimed…

And her arm got plastered to her body.

He slowly approached her, savoring the moment, and for the first time focusing on her appearance rather then her moves or her (far to predictable) mind. She was pretty, that much he could tell, with a slender form and… oh, really nice legs… but Kylo had learned not to pay attention to beauty. He considered himself as an ugly person and had stopped looking for it in the outside world a long time ago. What he was more interested in was her actual health and how trained of a fighter she was. After all, anyone could fire a gun, so the fact that she had shot one or two idiots didn't indicate much.

Slowly circling her, he expertly played with her nerves and observed her at the same time. She was slim, that much he had already noticed, but she wasn't entirely made of bones. She had very little body fat, as if she had fed on only the minimum for her whole life, and had a tan, a sigh that she was recently coming from a place with a lot of sun.

That was his cue to let his inner puppy make a happy dance inside of him. He had found the girl from Jakku, and that meant that the droid wasn't far. Probably already captured by his troops – unless they were really, _really_ useless.

But the droid wasn't the only interesting thing about her, in fact, it was the last of his concerns right now. It was the first time he encountered such a shiny being. Not on the outside, but to his senses she shone like a precious stone, just waiting for the light or the darkness to lit her thought the right angle. He watched her with glee. She belonged to him now. He wanted to take her away in his dark claws and fly all the way to his nest to _keep_ her. She was a nobody. It wasn't like anybody would notice that she was missing.

As he was thinking these luscious thoughts he had finished circling her and was now standing in front of her once more, to stare into her eyes. His saber laser was still on, its electric buzz whispering endless tales of bloodlust, but he was more interesting in the large, terrified openings to her soul. They were dark brown. In a certain light, they could be dark… he just knew it. And yet, he could still sense a bright spark in them, something that called for him more powerfully. If he would be listening to himself, he would be already reaching out to them…

But he had a mission.

"I've heard of you," he whispered. With the mask deforming his voice, it sounded like a low growl. "Where is the droid?"

She was silenced by fear. She couldn't get her eyes off his mask, as she was desperately trying to will her muscles to move – but the hold around her was as strong as it was invisible. Her thoughts were spinning all over the place and she wasn't aware yet that someone was observing her in her most private sphere.

She quickly flew from one side to an other of her head and he greedily followed her fluttering. She was smart enough. He saw glimpses of her story. She had been just a scavenger on Jakku, a shame, with such an intriguing aura. Her past was confused, but it didn't interest him now. He was looking for a valid reason to take her with him, her, the shiny little thing he had found…

Suddenly, a fleeting imaged of more recent events passed in a flash in front of his eyes. He saw his father, standing in the middle of a room and around him, projected as a hologram…

"You saw the map."

Her eyes met his, and he smirked under his mask. She was realizing that he had been in his mind. The though scared her, but he also sensed confusion and a touch of delicious anger. He could have purred. He loved provoking anger in his powerless prey – that only made him crushing them all the more pleasurable. He slowly circled her, as to choose the best angle of action to assault her, taking in her form once more.

She was a real doll, now that he was looking carefully. A little on the rough and unrefined side, but still something he would take great pleasure to possess as a trophy and to admire secretly. Once bathed and dressed in proper clothes… black would suit her after spending a few month far from the sun. But the most important was the almost blinding shine that she was emitting. It pulled him to her like a magnet, and once close he felt it warm him from the inside, feeding him something he craved for in the end: light. Like a plant emerging from the earth, he could feel his leafs turn green and flourish near her. It was opposing the way he wanted to go, but he was already getting addicted to that guilty pleasure.

He stopped right beyond her vision, taunting her with his menacing presence without letting himself be seen.

"Give it to me," he said, his voice trailing on the edge of the warning tone. She was his now, all his, but that didn't meant that he was going to be nice to her.

"Never," she said. It was the first word that passed her lips. He decided that he liked her voice.

"I always get what I want," he answered simply. There was no need for any other explanation.

He was preparing to crash in her mind with all his strength when a voice interrupted them, almost making him jump and lose his hold on the girl.

"My lord, the rebels are striking back. There is no signs of the robot. We are demanding permission to retreat," said a Stormtrooper.

Kylo glanced over his shoulder, towards the man. He hadn't sensed him coming at all, and there even was two of them. He had been too absorbed by his catch, or simply was practically sleeping while standing. He took a second to register the information and come up with a reply (even if that reply, he was soon to realize, was a pretty stupid one).

"There is no need. I have found the information we are looking for." And with that, he raised his arm and used the Force to make her sleep. She feel, limp, into his arms – and there something strange happen. Later, he blamed it on the state of great tiredness in which he was, but on the moment that excuse didn't fool him.

He looked down to her and saw her sleeping face, felt the warmth of her body though his dark cloth and her weight in his arms. She felt as frail and looked as delicate as the white feather of a magpie, the ones that grew at the very end of its wing. He felt an overpowering instinct of possession, but also, deep inside, in the empty black pit where his heart had once been… a very light flutter.

(Okay, maybe it was rather his heart breaking into a mad sprint. But he would have died before admitting it to anyone but himself.)

He secured his prey against his chest, raising his head and forbidding himself from looking down, before passing straight next to the Stormtroopers. The two comrades glanced at each other, feeling pity towards the poor girl but also curiosity about what the terrible Sith had in store for her. It was a rather morbid curiosity, but one could only stand so long the First Order's brainwashing without acquiring some sort of attraction towards twisted actions.

He walked straight to his ship, passing over the rumble ad using his senses to get there without getting accidentally shot by a passing X-wing (or a TIE fighter, because the First Order's pilot were pathetic enough to shoot their own boss). Unknown to him, he was spotted by a deserter and a smuggler, but since it didn't change anything to his day it wasn't important.

The important part started once aboard his command shuttle. He walked in the dimly lit cockpit (the Dark Side didn't need any light) and stood there, wondering what was next. He couldn't carry her until the Finalizer… could he?

His inner puppy sure hoped he could.

He looked around. Apart from his seat (by far the most comfortable) and the ones of his pilots, there wasn't anywhere where he could lay her. His escort was supposed to stay standing up.

He turned around and, for a second, was about to give her to one of the Stormtroopers, but something held back. Being on the Dark Side of the Force, all the vices were encouraged in him, and his greed had just struck his door three times. The girl was _his_. He wasn't about to let another touch her.

So his decision was made. Still holding her, he sat on his chair and rested her so that her head would stay on the armrest and her legs over the other side. He checked that she was stable and not about to slip from his hold, before positioning his own arms in a position he immediately deemed as comfortable, for some reason: one arm around her knees and pressing them towards his chest and the other surrounding her head in such a way that she almost rested it in the nape of his elbow.

Without knowing or realizing it, he had taken an almost tender pose, making his escort's chins touch the ground in sheer astonishment. His pilots would have done the same if they would have dared looking back even a little, but the coffee incident was so present in their minds that their new year's resolution had been to never risk looking at their boss in the eye.

The ship took off and starting leading the reaming TIE fighters away from the battle field and toward the Finalizer, that was itself heading toward the nearby Starkiller base. As they turned their back, many cheered, but a few already knew that Rey was aboard the ship and was currently flying away from them, and felt dread in their hearts as they thought about the fate that awaited the poor girl.

Kylo wasn't even thinking about what he was going to do next with her. Actually, Kylo wasn't thinking about much, since he was dozing off. Eventually, his head laid back on the chair and the terrifying Sith joined his prey in dreamland.

A soldier of his escort, feeling particularly brave, contoured the imposing seat of the successor of Darth Vader, only to discover the cutest sight anyone had witnessed Kylo Ren in since her had turned twelve and developed his emo side (as well a bad case of acne, something that would scar him for life). The Stormtrooper smiled under the white shell of his helmet, feeling evil, and using the camera in his mask (an upgrade made by the First Order to all uniforms) captured a single picture, before hurrying back it his spot.

ooo

 **I have something to confess. I have never met such a success for one of my stories in my life. Its awesome and I could hug every single person that supports this story, but I am worried. What if I get arrogant? What if I get too confident?**

 **So I have resolved myself. I will do my best to make something worth your and my time, while never forgetting the initial purpose of this fanfiction… eating chocolate.**

 **As you guys may have noticed, I was a little more serious and romantic with this chapter, and will probably still have a little more of that next time. Why? Because next chapter… will be the (in)famous interrogation scene! I have seriously seen soooooooooooooooooooooooooo many versions of it that I honestly don't know what hasn't been done yet. Calm down, guys! Just because she is tied up to a chair and he takes out his mask just for her doesn't mean much… Right?**

 **(Wrong. I love this scene as much as you! Please keep writing about it!)**

 **Anyway, here if a fluffy bonus. Enjoy.**

 **(Bonus)**

 **Meanwhile, In Paradise**

 **TN-0483 walked though the large golden gate, amazed. There were little angles, fluffy birds and white clouds everywhere as the sun sun shone brightly over it all like if…**

 **Like if he had arrived in paradise.**

" **But… How? I have killed people!" He cried.**

" **MY DEAR DEAD CHILD," boomed a voice from above, "DO YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE REALLY CREATED SUCH A NASTY PLACE AS HELL IF I REALLY LOVED YOU?"**

 **He was about to reply to God, when he saw a beautiful vision surrounded by singing angels and little birds carrying flowers. MI-8390 had died in the battle as well, a few minutes after TN-0483, but her helmet was still as spotless as he remembered it. He felt his heart beat fast in his chest and a secret smile creep on his lips.**

 **When she saw him too she ran to him. Clouds sprayed around her ankles and she seemed to move in slow motion. She started to laugh, a crystal clear laugh, the most marvelous sound TN-0483 had heard in his life. He started to run to her too and they threw themselves in each other's arms.**

" **Oh, eighty-three… I am so happy to see you here..."**

" **I… I wanted to bring you flowers… I am sorry…"**

" **But they have flowers here, as much as we want, and… Eighty-three, it's wonderful, I am not allergic anymore!"**

" **It's wonderful!"**

" **We can stay here and you can offer me flowers for ever and ever!"**

" **It's wonderful!"**

 **And so they went, hand in hand into the sunrise, as a rainbow crossed the sky above them, a choir of angels sang a lovely song, birds came to spread petals on they way, a crowed standing on each side of their pass to cheer for them and throw them flower, their armors shining like they were brand new, the image of the perfect love indeed.**

 **TN-0483 was a very, _very_ lucky Stormtrooper.**

 **THE END**


	6. The Importance Of A Good Haircut

There were many things in Kylo's life one could have trouble understanding if taken out of context. For example, his wardrobe was filled with dozen and dozen of the same black uniform and boots and that seemed a little bit of an overkill, but when one saw the master of the Knights of Ren coming back from a field day it was more understandable why he needed to posses many identical changes.

Or the fact that he had theses ridiculous black curtains around his bed. That was in case someone tried to take a photo of him sleeping without his mask and sell it (he was famous and mysterious enough for a few to be ready to pay and take a glance at the feared Sith). In case there was such an idiot to do so, he would have to get close enough to the bed for Kylo to sense him and wake up (since his training with Snoke, he was never completely unaware of his surrounding).

Or the fact that he washed his gloves while leaving them on before eating. That actually had two purpose: to test if they were still waterproof and because he didn't like eating without washing before while unwilling to take his gloves off in case his skin would enter in contact with the food. (Yes, Kylo was a maniac, but this had already been established.)

But having an assigned interrogatory room two steps away from his quarters was the opposite to these details: other would tend to think that he had many people to question and that he would enjoy doing it in a menacing way, but in reality Poe had been the one inaugurating it and he thought that they were high chances that his latest acquisitions would end the need of it. Once Luke Skywalker discovered and slaughtered, he would accomplish what his grandpa had been unable to finish and could return to simply being evil.

Instead of going back to the Finalizer, Kylo's ship had headed straight to Starkiller itself, landing in his reserved parking spot in the VIP hangar. Once docked, his escort gathered around them, awkwardly shifting from one foot to an other, not knowing what to do. Someone had to wake him up, but there was no telling what would happen to the one that did it. For the pilots, it was clear, they didn't even stay in the ship to observe the outcome of what was about to happen. They were persuaded that it would end pretty badly anyway.

After a few seconds of side-glancing, they wordlessly decided to get off the ship together and leave their master to rest. They all knew it was a stupid thing to do and that they would have to face the consequences later, but they preferred this then to deal with a sugar and sleep deprived mad man barely walking up and still holding his saber laser within hand reach (even if it was precisely under Rey's butt at the moment).

Seconds after, Kylo's head shot up and he looked around, pretty annoyed that he was alone. He had stopped sleeping since the second his ship's motor had turned off (it was the same instinct that woke up the children that slept like angels in cars but that turned into yelling sobbing messes the second said car was stopped). He had only been waiting for an idiot to dare try and wake him up… Only to get caught at his own game.

He had been looking forward to Force-catapult one of his employees.

He tried to get up and soon was glad he was alone: he was struggling with the weight of his prisoner. Not that she was heavy, far from it, it was him that was weak. He had to try two times (each tentative ending with a pathetic flop back where he had started) before being able to stand on his own two feet with his prey in his arms. He looked proudly down at her, as if checking if she had seen his prowess, before remembering that he had been the one that has knocked her to sleep and that he was supposed to hope that she wasn't waking up before the interrogatory room.

He walked out almost grumbling to himself. That was it, he was in a bad mood. Adding to that, he smelled like ten thousand skunks of sweat and his muscles were starting to ache from lack of sleep. He was so looking forward to a quick shower and a nap, but there he had things on his to-do list before that, and that included securing his prisoner.

He had rarely captured anyone alive. Hux was actually the guy who usually did the catching around Starkiller. The general had a strange etiquette about his own preys, but Kylo had never really given a care about it (even if the redhead had made sure that the head of the Knights of Ren was not bypassing the basic rules, such as no harming prisoners unless they were tortured). So having, firstly a prisoner, secondly a girl and thirdly that he carried around in his own two arms turned the heads of a lot of passer-by, not that he minded being the center of the attention (more then usual).

Apart from that, the journey to the interrogation room was without an incident. He used the Force to make the prisoner seat come out of the ground, attached her, called in a Stormtrooper to watch the door and carefully removed the mask of his grandfather that rested in a tray of his supposed ashes and hid it in a hidden cabinet, under a protective dome.

He didn't notice how his eyes didn't divert towards passing blinking lights.

Once the guard was there and that he was assured that she wouldn't escape while he wasn't looking, he gave himself a quick moment to go back to his place, that was barely a few steps away down the hallway, and took the time to get a quick shower.

The warm water on his body was a blessing and he displayed his most horrifying skill yet: his terrible singing voice. Luckily for him, his suit was soundproof. Despite the real enjoyment he found in cleaning himself, he soon stepped out of the shower, thinking that he didn't have a lot of time… but soon gave in to the strange urge of drying and combing his black curls correctly, virtually wasting his efforts since he was going to wear his mask soon.

He was going to be glad that he had taken this seemingly pointless extra measure, only he didn't know it yet.

One drying, combing and new uniform later (carefully chosen from a full row of identical uniforms), he beat the urge to sleep into a bloody pulp on the ground of his bedroom and returned to the interrogatory room. The girl was still there and she hadn't awakened, to his personal satisfaction since it indicated that he hadn't wasted any time. With a single, wordless sign, he dismissed the Stormtrooper that promptly walked out and stood at the entrance of the door to watch that none would disturb his superior and his private time with his prisoner.

He took a while to watch her sleep and silently bath in her aura once more. He could picture himself in a bed with her, cuddling her as he was drifting off to sleep… Gosh, he needed a rest. He decided that even if she was going to reveal right here and now where was hiding Luke Skywalker he was going to go straight to his room and sleep twelve hours straight after that. The damn old man had hid for nine years, he could hide a little longer before being killed. It was Hux's job to watch that the Resistance didn't get to him first.

He crouched on a chair, taking the pose of a black scavenger bird carefully observing its prey and slightly pushed on her mind. She awoke with a start, quickly coming back to her senses regarding where she was and with whom. With a hint of surprise, he sensed that she immediately held her fear down and focused on the situation at hand first.

Her gaze fell hard on him and her first tightened in hard resolve. They spent two long seconds looking at each other, in a game of who would dare to speak up first. She lost.

"Where am I?" She asked.

First rule of an interrogatory: don't answer any questions, so he didn't reply. She wasn't going to get anything from him.

"Where are the others?" She said, without letting herself be taken aback by his silence. She was wary, he could sense it, cautious about what she was thinking and instinctively keeping her thoughts to herself, but he did perceive her growing hostility towards him. He was a monster, a puppet of the First Order. She was conveniently hiding herself behind a wall of prejudice, the easiest road towards hate.

His aim was to make her unsettled, throw her into confusion: she would be hence more readable. Right now, her thoughts were clear and focused, making her a dangerous enemy if he would mentally attack her in his weakened state. He had to prove her that he was able of anything, especially what she wasn't expecting from him. It was important.

In a way, mind reading was like wrestling: both 'fighters' had to enter in contact. Kylo usually had the upper hand because he had been trained to do that since he was very young but that didn't exempt the possibility of him tripping and falling so he usually weakened his victims by making them afraid. Panic was the easiest state of mind to manipulate, so any maneuver before had to push the other one towards it. The mask usually helped him with that and had an extra protection layer that could serve as a first line of defense against mental attacks.

She had every reason of being afraid. She was alone on an enemy ship, locked in with one of the most terrifying men of the galaxy and she even had seen how powerless she was in his hands. And yet, she had a Jedi-like focus at the moment. It seemed that she was naturally gifted in keeping her calm and that made her more dangerous then what she looked, like his own mind manipulation capacities was his real talent.

"You still want to kill me," he suddenly said. Always talk in affirmative when doing an interrogatory to make the prisoner doubt.

"You're just a monster in a mask," she directly replied.

Such confidence in her statement made him want to prove her wrong, and that was the perfect opportunity to do so. He reached up, pressed the hidden switch that prevented his precious helmet from being yanked off, and he feels the familiar shift under his chin before he takes it of.

Black, shiny curly hair framed a long face, barely flattened and recently cleaned. His skin was pale, lacking in light, but his eyes were dark and unreadable, full of a cold anger that only seemed to need a spark before igniting in uncontrollable flames. He was dangerous, ready to strike out and tear her if she gave him the chance. But also human.

She repressed the urge to bite her lip, and he repressed the urge to smirk in triumph. They both held each other's gaze, and once more she lost first, diverting her eyes. He slams his mask in the tray that had formerly contained Darth Vader's to prove his point. He wasn't afraid of showing himself to her. He was stronger then she would ever be.

He could sense that she was now slightly uneasy. She was not talking to a cold surface anymore, but to a fleshy human being. Deep within, her will to be nice with any human she encounters (she had seen so few of them in the last years) stirred, slightly changing her behavior towards him. She thought the most absurd thing. Now that she had seen his true face, she was almost persuaded that he could have feelings, which was, of course, laughable.

Pushing his advantage, he advances on her, invading her personal space as she can't do anything to prevent him from doing so. "Let's talk about the droid."

She tries humor, a third taunting, a third playing and a third escaping. "He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and–"

"–And a section of a navigation chart," he interrupted, unamused, "the last piece of a map we need. He showed it to you."

She feel silent. She was starting to realize that he hadn't removed his coldness with his mask: it was an armor he wore all the time and a blade he wouldn't hesitate before plunging it in her flesh. She tried to gather her calm once more, resolving herself, but he didn't give her that luxury.

"You know that I can take whatever I want," he said as he closed in on her. In a flash, his hand was near her head and he had latched on her thoughts.

She immediately resisted him, though her fist impulse was to try and run away. She winced at the intrusion in her head, but she met him head on the second she realized what was happening.

 _I am not running away._

She should have had. He tips her over and reaches into her, finding her most sensitive areas and pulled out bits and pieces to destabilize her even more. He discarded the useless things (he vaguely noted the name of a band of musicians she liked) and went for the things she preferred to ignore about herself because she didn't know how to deal with them.

"You were lonely, so very lonely. And afraid. Afraid of many things." He repressed a smirk upon showing her her own weaknesses. "You are still alone and afraid. No one will come for you here." He reached deeper. "There is something haunting you, something you forgot but you know is there. I can see it."

She shut down immediately after that, focusing on an image that filled her whole mind. And what better thing to fill a mind then…

"An ocean. I can see the island in the middle," he said, almost amused. The vision she had conjured to protect herself was powerful, but it didn't hold any real meaning to her and she could hold it long, specially under his assault. She tapped in her emotions and brought up a memory he was surprised to find. From all the men in the galaxy, she had to bring up that particular one.

"Han Solo," he announced, his anger rising. She dared to use him as a shield. His own wrath barely concealed his mixed feeling, the guilt, the anguish, these old ghosts he though he had chased away. These were signs that he should draw back, that he was too tired to continue and that it was getting dangerous for him, but he didn't care. It had suddenly become a matter of pride to beat her into submission. The feelings she was having about the man Kylo had betrayed in every possible way only taunted him. "You see him as a father. He'll disappoint you."

That last comment annoyed her. She gritted her teeth and fought against him once more, this time with a firm resolve.

"Get out."

He closed in on her, getting even closer and menacing. "I _know_ you have seen the map. You will give it to me."

"I am not… giving you anything."

And with that, she tripped him and made him fall. The impossible happens: David overcame Goliat. She slamed his defense down and reached inside him, grabbing information as she rushed. She didn't have much time, she knews it, but it was payback time. She blurted out something randomly, realizing what she said as she spoke it.

"You're afraid too. You're afraid you will never be as strong as Darth Vader."

And that's were he made his last mistake. Upon having his own greatest fear being thrown back in his face, he forgot for a brief instant that his mind was open to her and almost tried to shut down her will and manipulate her, but refrained at the last moment and backed up hastily. The telepathic link snapped almost painfully, but, unknowingly to him, he had given her the key to her escape.

He was wordless and stared back at her for several long moments, his chest heaving from the effort. He had failed. She had won that round. Anger stormed though him, and he felt a light blush of shame cover his cheeks. He was lucky she didn't know how to establish a telepathic link or she would have easily tacked him down and extracted what she wanted from him now that he was revealed to be weakened and that his emotions were bouncing all over the place.

Without a word, he grabbed his mask and shut himself under it as he walked out. He had only been way to confident about pushing that nap away. It was time to sink in dreamland for a few hours, Luke Skywalker or not.

ooo

 **Ahoy! So we got a full hand of chapter out for this story! (Minus the prologue.) I guess it's some sort of accomplishment, right?**

 **Oh, and I got to wish you a happy new year! A friend of mine fortune-told me that it was going to be smooth and nice for me, so I'm pretty exited (not that its any different then my normal state of mind or that anyone cares).**

 **Anyway, I wanted to talk about something fun I have stumbled upon while browsing the net (not for my researches, for once, but for my own curiosity: I was wondering how were stars reacting to fans shipping their characters). Anyway, I stumbled upon a few interesting articles and one in particular that, coincidence, was related to Star Wars.**

 **Picture this. J. J. Abrams spends a big time of the film taunting us with a ReyxFinn possible shipping, with several scenes foreseeing a possible romantic attachment of the deserter to the scavenger. Enters the fandom (and the ironic part) that lolnopes him and… ships Finn and Poe instead.**

 **I love the internet, seriously.**

 **Since I adore ironic turn of events, I must warn you that there will be some upcoming jokes about these two. This is not a slash story, so I reassure you that they will be no romantic scenes for those that it makes uncomfortable. But they will be hints, a lot of heavy ones at that, just that you know, but honestly it will be all right because they will clearly be humor related.**

 **Or so I hope it will be all right.**


	7. The Kyhux clan

_Kylo Ren, Sith of Darkness, evil Warlord of the First Order, apprentice to Snoke, masked successor of Darth Vader, was currently sitting in the middle of a large field of flowers and eating muffins. There weren't any kind of muffins either: it was strawberry flavor, with vanilla chips in the dough and chocolate sprinkles all over it. He was grateful that he was dressed in black, because he probably had some chocolate powder all over him by now. Not that there were his favorite, but he wasn't going to say no to muffins. He could be evil all his wanted, he was human in the end, even if he prided himself in his lack of primordial human capacities such as empathy or feeling._

 _So he was there sitting and eating muffins, when a large unicorn plushie came to join him. It was white, sparkly, and extremely fluffy. It seemed to bounce on the ground as if it weighted nothing at all, and was frantically flapping its little fairy wings. It even had three babies, identical copies of itself following it and doing the exact same thing then it, bouncing and flapping, except cuter because they were smaller and that they had big puppy eyes._

 _The mother unicorn paused near him and sniffed the air, as if checking if it was okay to come closer. Kylo stopped muching on his treat, swallowed, and saw himself pick up a muffin from ground and giving it to the creature. It hopped closer, passed its large stuffed muzzle over it in curiosity, before giving the Sith a hug. Soon, the babies joined in and they shared a group embrace on the field full of flowers…_

He woke in one of the most unpleasant way, and that meant with his nose smashed on the ground, panting, damp in sweat and his hair sticking up in every direction. To make things worse, his sheets were tangled up around his body and at what point in the night did he get rid of his pajamas and his boxers?

He slowly got up and rubbed his head, a reminiscence of his habit to grab his ear when he was smaller. He had been dreaming of something, but he didn't remember what. He just knew that it had been terrifying. Kylo Ren didn't often make nightmares, but when he did, they were the worse his twisted mind could come up with, a work of pure horror fit for a sick mind.

Figuring out that he was fully awake now, he got up with a sight. He hoped that he had slept enough, because it was definitely time to get active and going again, or so his instinct told. He was a monster, and monster always listened to their instincts, right?

Or so that girl had called him.

He realized that he still didn't know her name. It hadn't occurred to him to search for it in her mind while he was interrogating her. He had been too taken in other things at the moment, and his lack of sleep made it pretty hard to remember everything anyway, so he had a good excuse. He would catch it when he would see her again. Or simply would ask her. Given her hostility towards him, he doubted that she was going to give it to him like that, but it would be nice if she would…

Wait, what? He was hoping that she would be nice to him? No way! Not in a million years! It was only a figure of thought. Nothing that showed that he wished to enjoy having one of his questions answered without resistance. He was supposed to enjoy making her bend to his will. Specially after his last failure!

He mentally went though all the informations he had extracted from her. For some reason, the name of her favorite band came to his mind. He absently picked a pen from his desk and wrote it on his hand, along with other bits and stuff such as her favorite color (green).

Then he though over. There had been something missing as he had passed though her thoughts, something that he usually loved to throw back at anyone who's mind he was visiting, and that was their darkest sexual fantasies. Generally, Stormtroopers loved to do things with unanimated objects (a side effect of the fact that they were usually treated like them?), including, sometimes, their own blasters (which explained the weirdest occurrences of unexplained death among them, not that Hux believed him when he told him). Higher ranked officers were turned on by dominating women (or men, which made working with the General or himself difficult from time to time) that tortured them in some way. And he could mention a few other examples after giving it a moment of thought.

But he focused back on the girl, trying to figure out if he had unraveled something. What were her fantasies? He tried as hard as he could to remember, but he couldn't. He had found nothing close to that. For some reason, that annoyed him. He wanted to know. It had become very important to him now that he had figured out that he hadn't discovered it.

He tumbled to the bathroom, without noticing that he was still stark naked. He reconsidered when he spotted his sun-lacking skin in the mirror over the sink. He stomped back to his bed and when though the sheets, only to find his black pajamas rolled into a tight ball at the end of the bed. His boxers weren't anywhere in sight.

That had been a troubling habit of his, or rather, as he liked to call it in his mind, a _regular accident_ : once asleep, let it be for ten minutes or twelve hours straight, he sometimes managed to kick out his clothing and wake up more or less naked. There weren't any reason for it either, it just seemed that he was a rather agitated sleeper. It would be embarrassing if someone actually walked in, but otherwise he would be fine…

The door to his room opened and a droid _rolled_ in, carrying his morning drink of water. It laid it on the nightstand next to its master's bed and turned around, before freezing in its tracks upon seeing him up. It was one of these luxury models that didn't go higher then the waist but that could carry things around and serve for many other things…

Yes, some sick rich people did get their kicks from having a robot doing _that_ to them. It was equipped with enough to please about fifty eight percent of the known intelligent species… Not that Kylo had tried anything, he had just read the manual (and had felt a little sick upon laying it down).

The robot and the Sith stood in front of each other in silence.

The droid wolf whistled.

Kylo pulled his saber laser into his hand with the Force and turned it on.

The useless piece of technology turned around and hurried out the door as fast as his little wheels could carry it. Its master considered chasing it, but it escaped out of the suit and Kylo didn't think that chasing a robot down a crowded hallway while wearing nothing but his birthday suit was a good idea. He wasn't _that_ mad.

Just then, his alarm came on, screeching and making him jump. On instinct, he sliced his clock in two. Then, upon realizing what he had done, stayed dumbfounded, staring at the silenced but destroyed item sitting on his desk. What that some bad omen predicting the worse day of his life?

He turned off his weapon and tossed it on his undone bed, before heading to his dresser. Clothes had suddenly become his number one priority.

ooo

There was maybe something to be done. She looked over her shoulder, trying to get a look at the door, but that didn't turn out to well since she was pretty much stuck to her chair. She had been trying to figure out if she was alone for the last ten minutes, wiggling all over the place to be able to look behind her. If someone was there, he must be having fun looking at her making a fool of herself.

She eventually resorted to more mystical micmac, and closed her eyes. She calmed her breath, and tried to focus on what she had learned from her brief contact with the mind of the man that had captured her – she wasn't sure of his name. She didn't seem to have caught it at any moment of their interactions together. For now, she decided to name him the Dark… Vulture. A vulture seemed like the perfect animal for him. Cold and calculating, waiting for a moment of weakness to come swoop down and start feasting…

 _But vultures are bald_ , protested a weirdly logical side of her. She dismissed it with a sight. So vulture it was. The Vulture.

Back to business. She had clearly seen in his head more then what he had intended to show her in the first place, things that had resonated deep inside her and that, even if she had never thought of it, had made sense to her. She knew that the Vulture had some sort of power that gave him the possibility to read her mind, that much was crystal clear. But she had felt something else. For a second, he had tried to… control her? She had clearly seen the path he had taken in his head for that and she was a fast learner. It was her only way out anyway, so why not give it a shot?

She called out.

"You will free me from my bonds and walk out of my cell without locking it," she said.

"What?" Answered the metallic voice of a Stormtrooper.

So there had been someone in her with her after all! She repressed a smile. Now wasn't the time to rejoice. The hard part was starting for her.

The soldier, intrigued, walked towards her, and she did something she haven't done in a long time: she opened her mind to try and read him. That skill of hers, unneeded on Jakku and hence unused, was a bit rusty, bit it was a little like bicycling, never completely forgotten. She vaguely touched the outline of a presence that wasn't hers just before the man (if it was still considered as one) walked into her vision. She was relieved to see that he didn't have the menacing aura the other creep had. She didn't know if she would never dare trying it on him, for some reason.

"What did you say?" Asked the Stormtrooper one more time. His voice had a warning tone, the type that said that she had heard but that he was giving her a chance to back up and correct herself.

She found the courage to not back up.

"You will free me from my bonds and walk out of my cell without locking it." She tried to repeat the Force motion the Vulture had almost made on her.

"I will _tighten_ your bonds, you dirty desert rat," snapped the soldier. But he didn't move to do so.

That was suspicious. She repeated once more the action, and something distinctly clicked in place. Her heart jumped all the way to her throat at that. Apparently, Stormtroopers were so used to receive orders and obey without question that mind control was only a small hop further. But she wasn't sure that it had worked yet.

"You will free me from my bonds and walk out of my cell without locking it."

"I will free you from your bounds and walk out of your cell without locking it."

It wasn't her fault if she didn't know that she was in an interrogatory room.

The soldier moved to a small panel on the wall and pressed a single button. The cuffs one her ankles, wrists and neck immediately released her, but she still didn't move from her chair. She was too chocked at how easy it was. She was sure that there was going to be a trick somewhere, that her bonds were going to slam back on and that the man was going to turn to her and sneer something in the lines of 'and you thought I was going to obey you, idiot?'.

But the soldier simply turned around and walked out.

"Drop your gun!" She cried on impulse.

"I drop my gun," he answered, a statement closely followed by a clang.

She jumped out of her chair and sprung around, checking that it was really happening. The first one to be surprised at the fact that she did see his back as he got further was her. Not that there was anyone with her here to be surprised about it yet, but she wasn't going to hand around until she did have company.

She hurried to the exit, picked up the gun and almost bumped into the Stormtrooper that has stopped. For a second, she froze, terrified at the thought that he had regained his senses and was now about to turn around, but he didn't budge. She sighted when she realized that he had precisely done what she had asked him, and that now that he was out of the cell he was awaiting his next orders.

"Go back to your quarters," she whispered. When he turned and walked down the hallway, she hurried in the other direction.

ooo

If anyone was even more dramatic then Kylo, it was of course his master. Snoke was currently about sixty foot tall and looking down to them like the overlord of the most powerful military force in the Galaxy that he was. There was no need for him to give neck aches to his subordinates, but that didn't mean that he couldn't do it.

If Kylo was ugly (as he viewed himself), Supreme Leader Snoke was the anti-miss Universe, with a gash in his forehead that was supposed to be a scar (how he could still think properly with such a hole in his skull was a mystery, but maybe that explained why most of his decisions weren't very nice), his cheek had been burned, leaving more holes on the side of his mouth… but his terrible skin condition was due to his hopeless addiction to nicotinettes, something that wasn't a cigarette.

If Jedies padawans loved their maters, Sith were glad to hate each other (even if for some weak soul it was hard to hate the person that cared for them day after day, taught them great lessons about life and watched over them like a guardian angel), and Kylo was no exception. He was glad that his master had such a scarred figure. Good for him. Now he was certain that the only persons that was going to sleep with him until the end of his days were whores, and richly paid ones at that. Not that the Supreme Leader didn't have money to spare for his evening pleasures (and this time they weren't about music). He was also glad that he had severe breathing problem and that his voice had been made raspy from years and years of smoking.

And he definitely was glad he wasn't here to kick his ass in person.

Kylo had messed up big time and he knew it. By bringing a girl and not the actual map back, he had compromised the operation and was now risking to see the Resistance get to Luke Skywalker before them, which was pretty bad. Once united with the banished Jedi, they finally had an ally able to stand against their greatest warriors – warriors that included Kylo, but barely, to his greatest dismay.

"So the girl has seen the map," repeated Snoke casually.

"Yes master," he answered in a hurried voice.

"And you hope to get the missing piece from her mind, so that you can find Luke Skywalker."

"Yes master."

"So. Explain why you don't have anything yet."

He licked his lips under his mask, before reaching up and taking it out. What he was about to say was really crucial. It had been an idea that had formed in his mind when he had felt his master calling for him, something grand and convenient that fitted his desires for the girl (his desires of _controlling_ her, of course, what else?)

"She is strong in the Force. Taking the information from her isn't easy." He paused, but interrupted the Supreme Leader before he could formulate a protest. "She has light in her, but she could be turned. I have seen fear and doubt in her heart. She would be a powerful ally and–"

Kylo stopped mid-sentence, sensing that the General Hux had entered the room. He didn't want the man to see him asking for a favor, or wanted him to knew that there was something more to the scavenger – his scavenger – until he couldn't snatch her from under his nose. She was a prisoner on Starkiller, and Starkiller was ultimately under the General'scommand, while the Sith only supervised. He was the one that had the most authority around, because he was the one with the army of Stormtroopers and officers that followed him like little duckings. Taking anything from Kylo wasn't a problem, unless the girl had been placed explicitly under the Dark Jedi's care by Supreme Leader Snoke himself.

And that had to wait.

"My Lord," said Hux while he walked up to the bottom of the massive throne, ignoring the apprentice that had been there before him. "We are ready to fire, only waiting for your instructions."

"Very good… Do we have any more information on the possible location of the Resistance?"

"Yes. They have been located on D'Qar. We were expecting to fire them once the Republic was out of the way."

"Good." The giant figure laid back in its chair, nodding slowly. "Very good… soon, the enemies of the First Order will be vanquished..."

Kylo felt a wave of jealousy overtake him. He throws a glare to the man standing next to him, who met with an indifferent face but a hint of amusement in the eye. The rivalry between the two was an unspoken subject, but a hot one.

"There has been an awakening in the force… Have you sensed it?" Asked the Supreme Leader, bending over to his loyal subjects ever so slightly.

Kylo didn't reply, but he was stuck by the coincidence. The girl's finding, her aura full of light, the very fact that he had been unable to master her… It all made sense now. She had been the awakening they had both felt, his master and he. He didn't need to reply. When he lifted his eyes towards his master, it was all in his eyes.

"Bring the girl before me," ordered the massive figure, before turning his head to Hux. "Destroy the Resistance."

"It shall be done as you wish, my Lord."

"Yes, master."

The hologram flickered and disappeared, leaving only thin air behind. Both men threw each other a glance, before departing together without a word. After having secured hisface behind under his helmet, Kylo took the lead and walked away faster then necessary. He was eager to see the scavenger girl again to get her ready for departure, and there was probably the need to appoint a quick ship for transporting. Maybe if she had some sort of restraints, his ship would do despite the lack of sitting space. Even if that meant having to keep a close eye on her…

(Scratch that. Specially if that meant if he had to keep a close eye on her. Yup, his personal ship was the definite pick. Maybe she would even have to stay on his lap, with a little luck?)

As he hurried though the corridors, bumping passer-by with his massive shoulders (without even saying sorry, of course), his thoughts drifted to the girl herself. She was pretty. That was for sure. Did that mean that he was attracted to her? No! Not at all. He was only interested in her because she held information and because she was fascinating on the Force level. Nothing more.

(Or so he kept trying to convince himself.)

He arrived upon the interrogation room. For some reason, he paused. His palms were sweaty in his gloves and he was suddenly worried about how he looked, so he straightened his clothes and briefly dusted them (for a second, he had the strange idea that there was chocolate powder on them, a ridiculous idea he soon forgot). If he didn't know better, he would have said that he was nervous to see her again, which he wasn't, of course.

The door opened and he stepped inside, trying to look casually menacing, but soon dropped the attitude when he saw who was waiting for him. Which was no one. He sprung forth and turned the chair around with all his strength. Gone. She was gone!

 _They is bound to be an explanation…_ tried to argue the only small rational part of his brain. As usual, it was ignored.

He pulled out his saber laser.

ooo

DA-5732 and DA-5733 were the best friends _ever._ They had met, once upon a time, in the magical place that some refer to as the Stormtrooper brainwashing program, but that was really pretty fun to be at. Once they came out of it, they weren't at all worried about slaughtering innocent people anymore! It even looked pretty fun and harmless. If they killed enough enemies of the First Order, they would even get a medal, and medals were _shiny_.

They were discussing in hushed tones about how hot Supreme Leader Snoke was (a side effect of the brainwashing that technicians were having trouble explaining but pretty convenient: all leaders became extremely hot and attractive to all Stormtroopers) and were comparing their own two fanfics about him. One was an Alternative Universe were Snoke was a Incubi, a sex demon, that preyed on an innocent Original Character, a bookworm called Daisy and that nobody had considered attractive enough for breeding material until the day of her twenty first birthday and that for some reason Snoke couldn't get his mind (and hands) off her. The other, the one written by DA-5732, was about herself, cleverly disguised under the name Diamond, meeting by accident Supreme Leader Snoke as he was walking his pet rathtar and their unmistakable love at first sight.

Despite their excitement, they were careful to keep their tone low, because enemies were everywhere. The greatest threat to their Snoke worshipping was the Kyhux clan, the ones that constantly argued that any romance between Kylo Ren and General Hux was ten thousand times better then anything that included supreme leader Snoke, and that it was obvious that they were already secretly in a couple.

Actually, great news had shook the Starkiller shipping community recently: a photo, taken by an anonymous person, showed Kylo, asleep, with a random girl on his lap. Many argued that the picture had been photoshopped, specially the Kyhux clan, that any evidence that Kylo was straight was a thorn in the ankle of their ship, but DA-5732 and DA-5733 were strongly convinced that it couldn't be a prank. Theories about who was the mysterious girl were raging, each more absurd then the other. DA-5733's favorite was that the girl was actually a treat Kylo was getting for Snoke, and that right now she was preparing to become one of his many concubines (she was convinced that he had at least twelve of them) under the strict direction of his beloved apprentice.

She was actually wondering if that would make a good fanfiction, but she already had her hands full with the one she was currently writing. She was about to ask her friend if it was a good idea to start a second story on the side of her actual one (which was the one with the Alternative Universe) but got interrupted by some strange loud noises down the hall.

They glanced at each other. Was that an intruder? Being the BFF they were, it was not a secret to them that they both felt the same anguish under a layer of excitement. They shared something close to a paranormal telepathic bond from so many nights of sleeping in the same bed (they would alternatively sneak out to the other one's room), sitting so many hours next to each other and sharing so many lunches. They were practically sisters. They even knew what the one one looked like under they helmet.

So they cautiously approached the source of the noise. It was coming out of the door of an open room, along with sparks. Worry knotted their stomachs as they slowly got closer…

Suddenly, DA-5732 grabbed her bestie's arm and their eyes met. That was the moment where they both knew what was going down. A new wave of sparks came flying out of the door, but they were now turning heels and walking down the hallway.

That was why they were shipping Snoke and not Kylo: he was immature and scary at the same time. Plus, he was never taking out his mask: how could anyone agree on how good looking he was?

ooo

 **Oh no! I can't think about anything to say! Better talk about it.**

 **No, seriously, I'm glad I'm done. Coming up will be a little more Rey action! (Get it? Rey-action. Like, Rey getting a Rey-action from Kylo!)**

 **(Sorry.)**


	8. Starkiller Has Talent

Finn was feeling devastated. It was the only word for what was inside him at the moment.

Fist of all, he had lost Poe. Poe, the guy that had taken him away from the Finalizer, the guy that had almost drove him to safety (after all, he had been only a day away at walking distance from the town, so that was pretty close considering how huge an actual planet was) and the guy who had left him, heartbreakingly enough, only his dumb jacket. Finn hated this jacket, it was old and cheesy and it smelled so strongly of his fallen friend that he was sure that Poe had been wearing it all the time, but it was the only souvenir he had left of the pilot. His friend.

Then, as if he already wasn't heartbroken enough at the thought that the person who had given him his actual name was dead, he had seen Rey being carried off. Rey, the beautiful desert girl that looked so frail but that was so strong. In the short time he had known her – from the very second he had seen her take on these two henchmen back in the settlement – he had admired her, how she stood up without fear against danger, how she had survived alone on this planet and had waited for someone – she had refused to say who – to come back for her.

And by who?

By Kylo Ren himself.

Finn had heard of Kylo many times, for there were many rumors about him. Considering them as the usual blabbers the followers had about their leaders, he hadn't paid attention to them (especially the trashy ones about Hux and him getting it on together, they were as ridiculous as all the Snokes fans), but now, he was starting to worry about them.

What to think of the time he had heard that Kylo was in fact a blood sucking beast that concealed his monstrous appearance under a much needed mask? That what he hid under it was in fact more terrifying then any sane Stormtrooper's worse nightmare? That he enjoyed inflicting pain and humiliating his victims? That he loved cats because he could see himself in them as they hunted down their powerless preys? That his cries of doom could be heard as he enjoyed the contact of warm water?

If any of those rumors were true, Finn was sure that Rey wasn't about to make it alive out of the Starkiller base. In fact, he was very sure that she was going to die a very painful death and that her body would be shoved into one of the compressors he had, once upon a time, been in charge of cleaning.

Now he wanted to throw up. Sometimes, Finn's imagination was a little too… precise.

Solo had told him that he was free to wander around while he had things to discuss with General Organa (he had taken a very serious tone while mentioning her, a sign that it probably was an important matter), and he wasn't about to let the invitation pass. Walking in the open air was always a relief to him – that was why he hated the Finalizer so much and preferred the Starkiller base. Maybe, just maybe, if he would have been able to take a walk after that fatal night, not so long ago and yet so far away, he wouldn't have taken the irrational decision to 'do what he felt right' and save Poe. Then, he wouldn't be stuck with that terrible jacket and that weight upon his soul.

He hoped that Rey wouldn't come and haunt him too. For a second, when he had seen the way one of the pilot of the Resistance was flying, he had thought that it was Poe up there and had cried in joy, but when he had thought about the possibility later, his soul had come crushing down and back in depression. Poe was dead…

Poe was dead.

Poe was dead.

Poe was… coming down from his ship, giving him a million dollar smile.

"Poe!" Cried the Stormtrooper, running to him. He couldn't believe it.

"Hey," said the pilot.

The ex-Stormtrooper came to a halt in front of him, wandering if he wanted to smack him or kiss him most. Both sounded ridiculous, but he really needed to vent out his anguish somehow. He was starting to decide for the hit when, luckily for him, Poe spoke up.

"I thought you were dead." His tone was light, but the seriousness under it was still tangible.

"I… me too." Okay, great. Now the Stormtrooper wanted to cry. What was with the feels all of a sudden? He had the impression that he was being tossed all over the place and he didn't like it. As a soldier, he preferred situations were someone sensible was in charge and right now his feelings were far from anything reasonable. Something, anything, had to distract him now.

"The jacket!" He said, reaching up to take it out. "Its yours."

Poe was faster to grab it. For some reason, Finn didn't risk touching his hand and left his own one in mid-air. The pilot looked thoughtful for a second, before letting a glowing smile on his face. "Keep it. It suits you."

What? But it was a terrible jacket! It was old, unstylish and it smelled like him! He couldn't _keep_ it!

So why in the world was they that stupid smile on his face? Hello! He had been about to smack him for letting him believe that he was dead? Hadn't that been a good idea? Why not anymore? Got away, stupid happiness!

"Thanks," Finn's lips said. Against his own will. Apparently, there was some strange force pushing him to be nice to that idiot, so be it. Next time, he was definitely giving his jacket back.

ooo

She was quietly walking though the hallways, focusing on all the possible threats she could sense. Stormtroopers were the most common and hence the easiest ones to identify. The various staff and technicians walking around weren't a problem either, but she did have more trouble with the robots. Thankfully, most of them were quite noisy for the dead silence of the ship.

But her greatest dread was to find herself face to face with Kylo Ren himself. What would he do? Would he lash out and attack her? Would he try to subdue her to his will? Knock her unconscious? She certainly didn't want to find out, not now, not ever. So she was keeping on her toes and all her senses open.

Luckily her scavenger skills were coming in more then handy. Apparently, the First Order had kept the exact same logic in constructing their ships then the Empire had, and she certainly knew how to navigate around their ships. Okay, they had been a few miscalculation, such as the time where she entered a (hopefully empty) male's restroom while she was on a search for toilets.

She had used it because when you got to go you got to go, but as she was getting ready to come out of one of the stalls she had been blocked by the arrival of several loud Stormtroopers. Her heart had started to go wild in her chest as she had listened to their lousy comments about a certain Dan seeing a certain secretary (they insisted a lot on how huge her tits were but hadn't mentioned her name). She had climbed on the side of the toilet seat and had prayed that no one would ever suspect her existence. Everything but being captured _here_. Just imagining the scene where the soldiers would explain to Kylo that he had found her spying on men in the men's toilet was making her face beat red in humiliation.

Once the men had left without even noticing that one stall had been kept locked the whole time, she had sworn that, from this day on, no circumstances would ever make her use the male restroom _ever_ again, even if the fate of her pants depended on it.

She was currently going down what seem a completely identical corridor to all the corridors she had seen until now, when she heard voices. Immediately, she hurried forth, trying to get away from the Stormtrooper she hadn't seen in time and desperate for an issue.

"Hey!" Called a voice behind her. "Halt! You are wearing a non-conventional uniform!" Suddenly ordered a voice behind her. She didn't even pause to look over her shoulder, her legs started to run on their own. She opened the first door she saw on her way and slammed it behind her.

She found herself in a strange place, a dimly lit interior with various containers laying around and… Stormtroopers everywhere. It seemed like some sort of changing room, because some of them were clearly in costumes.

They all looked her way.

She didn't give herself the time to freeze in terror. If she was going down, it wasn't without a fight. She rushed to a near soldier that only had a flimsy costume on and a bar in his hand (but still his helmet) and she tore his weapon from him before charging though the crowd into some curtains that seemed to lead to an opening…

She ignored the "Hey, my pole dance bar!" Behind her. She soon had other concerns on her mind anyway.

Because here stood Kylo Ren.

He wasn't trying to hide, he was even standing in plain sight on a large open space. Right away, all her focus was on him, and him only. He didn't seem like his saber laser was anywhere near him, so it was her chance! Now or never!

She rushed to him and made her weapon swing. He barely jumped to the side to escape her attack, but she didn't give him the time to recuperate and she was already attacking him again. He must have been really caught off guard to see her here (he was the one who was supposed to find and attack her, not Rey) because he didn't draw his weapon and only ran away from her. That made her confidence kick back in and she even tried taunting, something she had dreamed doing back in the forest when he had captured her.

"Face me, Kylo! Don't turn away!"

He didn't respond to her and tried quite ridiculously on his costume, squashing himself on the ground in his panic. Escaping a close hit when she aimed for his head, he managed to jump away and into the shadows. She was going to rush after him when she heard a crowd laugh in the darkness. Surprised, she froze on the scene, and the audience made a standing ovation.

ooo

Captain Phasma was seriously starting to regret to have agreed being a judge at that silly competition. It wasn't like she had had a choice in the matter, she was a role figure of the propaganda in the First Order's army and a celebrity of her own. Not only did she have that recognizable armor and the 'natural authority of leaders' (as she was described in the official flyer for First Order army appliance, even if said authority tended to disappear once she was in the presence of pizza), but she also was the loving mother of three children (already registered for the Junior Stormtrooper program) and the diligent wife of mister Phasma, head of the information and image management of the First Order (otherwise known as the propaganda service).

So the most popular show on Starkiller base couldn't possibly go on without her in it and there were some up sides to being stuck with a lousy crowd and two other idiot judges for two hours straight every week. It wasn't like her role was very complicated.

All she had to do was to look at members of the base come on scene and present their special talent. Everything was accepted, as long as it was interesting to look at and not too ridiculous. If she didn't like it, all she had too do is press a button during the performance, and if the two other appointed judges pressed their own buzzer the show stopped and the candidate was immediately eliminated. If the challenger did make it to the end, the judges were to make evaluate the show and say if he or she was permitted to come back in the semi-finals.

That show was _Starkiller has talent_.

The performance that was making her seriously regret that she was here was an awful imitation of Kylo Ren himself. She was glad for the poor contestant that the apprentice wasn't into watching 'such brain-numbing idiocies' (as he had named it himself) and would hence never know that someone was mocking him (even if the imitation was supposed to be flattering, as far as she could tell.

Basically, the candidate was walking around the scene, trying to take that casually menacing air the Dark Knight seemed to pull out so effortlessly, but was failing because he didn't even look like him. Yes, his costume was decent enough, but Kylo was supposed to be massive, a barely repressed bulldog clad in dark material that always seemed to be ready to lunge at anything that displeased him, and the candidate… wasn't. If he would have been a Stormtrooper and would have had a training program, he would have stood a chance, but apparently it was a technician dreaming of a better future with the prize money at the end of the show.

Her hand was slowly making its way to the buzzer when something totally unexpected happened.

Out of _no where_ , a girl jumped out on the scene, armed with a metal bar, and ran straight to the man in black. She swung her weapon at the candidate that barely had the time to dodge, before the most unlikely chase happen in front of her eyes. For the first time in her life, she saw Kylo Ren (even if she knew it was only an imitation) running away and tripping, as a random _girl_ ran after him with the need to kill him once and for all.

When the poor candidate finally took refuge among the rank of the public, the crowd bursted in laughter and started to applause the entry of the new girl. She froze in the middle of the scene, confused, and blinked into the bright lights to be able to tell who was greeting her so.

Phasma had already seen her somewhere. Now, if that wasn't a surprise celebrity guest, she didn't know what was. So, always the one to walk into the spotlight, she got up and marched to the scene. On the way, she grabbed a micro (the one of the MC, but she didn't care). If this episode of _Starkiller has talent_ was going to be historic, she was going to be part of it.

When she stepped in the light, she received a second ovation and she saluted her public. She knew how to handle the fame and the glory from year of cadets encouragement speeches. She then turned to the girl, that only seemed to look more and more confused. Not that it was very important right now because Captain Phasma had to meet her in person at all costs. She was way to curious about her.

"Hello! What is your name?" She asked, her voice echoing in the speakers all over the room. As she said that, she placed the micro under the nose of the girl.

"Uh… my name is Rey?" She cautiously replied.

"Hello Rey, everybody welcome Rey!" The room exploded in cheers, whistles and exited screams. "Rey, I am so glad that you are here on _Starkiller has talent_ , the most watched show on the Stakiller base! How do you feel about it?"

From the side of the scene came the security. Phasma suddenly understood what was really happening here: the girl wasn't supposed to have made an appearance and was a disruption in the show… But she didn't seem like a threat and the public loved her, so the captain dismissed the guards with a simple gesture.

Rey hadn't seen any of it. "Good, I guess? I… I am not used to these kind of things…"

"It is true that you have only become famous here pretty recently, with that picture of you and Kylo Ren himself," said Phasma in a cheerful voice. That girl had quite literally stole the whole show but it was worth it. The entire Starkiller base was suspended to her lips.

"What picture?" She innocently asked.

Phasma made a sigh at the guys in charge of the lights and the animation and they projected the famous picture. Rey turned around only to be confronted by the vision of her laying over her nemesis' lap, safely secured in his arms as his own head was also laid back. Both of them appeared to be sleeping, even if it was hard to tell for Kylo because of his mask.

She stubbled back and almost fell on her butt in surprise. "He's doing that in my sleep?!"

Phasma followed her with the micro. "So you confirm that it is a true picture?" She asked. She knew that she was going to be in so much trouble when the apprentice was going to hear of that, but it was worth every second of it.

"I don't know, I was sleeping, but..." She paused at that moment. Apparently, none of the people here knew that she was wanted, so it was time to play her cards right. Like negotiation for water. She had to guess what they all wanted to hear (something she was really good at).

She calmed herself and entered the character they wanted her to play. Since the reading of the crowd was pretty confusing – she wasn't used to be the center of attention of so many people – she focused on the woman in a shiny Stromtrooper armor next to her and gave her a big smile.

"Well, I guess it is a true picture. I had been sleeping, so I don't remember what happened at that moment." She willed herself to breath calmly, and looked up at the screen once more. She looked so frail and delicate, in his massive arms, that it was almost a sex– No! No, it was creepy! Very creepy of him! Nothing sexy here!

The crowd cheered, indicating that she had given a correct answer.

"May I ask you a few personal questions?" Asked the woman once something close to silence had come back.

"Yes?" Replied Rey.

"What are your connection to Kylo Ren?"

Ray gave herself a while to consider what was the best course of action here. She obviously couldn't say that she was his prisoner, unless she wanted to go straight back in the Dark Knight's arms (or rather, his interrogatory room), so she had to resort on what the crowd wanted to here. She looked up at the screen one last time, then to the woman, and knew what was the perfect answer. It was embarrassing, yes, but she didn't have any more time to think of an other option.

"I am his fiancee."

The audience bursted in hoorays, and every single girl erupted in excited squeals. The whole thing took a long moment to calm down and even Rey couldn't help but being infected by the excitement and she started to smile from ear to ear, as if she really was glad that she was married to a murderer and a creepy guy.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" Phasma was preparing her next question. She too, was only saying what the crowd wanted to hear, and the crowd wanted to hear juicy details. So she went for the big ones. "Have you seen under his mask?"

"He's really good looking!" Blurted Rey. Upon realizing that she had made her most embarrassing statement yet, she blushed and hid her face in her hands. The crowd laughed at her shyness and a few 'aww' could be heard among the high-pitched screams of fans.

Phasma was smiling like a madwoman under her mask. That girl was absolutely adorable. A little young, maybe, to handle someone as unstable as Kylo Ren, but maybe there was a softer side to him that everyone ignored? If anything, she had some skills white stick fighting, that much was clear from the way she had handled the poor imitation of Kylo Ren. He hadn't made an appearance yet after being chased away, so it was best that he stayed forgotten.

"Captain Phasma," buzzed her earplug under her mask. "You're doing awesome, as always, but we got a time to hold!" That was the manager of the show talking to her, making her understand that she had messed around enough.

"All right, enough of that, the show must go on! It was a great pleasure to meet you, miss Rey, and before you go, I got a present for you!" She pulled her to the edge of the scene and left her to hurry in her office. A cameraman followed her as she went all the way to her lodge and came back with a piece of paper that she handed to Rey. "Here, a souvenir! Everyone gives a cheer for Rey!"

The crowd exploded one last time and Phasma ushered the girl to the edge of the scene, discreetly showing her the way out. She smiled and nodded to the woman, that nodded back and turned around to get back to her spot.

Rey didn't wait to be asked twice. She hurried to the exit (she barely took the time to give the pole dancing Stormtrooper his bar) and walked out, her legs like jelly and her heart pounding like mad in her chest. Luckily for her, there was no one in the hallway to see her take her breath and rest against the wall.

Once she was calm enough, she raised the offering of captain Phasma and took a look at it. I was the infamous picture of her and Kylo. For some reason, she smiled at it and tucked it (an old scavenger habit) in her bra, instead of directly throwing it away with a feeling of disgust.

Okay, she admitted it. It may be creepy, but it was a cute sort of creepy.

ooo

 **Heyo ! So, an other chapter is out! Yay!**

 **Last time, I didn't have much to say in the author's note… But then, I realized right after posting it that I had missed the perfect bonus. So it will be coming now.**

 **But first, listen carefully. If you are sharp enough, maybe you will hear J.J.'s cry of anguish as he discovers the Stormpilot tag on tumblr. (Despite all the hints that can argue that there are possible feeling between them in the movie, I still feel that they weren't intentional at all… I also think that bringing gay romance to a blockbuster like Star Wars, especially for Geegee, who is trying to establish himself as the successor of Lucas, is a little risky. Although it would be the second most awesome thing ever to happen in VIII and IX – the first one being Reylo of course.)**

 **(Bonus)**

 **The Supreme Leader Snoke Fell In Love With Me! (First chapter of DA-5732 fanfiction)**

 **The sound of the Stromtrooper's alarm woke me up and I grunted loudly. I got up and wore my black under-suit, my white boots, my white pants and my white armor and I looked in the mirror. I am not very pretty, I only have blue eyes and long wavy blue hair with a C-cup. I wore my helmet and headed out of my room. The job was annoying, so I took a walk in the park. In the park, there was a Rathtar and his master, but I didn't take the time to look at the master I only saw the Rathtar so I hid in the bushes because I didn't want to be eaten by the Rathtar. The Rathtar sniffed me out and he grunted, and the master of the Rathtar came in the bushes too and spread the branches to see me and it was the Supreme Leader Snoke! "Hey are you okay" he said "Yes I am okay I was just scared" I said "Sorry I haven't meant to scare you" he said "It's okay I am all better now" I said. I came out of the bushes and he looked at me with his hansom blue/grey eyes I though my heart was going to burst his gaze was so intense. "I think that I am in love with you its love at first sight" he said "Oh okay" I said "What is your name" he said "Diamond" I said "It is a very pretty name" he said "Oh okay" I said. Then his Rathtar ate somebody when he wasn't looking and we had to go to the hospital. Once in the hospital he followed me to the toilet and we had hot sex in the toilet and then he looked at me very seriously. "Will you marry me" he said "Oh okay" I said.**

 **Comments:**

 **Daisy-is-awesome: "OMG it's so beautiful snoke is so hot and you have such good plot girl I love your my bfflad pls write some more! XOXOXOX"**

 **Kyhux-Rules: "I don't like it kylo is not here where is kylo he is always with his master but the writing is good"**

 **FAB: "Pls read my story its about a rathtar that have sex with a girl its very hot thx"**

 **THE END**


	9. Of a Hug (And Being Good Looking)

For the first time in his life, Finn felt recognized as an individual and not as a part of an anonymous mass. True, he had given away all what he had been working for his whole life, but deep down, he knew that it was right. People may die, but more of them were bad people, right ?

He didn't want to think of it much. He had revealed the structure of Starkiller to the Resistance and was about to get on the _Millenium Falcon_ 's broad with Han Solo and Chewbacca to find a way to lower the shields. Then the Resistance could attack the Stabilizer. That was the only job left, but it was a crucial one. It felt weird to be important for the first time. His old Stormtrooper conditioning was coming back, telling him that sticking out of the norms was bad and that he should leave important jobs to other ones then himself, or else.

 _But I am the best one for the job,_ he reasoned.

All theses thoughts had latched on him as he had walked away from the reunion. People were hurrying around him, doing this and that in preparation of the close departure for battle. Finn moved thought them on autopilot – that was why he walked straight into a hard chest.

Actually, he was the one who sent the other back (all those years training had been a pain, but they also meant that he had some serious muscle mass to ground him). The ex-Stormtrooper lifted his head, and was surprised to see that it had been Poe himself that had voluntarily stepped in his way.

Good! That was the perfect moment to give him back that jacket.

"Hey," said the pilot with the same smile as always, that million dollar one that slightly crooked to the side when he spoke. "Nice one back there. You're pretty good."

"Uhh thanks," cutFinn, lifting his hand to his collar. Now, how could he ask that? He didn't want to be rude either…

"You're really beautiful," suddenly said Poe. "The way you talk."

"Yeah yeah," responded the former soldier, before registering what had been said. His brain froze, his words got horribly mixed up in his mouth and he eventually blurted something completely random. "But I have your jacket!"

At first, the man looked puzzled by his statement, then hurt made its way on his face. "You don't like my jacket?"

"No! No I don't! I mean, I do!" Finn was grateful for his skin color, because he could feel his cheeks burn in embarrassment. What in the world was wrong with him? He never got himself mixed up like that! True, Finn was an awkward person at his best and a walking disaster magnet at his worse, but he rarely caused it himself like that.

And why the hell did he have the impression he was about to have a heart attack?

"Finn? Are you all right?" Asked the pilot.

"I'm fine… no, no I'm not! I think I am sick! Very sick!" The situation was getting worse and worse by the second, but somehow the part of his brain that could have stopped it with reasonable thinking was paralyzed and could only watch what was happening.

"What? How do you feel? You want me to get you to the doctor? Are your nervous?" Poe looked confused, but truly concerned by the state of his friend. He reached out and grabbed his arm in a friendly way…

… And sent every inner alarm of the former Stormtrooper blaring. "Body contact!" He cried, before smacking the hand away.

"What the– What is the matter, Finn?"

"Not in the directives!" Without giving any other information, Finn turned around and ran for his life the other way. He felt like every person in the whole underground room was now looking at what made all the ruckus (him, all by himself).

Unluckily for him, he didn't make it very far. BB-8 rolled out of some dark corner right in front of him and he tripped over the droid, successfully flattening himself on the ground like a lame looser. He didn't even try to get up after, he just laid in his own misery and bathed in how humiliated he was by his own behavior. And he had only started to feel good about himself about how he was acting as an individual!

Poe ran up to him and crouched next to him. "What was that about? I only said that you were beautiful," he said, obvious to the fact that there was now a small crowd gathering around them and that they all could hear what he had just said oh-so-perfectly.

Poe helped him up (or rather, forced him up since the former Stormtrooper only wanted to lay on the ground until people forgot about him and started to use him as a rug) and brought him to a chair so that he could sit.

"Hey, talk to me. What is wrong?"

Finn took a long breath in. "Sorry..."

"What? Sorry about what? You're not making any sense."

"It's just that… body contact is forbidden among Stormtrooper. We are permitted to touch each other's uniform, but that's about it. I was just… surprised." Of course, Finn didn't mention the part about the strange compliment and the hard pounding those simple words had created in his chest. It wasn't that important, right?

"Oh, I see."

And, just like that, the man hugged him.

That didn't help Finn. That didn't help Finn at all. "Sweet mother of Snoke! What the hell?" He cried. But for some reason, he didn't push Poe away.

"I'm hugging you," said the pilot, unaware of how obvious his statement was.

That's when General Leia Organa chose to come and check what was all the ruckus about. "What is happening here?" She asked, trying a little to hard to not sound puzzled.

"Finn needs to get used to body contact," answered Poe, still hugging the Stormtrooper.

"No I don't!"

"That's enough, Daemon. We have a base to destroy and Finn has shields to disable. Now is not the time to improvise a reinsertion program for Finn."

Reluctantly, the pilot freed the former soldier and backed up. Finn nodded to the general as a thank you and hurried outside.

ooo

Kylo was in the mood to blast someone. Or, in his case, to slice some limbs, and urge he felt from time to time and that must be coming from his mother's side.

The girl couldn't be that far. She was a drop lost in the middle of an enemy fighting station, she was bound to attract attention and get captured once more by some random Stormtrooper. The capture would be reported to Hux, and since the man had been standing there when the Supreme Leader had given Kylo the girl's responsibility, it would be his duty to return her to her rightful owner.

So why had he still not heard anything from her yet?

"KYLO REN!" Yelled a familiar voice.

The head of the Knights of Ren turned around and spotted Hux walking to him with big steps and red with anger.

The General didn't get angry very often, for the excellent reason that it didn't suit him. Being a ginger, his skin had a distinctive tendency to get red, from sun and form strong emotions alike. And right now, he looked like a tomato sitting on a dark uniform.

Kylo had to voluntarily force himself to not cringe. He had met the man for the first time when he was fourteen and that first impression had been so strong that it had left a deep mark in him. One of the few things Kylo was grateful for (and he didn't like feeling grateful because that was a feeling that clearly belonged to the light) was that Hux wasn't Force-sensitive. He would have been among the most dangerous living Sith if he had been. Hell, he was dangerous enough like that.

"YOU TURNED OFF YOUR EARPHONE! AGAIN!"

Oh, right. Well, in fact, it turned out that he hadn't bothered putting it on again. That happened too many times for Hux to be happy about it. Kylo usually secretly rejoiced in pruposefully forgetting to put them on, but that was only when he wasn't caught doing so. He hated the idea that he could be summoned like a good dog by the general whenever the latter felt like it.

The smaller man came to a halt in front of him and poked him in the chest.

"I HAVE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?" Even if the puffed up angry red General was a foot away, he still felt the urge to scream at him. Snoke's apprentice winced a little under his mask. Why had he never thought of making that thing soundproof?

"Well, I–"

"DON'T SAY ANYTHING!" Hux reached up and grabbed his hair, pulling it and successfully running his haircut. "You just have _no idea_ what just happened, do you?"

"No, but–"

"YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY AND YOU HAVEN'T TOLD _ME_ A THING YET? I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO INTERROGATE THE FUCKING GIRL, NOT… Oh sweet-Snoke no, Kylo, DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU DID?"

"Marry? But–"

"And NOW, it's ALL OVER THE TELEVISION! I hope for you that you didn't… OH NO, DID YOU FUCK HER TOO? IS SHE PREGNANT YET?"

"What?" Kylo would have Force-choked the air out of the General by now if he wasn't so confused. Clearly, the man was freaking out about something he had done, but he had no idea what and that was worrying. "But I haven't fucked anyone in the last–"

"You have RUINED the purity of Starkiller! RUINED! SHE WILL NEVER _EVER_ BE THE SAME ANYMORE! YOU _MONSTER_!"

That was when the escort of the General caught up to them, out of breath. They didn't approach thought, sensing that it wasn't a wise thing to do. Too bad. Kylo could have grabbed one to knock on the General's head, if only to knock some sense into him.

"SUPREM LEADER SNOKE WILL HEAR OF THIS! I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF HE ALREADY KNEW! AND IF HE DOESN'T, I WILL _PERSON–"_

He couldn't hold it anymore. Lifting a hand to Hux's throat, he muted him completely. The man kept moving his lips in emptiness for a while before realizing that he wasn't making a sound, but when he understood that it was Kylo's fault the latter had to use the Force once more to pin him down and prevent him for gutting him with his bare hands.

Eventually, the mad ginger calmed down enough to listen to what the Dark Knight had to say.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." That last sentence came out surprisingly calm for the unstable knight of Ren. But everyone knew it was only the eery stillness before the thunderstorm.

Hux placed his hands on his hips, glared, and Kylo took it a signal to free his voice once more. "About one half an hour ago, your little scavenger made an apparition _on the television,_ while she was supposed to be under _your_ watch. She charemed the audience all right – by stating that she was your fiancee and that she thought you were good looking."

"WHAT?" Kylo's hand twitched, eager to get under his clothes and grab his lightsaber, but he resisted.

"So, she lied?" Hux's face seemed to get a shade less red as A New Hope filled him.

"She said I was _good looking_?"

"It that the _only thing_ you heard?"

ooo

 **I promise that I had intended the dialogue between Hux and Kylo to be serious. At first, I was all like 'yeah, I need to show that the relationship between the two is more complex then it would seem, that would make for some good character development', but then… Hux started to freak out.**

 **And then I couldn't resist.**

 **On a more serious note, I was walking around the internet, and it really looks like the Reylo hate is a thing, or rather, that posting against Reylo hate is a thing. I didn't stumble apon anyone going against that ship yet, luckily for me, but I am getting a little worried that they are just waiting around the corner.**

 **Or maybe its just me getting worried for nothing?**


	10. Cats Are Evil

"So, uh, do you hug each other a lot among the Resistance?" Asked Finn from the back seat of the _Millennium Falcon's_ cockpit.

Han and Chewbacca exchanged worried glances. In the short time they had known the former soldier, they had learned that he tended to worry a lot – mostly about ridiculous things. The only reason Finn had never started the nasty habit of nibbling on his nails was that his uniform didn't permit such a thing. Instead, it had been the micro inside his helmet that had suffered the damage, requiring a total of thirty two replacements in the time where he had served the First Order. Adding to his clumsiness, the deserter made for an interesting trip companion. Not that he wasn't lovable, far from it.

"Who hugged you, Finn?" Asked Han, not even bothering to look back.

"No one," lied the former soldier.

" _Poe did,_ " howled Chewbacca.

"Oh, did he?" Asked Han, still focused on getting the ship out of the sub-atmosphere.

"What did Chewie say?"

" _Oh so I heard,_ " continued the Wookie in a series of small grunts.

"That 'no one' is short for Poe, apparently," answered Han. "If Chewie heard of it then the whole Resistance did you know."

"Did they?" The former Stormtrooper looked mortified that his little secret was in fact a public subject. "And what else are they saying?"

"Probably not much," replied Han, more to reassure his passenger then as a matter of speaking the truth. The Resistance was a group of cackling hens when they weren't preparing to a fight, and even that didn't remotely slow down the rumors to spread. "Is there anything else to say?"

"No! Not at all!"

" _Poe said that he was beautiful._ "

"Poe says that to every second girl," replied Han.

"Says what?"

" _But Finn is a guy, right?_ "

"Well maybe he wants to try something new?"

"Hey! What are you guys talking about?" Finn was getting worried. He knew the conversation was about him and yet he was missing half of it.

"That Poe is flirting with you."

"He was _flirting?_ But… isn't that reserved for people of opposite genders? We're both guys!" Now the former soldier was truly puzzled.

"Don't pay attention to him, he does that to everyone." Han pushed the ship into hyper-speed and a billion stars swooshed by.

The sight was quite pretty, but Finn's mind was filled with a larger, more disturbing concern. "Does he give his jacket to everyone he… flirts with?"

Han and Chewie exchanged a glance. It was true that the pilot had still not gotten his precious jacket off his friend, as one would have expected him to. The both remembered the time where a girl – Poe's now ex-girlfriend – had tried to make a clothing exchange, swapping his jacket against one of her, that was too large for her. The thing had lead to a real scandal between the two. That bit of leather meant a lot to him, for some reason.

"No," eventually answered Han, "he only lends it to people he considers as _just_ friends."

It was a lie, but there was no need to make the poor boy panic more then necessary before the time was right. He would learn soon enough how intense the pilot could get when it came to courtship and before that they had a full sabotage-and-rescue mission to get on.

Oblivious to it all, Finn sighted in relief and flopped back in his chair. "Thanks Sno– I mean thank the stars that it's nothing serious. It was really bothering me. That would be strange that he would be, you know… er… interested in me. We're both guys, so it would have been weird." He let out a small uncomfortable laugh.

" _Do you think he know what gay means?_ " Asked Chewbacca.

"I would be surprised if they included _that_ in their training program," replied Han.

" _I think so too."_

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Cookies," lied Han once more.

ooo

Rey had done this before. She wasn't particularly proud to admit it, but she had done it. Just not to a Stormtrooper, inside an enemy ship, far from any safe place to escape and any type of rescue.

She crawled under the chair, not letting her objective out of her view for one second but still careful not to alert anyone of the presence. Her heart was beating at a steady pace in her ears, pumping adrenaline in every single one of her vessels. Despite that, her head was cool and she was in perfect control of every single of her movements.

She waited a moment where she was sure no one was looking, to taken in the conversation or in the screen that was broadcasting the last minutes of _Starkiller has talent_ to notice, before grabbing her prize and backing up. She promptly crawled back in the vent and delicately closed it behind her, glad that no one had noticed.

The Stromtrooper patted his empty plate, before looking down with a frown. "Where did my nachos go?"

ooo

[After crash-landing in the forest on the surface of the Starkiller base, Han, Chebacca and Finn infiltrates themselves inside the base and capture Captain Phasma, who had just walked out of the most watched _Starkiller has talent_ episode of all time (and that was on her way to give her congrats to Kylo Ren for having found himself such a lovely little lady). After a short interrogation where Finn gets a little too exited at the idea of finally holding his own superior in his power, she gets tossed in a compactor, supposedly to her death.]

ooo

Paradoxically, it was the events that had let her inside that compactor that were to assure her survival.

It didn't look like it, but FN-2187 was in fact one of the few skilled compactor-repairman on Starkiller base, a miracle considering how clumsy he usually was. Since he was gone, there had been various, rather embarrassing garbage problems around the base and none of them were pretty to talk about, especially since the First Order had the image of an extremely clean and an almost clockwork-like organization. FN-2187's desertion had been a more severe hit then what anyone could have predicted.

But it also was why the compressor they had dumped the captain in was broken. For which she was sure to be very grateful on the moment, but that made her curse the stupid name her ex-Stromtrooper had found, that Finn thing, on the moment, because it stunk very, very badly down there.

Like, someone had tossed in a dead body bad.

(Actually, considering they did have their share of psychos on broad, that was entirely possible. But better not think about that, right?)

So here she was, climbing on a large pile of dirt (and various other things she didn't would have never imagined that she would be climbing one day) back to the opening where she had fallen herself. Luckily for her, it was large enough for her to get in it and climb it (even if she ended several times in the pile of garbage once more).

She eventually made it all the way up, her chest heaving and her armor not so shiny anymore. But she still had a mission to carry on before she could clean herself, and that was to warn the General of the intruders before they could do any further damage then what they had already done. They hadn't said anything to compromising in the time where they had held her against her will… but she was pretty sure that they were preparing the way to an attack on Starkiller's heat oscillator. Once damaged, the uncontrollable energy of a full sun would inevitably blast our and destroy the base from the inside.

That was why she had to warn the General, or, even better, get the shields back up before it was too late.

She was power walking thought the hallways (running was undignified coming from her; she was already covered in… stuff, it was best that she didn't worsen the situation already) when she encountered what would prove to be her greatest foe so far. It moved in quick, precise strides thought the hallways, but when it saw her, as it sensed her hast, it stopped, sat, tilted its head as if it could see her purpose in the universe and was mocking it… before mowing softly.

"Aww, hello kitty…" She cooed as she kneeled to stroke the pet's soft fur. It purred and started to intensively rub its face on her knee, something cat seemed to think was necessary to woo any human they thought was worthy of their volatile attention.

And then she lost track of time.

It was only when a man walked up to her that she rose her head from the furball on the floor in front of her. She realized quite quickly that she knew his face – it was one of the officer that used to follow Hux around like a shadow. She had forgotten his name.

"Uh, sorry, mister..." said the man, "but this is my cat. I lost it. It escaped from my room – again."

She rose to her feet. She was used to people thinking that she was a man, but that had been before she had been made famous by her numerous apparitions in various propaganda spots and famous shows. Surely he would recognize the shiny armor…

A used condom fell at her feet, reminding her that she wasn't that shiny anymore and that she had a mission. Her heart skipped a beat. How long had she been petting the cat?

The man caught his pet with ease, not even acknowledging the animal's hisses or scratches. He then looked up, and felt the urge to justify why his companion seemed like it was hating him. "I really don't know what has gotten into her. Sometimes, I wonder it she isn't the reincarnation of that one Resistance pilot I killed…"

But Phasma wasn't listening to him anymore. She was back on track and no amount of cat cuteness or even kitten would be able to stop her this time.

ooo

Rey almost casually walked in a vast hangar, the taste of the nachos still lingering inside her mouth. She didn't feel so sorry for the soldier she had stole it from (not since her stomach had stopped rumbling). Spotting a few Stormtroopers on fraction, she squashed herself against the wall, her heart pounding and glad she hadn't been spotted.

Since the little incident on the television set she knew that a lot of people would now recognize her and let her pass, but she wasn't that naive. Now that she had made an apparition, she was sure that the order to capture her alive was out and running now that she was a familiar face. She was glad that she had been able to walk away from _Starkiller has talent_ without being captured, but she wished she had never appeared there in the first place.

That was why it was imperative for her to hang low for a while.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps behind her, making freeze. She sensed that it was a fully armed Stormtrooper patrol group and that they were coming her way. For now, she was hidden behind a portion of wall, but she would soon appear in their view and then...

Feeling bold, she stepped out in the hangar once more, to the very limit of a vast empty space, and looked over the edge. To her luck, there was a maintenance ladder that she quickly climbed down. Safely hidden, she was now protected from the sight of the patrol, but not from the ones that guarded a ship fifty meters away. They just needed to turn around and she was bound to attract their attention, hanging from the wall like a bag of potatoes (even if Rey was more of a carrot in her body shape).

But it was clearly her lucky day. She recognized the general structure of the hangar itself, a commonly used one under the Empire. If this was a maintenance ladder, then the technician's door to the entrails of the ship wasn't that far away…

She spotted the lever and puller it, making a piece of the wall slide out like a drawer. She quickly sneaked in the empty space and into the hidden maintenance network only technicians (and scavengers) knew about.

Unknown to her, she had been spotted by the only friendly set of eyes on the whole Starkiller base. Han smiled, Finn was astonished at the sheer level of coincidence that moment required and Chewbacca produced a joyous growl. They had found her, and apparently, she was up and about.

But she hadn't sensed them. She quickly crawled among the wires and various tubes, before arriving to the level of a footbridge lit with red lights and that seemed to snake its way thought all the technology required to run a war.

She descended metal steps and hurried to a door that she was sure would open on a hallway, but stopped and listened for a brief moment if anything was moving on the other side. The safe thing to do would be to stay here and hide a while longer, but that wouldn't get her out of that place. She needed to steal a TIE fighter at all costs and get away as fast as possible from _him_.

On a second thought, she stayed a while longer in the safety of the red lights, and pulled out the picture the woman in shining armor had gave her to take a look at it. It seemed so peaceful. So far from the truth of what was really happening between them. And yet, the more she was looking at it, the more it looked… sweet.

… why in the world was she smiling at a picture of Kylo Ren?

She shoved the photo down her cleavage as if she had been doing something wrong, and quickly walked out the door. On impulse, she took the way on the right. She glanced behind to see if anyone had seen her or was coming after her… and walked straight into Chewbacca.

" _Rey_!" He cheered, hugging her to death. She took a mouthful of fur but had never been so glad in her life for being crushed in a bear hug.

She wobbled a little upon being released but she was caught and straightened by Han, who was clearly used to Chewbacca's antics. "Hey, aren't we glad to see you alive." He had a warm smile as he gently patted her head.

" _Hey, aren't you a fierce little one, following our son home like that?" The man kneeled and patted her head and she gave him a cheeky smile. Upon being discovered, she had expected to be yelled at, but the man was nice and had a warm smile. "You want to come inside for a while?"_

" _Han? What are you doing?" A woman walked out of the house. She had an air of grace to her, and her hair were tied up in twin buns on the side of her head. Rey liked her right away. "Oh, who is that?"_

"Rey! How did you escape?" Asked Finn anxiously.

She made wide eyes upon seeing him. Last time they had met, the former Stormtrooper had been ready to leave everything and go hide at the very edge of the galaxy, as far as he could get from the First Order. She had felt hurt. Even if he had lied to her about being part of the Resistance (which she minded since she had trusted him based on this lie), she had felt even more betrayed by his cowardly move.

And now he was here.

"You're here?" She asked. It was so unbelievable that she poked his cheek.

He slightly winced at that, still not used to direct skin to skin contact, but he managed to smile to her. He was truly glad to see her alive. "Yeah, I came to the rescue."

"You mean, _we_ came to the rescue," corrected Han. "Now let's get out of here, we don't have a lot of time." He pushed them along to make the hurry. Chewbacca followed with a small approving groan.

ooo

 **I love cats. But I am allergic to them.**

 **Trust me on this one. Cats are _evil_. That is _why_ they are greatly attracted to me. Not only can they make my face blow up in the most undignified way (I look up to thirty years older when that happens), but they also psychologically torture me with the idea that I can never hold them or even have a cat pet… long sight, pulls out tissue, starts crying silently.**

 **Why do I even like evil characters so much?**

 **Next chapter is going to be the tenth chapter! Yay! I always feel that when one of my stories enter a double digit number of chapters, it is really important, even if it doesn't mean much at the end of the day.**

 **Beside that, I have been making some intensive research on the different candidates for Rey's father, and I have come up with a surprising conclusion – one that, to me, is not very farfetched, but that I will be keeping a secret because I want to use it in this fanfiction as Rey's backstory.**

 **So, let's first look at the evidence we have. Upon capturing her, Kylo Ren precisely says (about Han Solo) that 'you feel that he is _the father you never had_ ', which indicates that she never knew her real father, but not only that, that it was an evidence around her that her genitor had never been around. Considering that, in the flashback where she is dropped on Jakku, we see that she is quite old (I would venture the age of five to eight years old, my memory of that part of the movie isn't that fresh), she has lived long enough to remember her life prior to her being dropped off. **

**A life without a father.**

 **That points to the possibility that it was her mother that dropped her off, but I am saving that for later. And, by the way, why is everyone always wondering who is Rey's father? That makes no sense on a biological level. Did you know that mitochondria are _directly inherited from the mother and the mother only_? When the ovule meets the sperm cell, the latter _does_ contain some mitochondria, but they are left out of the egg and hence the child will never have any of his father mitochondria. **

**And for all this time you had completely missed out on the fact that Amidala was a freaking power house. Luke and Leia, inheriting their _father's_ powers? Please. Trust me, I am not making theses facts up. They are scientifically proven. **

**So, instead of fighting over Kenobi, Skywalker or Han Solo, you people better open your eyes for a possible Force-sensitive female… apart from Leia, please.**

 **Going any further would be dipping in speculation territory (although I don't make theories without having some good evidence to back them up) but I will be continue to explain my theory as I go on with the story.**

 **Oh, and, spoiler alert: here, Rey and Kylo won't be cousins.**


	11. Watching From Far Away

"… How can you even think that you are going to find her by just walking around and _sensing_ her? That didn't work until now, so why should it suddenly become efficient? How does that work anyway? Do you smell her? Do you see her with some sort of super-vision? You Sith just don't make any freaking sense. If _I_ was Force-sensitive, I would use it for moving things around, not relying on my instincts or something to get things done. The Jedi did so and look what good they got out of it. I would have secretly inserted a tracking chip under her skin, like this, if I lose her, I would be finding her in no time! But no, you got nothing better to do then _not_ follow my specially appointed protocol for prisoners! I wrote that protocol myself for a reason! I even asked Captain Phasma to write a Stormtrooper edition when she would have the time, and she recently confirmed that it was 85% complete. It really isn't that hard to follow? A few rules? Then we can talk. And now, just because you didn't bother following them, we didn't loose one precious prisoner, but _two, mother-of-Snoke fucking prisoners in a fucking row!_ Don't think I forgot about that pilot from the Resistance, oh no, Kylo, because I didn't and you still have to repay me that one! I was going to interrogate him on the headquarters of the Resistance. Can you imagine? I even had a special head-pilot-of-General-Organa torture protocol ready, and YOU RUINED IT! Can you imagine? No you can't! You got all the information _you_ wanted from him, why would you fucking care?"

Clearly, Hux was still pissed off.

Kylo had gave up trying any kind of reasoning with the General, and was now passively enduring his ranting (actually, he wasn't completely passive, if the trail of destroyed consoles and smoking lightsaber burn marks he was leaving in his pass was anything to go by). With the constant stream of words that were flowing from his earphone, it was hard to focus on the flow of the Force, but Kylo had more or less given up finding her by now and was relying on the hundreds of Stormtrooper constantly patrolling the hallways. An order to capture her had been issued to all the soldiers and Hux had been pretty clear that an 'appropriate reward' would be given to anyone capturing her or even giving usable information on her location.

"… what would have done Dan? Dan would have used that chip. You only had to ask for it – oh, but wait, you couldn't, since your earphone was back at your room! What's up with that anyway? Forgetting your earphone? You are a part of this base as much as anyone else, Kylo Ren. I _need to be able to fucking reach you_. Is it really that hard? Do you have to be all so immature? Let me tell you that at your age I was already…"

Suddenly, the Dark Knight sensed something. He stopped in his tracks and focused on the Force. His own emotions were raging inside, making his reading confused, but once he had locked himself on the right frequency there was no possible mistake.

"… and that's how you win a battle! Strategy is important, but if you troops' moral is sweeping the floor there is no reason to even try and fight anymore because no one else will do so. Yes, my methods were a little unusual, but they worked, and that is why Supreme Leader Snoke appointed _me_ , not anyone else – and specially not you, thank Evilness for that – to be General. Do you even see yourself…"

"Han Solo," said Kylo to himself. Dark, cold rage filled him.

"… and they would all say 'a good man need a good wife, mister Hux, there is no denying that', but I don't have time for a woman, I still don't. Besides, I am fine with… Oh shit! Rebel X-Wings! When did our shields go down… CAPTAIN PHASMA? WHAT HAPPENED TO… Urk, don't make the floor dirty, stay by the door. What is that? I looks like… OH YES IT IS! WHO HAD SAFE SEX AROUND HERE? What? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT'S FROM THE GARBAGE? Urk, I can't believe I _touched_ _that_. You! Go incinerate my glove. Right now! And someone send TIE fighters to defend the oscillator! Now, Captain Phasma, I hope you have a serious explanation for your little garbage trip, because you better have a good one. No! I don't want to hear it now, can't you see I'm busy?"

"Hux," called Kylo.

"Oh yes, here are the fighters. Get them boys! Those nasty rebels won't get away that easily. Ha! Oh, hello Dan, may I know why you are late?"

"Hux," repeated the Sith.

"I don't _care_ if your damn cat has escaped! As you can see, your work is a serious one. Be one time late, and boom! Your workplace exploded without you! Do you realize how unprofessional that sounds? An officer isn't supposed to survive longer then its own general, otherwise it an officer that didn't fulfill his job… Not now, Captain Phasma, I am trying to educate my subordinates while defending what I have worked for my whole life!"

"HUX!"

Upon seeing the Dark Knight screaming alone in the middle of an empty hallway, a couple of Stormtrooper on patrol paused, turned around and quickly walked the other direction.

"WHAT, KYLO REN? As you can _hear_ , I am a BUSY MAN!"

"There are intruders heading to the oscillator. I am going to stop them, but I would need you to send me a few soldiers." As he said that, he started heading in the direction where he could sense his father.

"All right! You! Send a squadron to the oscillator! Some rebels infiltrated the base."

The Dark Knight stopped and looked around. There was no one, so it was the moment or never to do it. With a hiss, he quickly removed his mask, grabbed the earplug, tossed it on the ground and crunched it under the sole of his combat boot, before putting his helmet back on and returning to walking.

Never had silence been so blessed by his ears.

ooo

Han took a serious expression, making both Rey and Finn perk up.

"Okay, so Chewie and me are going to place bombs inside the oscillator to try and make some damage. You two, head somewhere safe and wait for us. If it starts smelling bad, Finn, you take her directly to the ship without being seen. Got it?"

Rey nodded, but, as per usual, Finn was doubting.

"But what if you are in trouble? We can't leave without you."

Chewbacca groaned in approval. " _I can't leave you behind, Han,_ "

The smuggled almost rolled his eyes. "I can handle myself, don't you worry. And you," he turned to the Wookie, "are coming with me, you coward."

" _I knew that."_

"So, anyway, we'll see each other later. Let's move, we don't have much time."

They split. Finn and Rey hurried upwards, towards the surface, while the two smugglers moved downwards, into the entails of Starkiller. It was time to end the monstrosity.

ooo

"We should go back now," whispered Finn, slightly pulling on her arm.

Rey shook her head. "No there is still time. We have to wait a little more."

They had found a safe place for now, a platform over the oscillator's depth. From there, they had spotted all the Stormtroopers invading the place like ants on a rotten mellon, looking everywhere for the companions they had left behind. Upon seeing his old comrades, Finn only wanted to run for his life, but he couldn't leave Rey behind and was urging her to departure with him.

"They might see us here, it's not safe," reasoned the former soldier.

"Good, like this they will come after us and that will give them more time." She got closer to the edge and looked over the barrier, trying to spot where had the smugglers gone. Neither them or the First Order's Stormtroopers had seen any trace of them since the rebels had split, five minutes ago.

Suddenly, she sensed something. Something dark and angry, something that wasn't far away.

"He's here..." she whispered, suddenly backing up from where she had been resting, closer to her companion.

"Who is here?"

She didn't answer. Far below, she had spotted a small, dark figure walking on the narrow passage over the bottomless pit. She held her breath. Even when he was so far away, his darkness was chocking her, as if its tendrils were trying to crawl around her neck and under her clothes.

"Ben!" Suddenly called a voice.

" _Hey, isn't that one of Ben's friend?" said the man._

 _Rey smiled and tilted her head, proceeding to look adorable. She recognized the woman – she had seen her talk to the Master Skywalker several times before, as she was trying to spy on her secret idol._

" _Oh, but isn't that little Rey?" The woman bended over. "What are you doing here? Aren't you far from home?"_

" _She got in the speeder's luggage compartment while I wasn't looking," answered the man – the woman had called him Han before – for her. "She's a sneaky little thing, isn't she?"_

" _She's adorable. Ben! Come here! You got a visit!"_

 _A boy came out of the house. Already tall, a little awkward, dark haired, he was holding a piece of bread with jam and had his mouth full. He looked curious, but when his eyes fell on the little girl with sparkles in his eyes, his face dropped and he frowned._

" _Oh bummer," he said with his mouth full._

" _BEN!" Squealed an overexcited four year old Rey. She ran to him and hung on his leg. "Benbenben please can you play with me a little pleasepleasepleeeaaaaase?"_

" _You never said that you had that much luck with the ladies, son," teased Han._

 _The boy shoved his full slice in his mouth before answering. "She just glues me, it's not my fault. She's from the junior class at the Jedi Academy."_

" _Don't speak with you mouth full, young man," scolded the woman._

 _Ben brooded while munching his snack down. Rey was looking up at each one of his moves with eyes filled with adoration, and Han laid a hand on Leia's shoulder. Both parents looked at the children with warm smiles._

" _Why don't you go and play with her, son?" he said._

" _But I wanted to go hang out with Poe."_

" _Why don't you play with Poe and Rey at the same time?" Suggested Leia. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind."_

" _I don't_ play _with Poe, that's for babies. We_ hang out, _" replied the preteen, crossing his arms over his chest. It was starting to get pretty well shaped with all the combat training he was going though at the academy, but it was still only the shadow of what was to come._

" _Now young man, watch your tone with me. You will include Rey the one time she comes over. Look at her, she came all the way here for you, you aren't going to let her down now, are you?"_

 _Ben stared down at the little girl. She stared back up with big, hopeful eyes, while holding his leg even tighter._

" _Okay, fine…" eventually grumbled the boy._

That couldn't be true. That couldn't… That wasn't supposed to be possible. She had always remembered the Ben she used to adore when she was younger, one of the few memories she still held on while being back on Jakku. With time, the memories had melted in a blur and she had only very recently established a link between Han Solo and the Han her early childhood, the man with strong hands and big smile she had wished so badly it was her father.

"Rey, are you all right?"

"It's him," she mumbled, still under the chock. "The Vulture."

No no no! That couldn't be possible. He first crush ever couldn't be the monster she had faced twice. He couldn't be…

She patted her chest, the place where the picture was safely hidden. She wanted to pull it out and tear it apart for being so utterly stupid, but she didn't feel like putting her hand down her cleavage in front of Finn. A lady needed to keep her mannerisms.

That was when she saw Han walking on the bridge, a lonely figure hanging in emptiness. A terrible feeling overtook her, but she could only look at the scene from far with a nauseous feeling.

"You're right! It's Kylo Ren! Shit, we got to get out of here. What is Han thinks he's doing?" As per usual, Finn was worrying.

She didn't reply. Hypnotized, she leaned forward and laid both her hands on the bar of the railing. She distinguished that right before the two figures joined, the Dark Knight took out his helmet and dropped it at his feet.

"Sweet mother of Snoke, you saw that?" Said Finn, not even realizing that he had used a typical expression from the First Order. "He got his mask off! I thought I would never see the day where that happens!" He leaned forward, trying to take a better look. "I can't see a thing! Han is in the way."

She could vaguely hear their voices. It was like that moment was going on forever and ever. She knew how it was going to end, something was just repeating it again and agin in her brain, but she couldn't even grasp it. It was too terrifying. Too horrible. Too…

She saw in every detail the lightsaber coming out of Han's back. For a second, her heart stopped beating, the man lingered on the edge of the platform… before plunging into the darkness below.

It was the end of the road for Han Solo.

"No! YOU MONSTER!" She screamed at the solitary figure.

The son lifted his eyes, met hers and for a brief second, their mind touched. She felt the confusion, she felt the sadness – and the ever burning anger on the edge. She was looking at the face of a torn man.

A cry of pain echoed thought the emptiness, and Chebacca shot Kylo. He took the full hit in the gut and the contact between her and him broke with a sharp bite of white pain. She stumbled back, as if she had been hit herself, but she felt no pity or compassion for Kylo – only rage and hate.

The Dark Knight crouched down on the bridge, a fire burning his side, worse then the torture resisting exercises Snoke had put him though. Tears of pain swelled up in his eyes, but from deep down something twisted surfaced and made him smirk. He had seen inside the girl. She was a precious jewel indeed, and for a fraction of a second… she had embraced her own darkness.

ooo

 **Kay, last author's note had been a lie. This tenth chapter was hugely important, for various reasons, and the ground we have covered in it concerning Rey's (supposed) past can make it all clear for me to attack the second part of why I don't think Rey and Kylo are cousins. Yay!**

 **(Just as a side note before I start. I am not covering this because I am feeling morally concerned or anything. I would ship Reylo regardless of family ties. But I have came up with some interesting stuff while making researches and thought I could share it with you. If you don't care, you can skip to the next chapter (if it's out already).)**

 **So Rey has been trained in Luke's Academy. That would explain many things about her character: why she intuitively knows what is the Force, her fighting skills and the fact that, as stated in the end of the book, Luke recognizes her. That also implies that she knew Ben when he was, well, just Ben, and most probably Leia and Han as well, which would explain the hey-random-stranger-hug encounter with the General at the end of TFA and her quick bounding with the smuggler. I would even suggest that she doesn't remember it all because she was young (which would explain why she doesn't recognize Kylo (who has changed a lot on top of it) or Han), but the knowledge is there.**

 **That would also give a valid reason to why she had been left on Jakku. Kylo Ren has killed the entire Jedi academy and it was important to protect her, the sole survivor. In addiction to all these good reason why this theory just feels right, it invalidates the possibility that Luke is the father of Rey since, as I have mentioned in my previous chapter, she has never known her father.**

 **And for the ones that are still suspicious and that argue that 'they could have very well not told her that he was her father because Jedis aren't supposed to have children', I have an argument to counter that too. Luke may be the greatest Jedi of all time, but he wasn't _raised_ a Jedi since his youngest age. He was trained by Yoda for an unknown amount of time (but, when we put it in parallel with the events in cloud city, couldn't have been longer then a few weeks) and even after that, he is far from displaying a Jedi-like mentality. He can be angered easily when he knows he should remain calm (just look at when Darth Vader read in his mind that he had a sister), is impulsive (look when he goes to rescue Leia in Cloud City) and is certainly not respecting the Jedi code. My point is, he doesn't have 100% Jedi values hammered into him since his youngest age. In fact, it is the complete opposite.**

 **(Yes, I know I said, a few chapters back, that (mimics my own voice) 'Luke seems to 'monk-like' to mess with women, whatever whatever'. But that was _before_ I made any serious research on him. I was stupid, I know, I am sorry for contradicting myself.) **

**So, do you really think that, if he would have had a child (which is entirely possible), he would be the type of person to hide the truth from that child? You would think that he would be against the 'No, I am your father' by now, right? My guess is that, in the possibility where Luke _does_ have a child, he is more likely to tell said child that he had been the one visiting her mother's chimney nine month before her birth (maybe not so crudely), even if that means that he doesn't tell a lot of other people to keep his image of a good Jedi up. **

**But since Rey has not known her father and that she has most likely trained in the Jedi Academy, this can't fit. And that is would be why Rey can't be Luke's daughter. Thanks for reading, sorry for all the seriousness. Next time, I swear there will be a bonus down here.**

 **Oh, and if you want to use this evidence in your fanfictions or simply in arguing that Reylo is _not_ incest, please go ahead. Most of these ideas come from my researches and hanging out on the internet, the only credit I can take from them is putting them together – and I am sure that plenty of people out there already did the same on their own – and for thinking of a simple and logical way to present them. Enjoy ~**


	12. Battle In The Snow

"This way!" Cried Finn. "I'm sure that the ship is this way, I recognize that part of the forest!"

Rey ran after Finn, but she was starting to loose hope. After escaping the oscillator, they had been running around the snowy forest for what seemed ages – only five minutes, but still. She was starting to think that he didn't know the way. And boy, was it _cold_ here! He had assured her that it really wasn't that bad, probably only minus two or three, but she was far more used to a blazing sun then this snow and ice all around.

(In fact, if was the first time she saw snow in her life. She was impressed, but it wasn't the time to marvel at how white it was. Especially since she had started to hate it the second she realized that it was even more freaking cold then the air. She had heard many swear words in her life and knew the meaning of a few, but she was starting to wonder if any were good enough to express her hate for the fluffy, innocent snow.)

"Are we lost?" she asked the former Stormtrooper.

He stopped and turned around, out of breath. "No we aren't! I know where we are!"

Rey stared at him in silence for a full two seconds.

"Okay, okay… We might be a little. But nothing too bad. It is somewhere around here, I can feel it!" corrected Finn.

"All right, so where _is_ it, then?" She was starting to sound exasperated, and she was. Not only had she witnessed the death of the man she had always wanted to have as a real father but she was also cold and angry and scared. And hungry. You don't get fed on a few nachos for a full day.

ooo

He could feel her. Thought the pain that radiated from his side, the cold that bit his skin and the occasional blur at the edge of his vision, she shone like a beautiful star in the middle of a storm.

A twinkling star.

She was conflicted, he could taste it. Without her knowing it, a battle between light and darkness was taking place in her, making her tilt over the edge. And he wanted nothing more then to see her fall, and fall, and fall… into his side, next to him in the darkness. Her very essence was calling to him, pulling him like a magnet forward. He had followed her as she ran thought the woods, overlapping her tracks, circling her as she got lost, hunting her down like a prey… his prey.

Maybe he was so sensitive to her because he was tapping so heavily into the Force. The wound at his side was beating a steady pulse, making his whole abdomen pound in pain, and if he was walking it wasn't because his muscles were operational. Any less man would have been sent straight to the hospital – and the Stormtroopers of his escort had tried to put him there when they had witnessed his state.

He had also noticed the one that had taken a photo of his face, but he hadn't commented about it. He would deal with that later anyway.

For now, they couldn't get away alive. He had some unfinished business with the girl and on top of that, she was _his_. He had captured her. She couldn't escape from him, he had to bring her back to Snoke – or face the ultimate humiliation of having completely failed his mission and his grandfather.

He could see them now. He stomped to them and turned on his lightsaber. It crackled furiously and hissed whenever snowflakes entered in contact with it. The noise made them turn around, and he delighted in reading their expression. Finn was of disbelief, while Rey's mirrored what she felt for him: anger, hate and disgust.

"You monster!" She screamed.

He noted that it had been her exact words from before. That made his heart beat faster – in anger or in excitement, it was hart to tell though a veil of pain. "We're alone now – free to resolve any problem we have."

His pain was too much to bear. Frustrated, he punched it with his first hard. The wound seemed, for a brief instant, to explode, but it soon calmed downand faded in an almost-dull pounding in his side.

Drops of blood fell on the snow, attracting her attention. He sensed he fleeting thought – he was hurt, he was weakened – and he guessed her next move. She pulled out a gun (the gun she had 'borrowed from the Stormtrooper she had hypnotized) from her belt and pointed it at him, but he had seen her coming and was quicker to react. Catapulted by the Force (a trick he liked to use on his subordinates) she flew backwards and hit a tree, hard.

 _Oh shit_ , was the only thing he managed to think about when she fell to the ground. He had seen her aura flicked and dimmer at the impact. He hadn't meant to hurt her that hard. Kylo only destroyed other people's stuff, not his. Never his. He was very careful with what he considered his property.

His first instinct was to rush to her to see if she was okay, but he was topped by the ex-Stormtrooper, who kneeled in the snow next to her, completely forgetting that there was an armed, psycho Dark Knight a few steps away from him.

"Rey!" Called the man. He picked her up and held her close. "Nonono, Rey..."

The name rang a bell, deep down inside, but he pushed the feeling aside. He understood it now.

When he had first met the Stromtrooper, he had only been a faceless among the faceless, a soldier, a machine that had refused to kill. He had quickly forgotten about this moment, until later, when the news of the soldier's defect came to him. But now, he could see why he had done it; why he had ran away from his duty. It had been the call of the Light. The same call that Kylo tried to ignore day after day. The same call that he considered as a sinn to even acknowledge (because he felt that he was above such weak temptation).

"Traitor!" He screamed with a burning rage. The soldier had been on his side and had turned his back to it. And now, _he_ was the one that was holding that girl – Rey.

(They might have been a hitch of jealousy mixed with that anger… Or a full truck.)

The man paused at that, and slowly laid her back in the snow, before pulling out something from his waist and getting up. He tunred around, and dramatically lifted the lightsaber to his face and lit it.

 _Hey,_ thought Kylo, _I am the one supposed to be the drama queen here_.

"Put that down!" He screamed instead. "This is mine!" No one messed with family heritage. His inner puppy could smell it: that had belonged, once upon a time, to Darth Vader.

But the ex-Stormtrooper ignored him. His face was hard with resolve are he charged Kylo screaming. Their lightsabers clashed, blue mixed with red and purple reflexions danced on the snow around them. The contact was brief, the blades bounced on each other, but came rushing back, meeting again and again.

The traitor had been trained his whole life to fight, but so had Kylo, and he had fought hundreds of his peers to perfect himself. The fighting style practiced by Stormtroopers, their move pattern, all these were carved in his muscles like a second nature by now. He could have overpowered the man with ease – if the steady pounding wasn't growing larger and large each second, threatening to engulf his side once more.

With a brutal push, he shoved his enemy away and used the break to beat himself. He bit his lip to not scream in agony when his fist bounced on the bare nerves and was soon back in the fight, ignoring the traces of blood that now appeared on the snow. The acid that nibbled his flesh had retreated once more into a drizzling pounding, and he could focus on the fight.

But he still didn't completely overpower his opponent. The man had some resolve, that much was granted, but that only angered him further. He would beat him into a bloody pulp for daring what he could not permit himself, for touching Rey, for being the man he wasn't. He would beat him dead, and when he was dead, he would bet him still.

Tapping in his rage, he channeled it using the Force, into his stength. The former soldier started loosing ground quickly, until their blades were crossed and he was forced into a tree. Kylo saw his chance. Using brute strength, he pushed the intwined weapons until the crackling hilt of his own burned thought the silly jacket he wore, bitting his shoulder. The man screamed in pain and, with the strength of despair, shoved him off.

She woke up to the sound of a scream and her cheek plunged into a cold kiss. Purple light passed though her heavy eyelids…

Using the fact that he was destabilized, the deserter lunged forth and his blade bit his way though Kylo's dark clad shoulder, finding flesh beneath. He jumped back and clung to the burn, feeling that it was deep – but not deep enough to stop him. Willing the Force to help him to keep fighting, he faced his opponent once more and attacked.

The man had not been expecting such strength behind the hit after the last blow. Weakened by the pain, he couldn't hold on, and the lightsaber flew out of his hands and into the snow, tuning off when no hands was on it to keep it running (it was a safety measure).

But Kylo didn't even so much as glance sideways. He punched the man in the face, hard, making him spin, and when he was turning his back to him, he slashed though in one upwards move. His blade met almost no resistance.

His opponent heavily fell in the snow, and Kylo relaxed. The pain and the strain he was imposing on himself were starting to show, making his breathing labored. He was approaching his limit, he knew it, and was glad that it was all over. He turned of his lightsaber, before checking where his prize had fallen. Only a few steps away, but too many steps away for the raging monster that was devouring his side once more.

He lifted his hand and called the Force to his aid once more. It responded weakly to his summon: he had already used a lot of energy in standing up and was still not completely back on track from his recent lack of sleep. It looked like he was going to have to get his lazy ass over there and retrieve it himself…

He suddenly senses an energy field engulfing him and passing straight by him, grabbing the item of his attention and pulling it. He barely had the time to dodge the flying staff. It passed straight by him and straight in the hands of Rey.

She took a fighting stance she had learned a long time ago, back in the days were she had been but an innocent adorable bouncy things learning how to fight. In her eyes shone cold anger and resolution.

And yet, the only thing Kylo's brain came up with was _holy fuck I want to lick those legs so badly._ Was it the puppy inside of him? The lack of sleep? The pain? The soreness? The adrenaline pumping in his veins? Whatever it was, he didn't even have the strength to not be okay with it.

He soon had more important things to think about when she lit her weapon. She was actually serious about fighting him. Her, a scavenger. A nobody. Something he had picked up because he thought no one would really mind.

And someone who had flipped him over and read his mind in a fraction of a second.

He lit his own weapon once more. This time, he wasn't certain of the issu of the fight, but there was no point in trying to run now.

She was the one who charced at him first. He felt in un her first blow: she was stronger then him in this weakened state. Their blades crossed twice, before he dodged and she impaled a tree that came crashing down. He attacked her then, trying to take the upper hand while he could still stand, but his fighting style already suffered from his state. Luckly for him, she was clearly used to a different weapon: she handled her like she was holding something much longer, swinging it around like she had a staff in her hand.

As a result, their battle looked nothing like the ones true Knights had. The lightsabers flew around in large circles, catching tree trunks in their deadly jaws. Again and again, the two beams met, buzzing furiously each time but only for a brief instant before flying away from each other. He could handle that, but barely.

A large explosion came to them over the distance, followed by a deep rumble below. The two fighters were momentarily separated by the earth shaking. A large gash opened in the forest's floor, revealing hints of the inside of the planet – in fusion.

That was his chance. Using all his remaining strength and his weight, he crossed their weapons and pushed her – it help that the slope was downwards – and brought her to the very edge of the newly formed cliff. Waves of heat came to them from the lava down below and she groaned in her effort to get back on steadier ground.

But he didn't push her.

"You need a teacher!" He said. Her eyes darted up to him, meeting his. "I can show you the ways of the Force!"

Purple shadows danced on her beautiful face. He lips moved slightly. "The Force…" she repeated to herself. She closed her eyes.

If they wouldn't have been over a pit of lava and with their lightsaber crossed, he would have bended over and kissed those sweet lips while she made that face like she was waiting for it. But they were, so it was a totally inappropriate thought, and he chased it away quickly. (That didn't prevent it from coming back on its tippy toes.)

Their mind touched. He could sense the darkness in her, the darkness that the rage and the hate was only fueling. _Yes_ , he whispered to her. _Let them take control… Let them link you to me._ For a second, she listened. She reached out, and embraced her emotions. And for a second, she shone like a dark jewel…

But she jolted back. Friends. Family. She had found them in these last days and had brought her so much light in her miserable life. She had lived again with their smiles and though the hardships that had shared. They had come to save her. Han, Finn, Chewbacca, BB-8. She brought the memories close to her heart and they grew.

 _No!_

She chased him out of her head and touched the light inside her. That made her shine not like a rock, but like a star. A true, luminous star. Their eyes met for a second, and he knew. He should have kissed her while he could, because there was no way it was going to be possible now.

She escaped from under his weight and attacked him again and again. He moved were precise now, fast, and she used the lightsaber according to its size. He could only defend and back up, countering her at the last moment each time, but his arm was weak. The last time, his weapon bounced on hers, almost escaping his fingers, and she used the opening to sweep him. Pain bit his leg and he let himself drop by reflex to prevent his limb from being cut off.

He tumbled back on his feet and attacked her once more, a laughable attempt. Pain was shooting up at each step, but he willed himself to keep fighting. It was the only thing that was holding him together at that point.

She used the moment where his blade was still swinging to poke him, this time not opening any wounds but burning bare a patch of white skin over his heart. It had been a go at killing him, but at the very last moment she had hold back, a last moment strike of her reluctance to kill.

He backed up upon realizing that she could have ended it there and that her resolve showed no sign of weakening. And yet, he couldn't get his eyes off her, not because she was threatening him, but because he had never seen such a beautiful goddess of vengeance.

That's why he tripped and fell face first in the snow. She stopped there and looked at him get up, and at that moment, he saw himself though her eyes: a dark heartless creature close to defeat.

That angered him.

He struggled back to his feet, every single one of his limb shaking in pain, and lunged at her once more. Their blades met once more, one last time. He grabbed her sword wrist, she grabbed his, and for a moment they made a battle of strength and a strange dance all at once.

She brought his lightsaber down hissing in the snow. He tried to pull it out and screamed when every single muscle of his abdomen were torn apart under the effort. He could feel warm blood dripping down his waist now.

Her hand escaped his hold and her lightsaber came down on his. She struck the small side blades, tearing it from his hand, before slicing the metal and turning off the weapon – forever.

She didn't even wince. In the same upwards swing he had used to bring Finn down, she opened her last wound, the one that would remind him off her each time he would storm to his bathroom to arrange his morning or helmet hair.

He fell back on the snow. Burning white pain screamed from every single wound, taking his vision for a second. When it came back he saw her, waiting a few feet away from him, waiting for him to get up because she wouldn't kill an enemy that was down – like he would have done.

He got on his elbows. He was weaponless, every single patch of his skin was burning with hissing pain and an enemy was looming over him, but he couldn't help himself: he thought that she was fucking beautiful. An angel, really, an angel that was looming over a fallen demon. He didn't have the strength and never had the will to be angry at her. All he could do was simply stare in awe.

She frowned at his expression, wondering what he could be thinking for making such a face, but was interrupted by a deep rumble from below. The earth at her feet slit in two. There soon were separated by ten meters of emptiness – Starkiller base was dying under them.

But their eyes never left each other.

She suddenly remembered her fallen companion, and looked back. Pain flashed though her face at the memory of Finn, and she ran away to him.

Kylo Ren flopped back in the snow, every muscles of his body squealing in protest, before counting all the reasons why his life was fucked up and why it was best that he just died here.

He was a terrible person. He had killed his own father, among many other people, had spread countless pain, had terrified his own troops since he ever had troops, had driven his rare superior nuts, had regularly forgot to turn the light off when he exited a room, had never taken the time to cook but complained about food all the time, had bullied countless helpless souls, but it wasn't the worse.

He was a maniac, immature, evil Sith apprentice with dreams of grandeur. He had most probably practically given the droid back to the Resistance by declaring the girl enough, then had lost to her, then had lost her, then had been defeated by her, and was now most probably going to die with Starkiller, who, for some reason, was going to explode very soon. But the worse was that, despite all she had put him though, now he wanted to bang her so badly he would have done it in his current state without a regret. Even if he was the incarnation of everything that could go wrong, he was pretty sure that it was very bad.

Kylo Ren had many obsessions. But he would have never guessed that his attraction to shiny things would land him in such a mess.

ooo

 **Can you believe it? We arrived at the end of the movie! Yay!**

 ** _Okay_ , there are still some minor details to go though before the real end and _okay_ I haven't exactly followed the movie the whole time, but still! Does anyone know what that means?**

 **Anyone?**

 **That means that from now on, I am the only master on board. (I am currently feeling really powerful here.) I am the one deciding what is going to happen next, which means… Prepare yourself. For anything. I'm not kidding, anything can happen from now on. It officially a full AU fanfiction. Yay?**

 **But before I continue, I wanted to give my special thanks to everyone that followed, favorited and reviewed _Magpie Syndrome_ so far! I will take the time to answer to all your kind words in person (unless it's a guest review, which are adorable by the way) and I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. **

**Oh, and has anyone lived these kind of moments since Star Wars came out?**

 **1\. Laying in bed, completely tired, sore, knowing that you have to get up tomorrow, but thinking too hard about Rey's family line.**

 **2\. Opening internet, thinking 'just five minutes', typing Reylo and instantly losing two to three hours of your life.**

 **3\. Creating a secret folder dedicated to all the best fanart and gifs you find.**

 **4\. Fangirling in front of fan music videos celebrating your OTP even if you hate the song. (If you haven't, look them up on youtube. It's like eating a full tube of sweet shipping candy. Be wary of cavities and enjoy.)**

 **Okay, enough talking about nonsense. I promised a bonus, please enjoy.**

 **(Bonus)**

 **A Long Time Ago, In An Other Life**

 **The window slowly creaked open and a long figure slipped in. Kyloben, the vampire, was hungry and he had found a prey to feast on, a young and innocent maiden that lived in this house and who's blood was as sweet as a rose. His lips widened in a large, bone-chilling smile and he slowly made his way to the canopy bed where she was resting.**

 **His long fingers caught the fabric of the curtains that were sheltering her from the light and the sight and played with them teasingly, appreciating their voluptuous texture. Once he was done with teasing his hunger, he yanked them open. His large shadow fell on the bed of the girl and his blood-red eyes shone in the darkness as they searched for his prey.**

 **She was beautiful.**

 **She was awake.**

 **She had holding a massive stick.**

" **Good gracious!" He swore, jumping back just in time to dodge a swing of her weapon.**

" **Flee, foul creature of the night! And God forgive that you ever tried to abuse of an innocent maiden in her sleep!" She cried as she jumped out of her bed, followed by a white and orange one-eyes cat that seemed equally upset about the intrusion.**

" **Madam, it a misunderstanding… I wasn't going to abuse you…" He took his most innocent face and placed a hand on his heart. Never try to anger a woman with a stick when you don't have one of your own.**

" **Oh yes?" She paused and eyed him from top to bottom suspiciously. "Then kneel."**

 **Surprised by the request, he got down to his knees and looked up. In the pale light of the moonlight, she was breathtaking…**

 **She threw a crucifix in his face. That made him fall to the ground, howling in pain and he crutched his face. "IT BURNS! BUUURNS!"**

 **But he was facing a pitiless monster.**

 **Using the fact that he was down, she started to hit him with her stick. "Hooligan! Monster! Abomination!" She cried in between each hit. Her cat attacked him too, hissing and jumping on him like a wild panther, getting his claws tied up in his messy hair.**

" **Pity! Pity!" He cried.**

 **The hits stopped and he slowly got up. She had her hands on her hips – and still looked breathtaking. Not like him, who now had a burn mark across his face and most probably several new ugly bruises on his body. The cat also retreated, his tail high and looking pretty smug about the scratch marks he had left behind.**

" **Well?" She demanded.**

" **I'm sorry…" He said, looking like a beaten up puppy.**

" **And?"**

" **I won't do it again…"**

" **Good. Now out!" She pointed the open window.**

 **He looked at it, but suddenly had an other idea. "Wait!"**

" **What is it now?" She replied, annoyed that he wasn't gone already.**

" **May I have… A kiss?" He asked, hopeful.**

 **She paused at that. She looked at him up and down, before lowering her eyes and taking a step closer so that she was standing in arm's reach. She gently tossed her hair over her shoulder and looked up at him. Not believing his luck, he also got closer until their chest were almost touching and looked down to her. She was tiny… but lovely so. So frail. So…**

" **No," she said.**

 **And she kicked him between the legs.**

 **He howled in pain and fell to the ground once more. Taking it as an attack signal, the cat pounced on him and proceeded to ruin his brand new cape with some clear sadistic pleasure. She towered over him in all her nightgown glory.**

" **You may not have a kiss. Now out, I need my beauty sleep," she declared.**

" **All right," he answered in a weak choked voice. "No kiss."**

" **Good. Baby, come here Baby, lets get back to bed…"**

 **The cat stopped making confetti of Kyloben's clothing and jumped in his mistress' arms, purring like there were two of them. For such a small ball of fuzz it could make a truckload of noise. She smiled while petting him but glared down to him.**

" **What are you still doing here?"**

 **Terrified that she would do something else to him, he jumped on his feet and flew straight out the window in his bat form. She shrugged and closed it behind her, before getting back to bed.**

 **And that was the first time Rey kicked Kylo's ass in history.**

 **THE END**

 **(If anyone wants to write an AU with Kylo as a vampire and Rey as a maiden or knows one that exists already, I'm dying to read one. Maybe I'll write one of my own – but considering that I already have a fanfiction on my hands, that will be for later.)**


	13. Of A Koala Bear

_He had felt clear empathy for the little girl._

 _It was her first day at the Jedi Academy and she was but a little thing with big brown eyes and a stupid look of amazement at every single action a grown up made. She was adorable, and Ben didn't like adorable. He didn't like little girls either – or girls for that matter, he was still at that age were annoying them was the most hilarious thing ever. And, above all, he didn't like landing a hand. He was the nephew of Luke Skywalker, savior of the Galaxy, and by far his best student (in his eyes) and had but little patience with people who weren't as capable as him._

 _Which meant he didn't have a lot of friends, but hey, who needed friends in the first place?_

 _And yet, when that little thing no bigger then an Ewok walked up to a spare training stick and tried to lift it, he perked up and watched her with curiosity. And all it took for him to walk over was Charlie starting to help her._

 _For some reason, Ben didn't like Charlie. Was it bully instincts talking here? The boy could have been the local bad guy if it hadn't been for Kylo being even more of a terror then him. Quite tall, blond hair and slight freckles, years of being pushed down by his nemesis (a clue: he had dark hair and large ears) had forced him into the role of the shy boy that kinda wanted to help but that wasn't much use because of lack of self-confidence._

 _On the moment, he had told himself that it was only to dismiss Charlie that he had approached the girl, and he had almost believed that lie. In fact, all he had been waiting was an excuse._

 _He didn't even need to formulate his thoughts. When 'Squeaky' saw Ben coming, all emo and brooding, he was quick to leave the girl alone. Others around glanced over, quivering in fear at what the terrible little Solo was going to do to the poor girl._

 _He kneeled._

" _Hey, you're holding it wrong."_

 _In the next five minutes, half of the students that were present managed to pick up their jaws from the floor at the sight of Ben showing the tiny girl how to hold a lightsaber (well, in this case just a training stick) and a few basic fight steps. She was beaming, and soon looked up at the boy who was helping her with pure admiration in her eyes._

 _She didn't know his name, but in this moment he was doomed._

 _Once he grew bored of playing babysitter, he simply walked away. Small steps followed him, a little thing dragging a large sword with a huge smile on her face. He paused and looked back when he sensed her, then frowned._

" _What do you want?"_

 _She crossed her hands between her back, before literally beaming. The girl was as close to a ray of sunshine then a human being could possibly be. "What's your name?" She asked sweetly._

" _Ben," he answered, before turning away and continuing to walk._

 _She followed him, the training stick bouncing and chattering behind her as she held it still._

 _He walked faster. She ran._

 _He wiped around, annoyed. "Stop following me!" He snapped._

" _I'm not following you," she replied with the certain logic of a four year old, "I'm coming with you."_

" _I forbid you from coming with–"_

 _She suddenly pasted her hands on her ears and started singing. "Lalalalalaaa I can't hear you lalalalalalala..."_

" _Listen to me, I said that that you can't follow me!"_

"… _lalalalalalaLALALA-lalalalalaLALALALA..."_

" _Stop singing, it's annoying me!"_

"… _LalaLAlaLAlaLAlaLA..."_

 _Frustrated, Ben stepped forth and pulled her hand away from her ears. "STOP THAT!"_

" _Ben! What have I told you about mistreating your lesser?" scolded Luke, who had been watching from afar from fear that the shadowy temper of his nephew would get the better of him._

 _The dark haired youth straightened and froze, ashamed that he had been caught screaming. He should know better then to lose his temper, he was a Jedi knight. The girl returned to beaming_

" _Now, Rey," said the Jedi knight, "what are you doing too poor Ben?"_

" _I'm not Rey," she answered very seriously. "I'm a koala bear. Rey is over there, training with the fighting sticks." She pointed in the direction she had come from with the fake lightsaber she still held._

" _Oh, well, I have been mistaken," humored her the Jedi. "Now, if you don't mind, I will be taking this stick on my way to see her. It is supposed to stay where the children can practice."_

" _Okay." She handed him the fake weapon. "Give my blessing too Rey, maytheforce is with her," she recited, an imitation of the greeting she had heard adults give each other._

" _Right, may the Force be with you too, Rey." And with that, the master departed._

" _I'm not Rey, I'm a koala bear!" She cried._

 _Once the man was gone, the two padawans exchanged a look. Rey gave him a large smile… and Ben felt dread. She pounced on him and her little arms locked around his legs into a vicious grip, startling him._

" _What the… Lets go, Rey!" he said, pushing on her face so that she would do as he commanded._

" _No!" Replied the muffled voice of the girl though his finger. "I won't! I'm a koala bear!"_

 _Five minutes later, he had resumed walking as per usual, while dragging his leg behind him. Rey, still hooked to it, looked absolutely delighted._

ooo

The first thing that touched his consciousness was the throbbing of each single one of his wounds. That wasn't a pleasant feeling at all and he would have growled in discomfort if it hadn't been for his throat being so damn dry. It was really painful to swallow. Adding to that, he was damn cold, damn uncomfortable and damn _annoyed_ that he wasn't dead yet.

As his senses crawled back to him and he slowly regained his mind, other facts came to his attention that annoyed him greatly. First, that he didn't have his mask on and that he didn't remember where he had put it (he would remember later that he had left it back at the oscillator, and may it rest in peace). Second, there were people around him to witness his weakness. And third, there wasn't one but two Hux hovering over him.

"Great," he croaked. "as if I didn't already have enough with one of you."

The two men blinked once, then frowned. "I see that the painkillers are taking effect."

"No," he answered, "just your stupid twin brother. Give me water."

"I am not your–" angrily started the Huxs, before, calming themselves down with a long breath. "All right." They called two droids to his side and both men pointed the fallen Knight. "Get him a drink of some sort."

The droids beeped and rolled away, before coming back with a glass and crystal clear water each . Kylo frowned and tried to figure out if he was supposed to drink them both because he wasn't sure his stomach could hold that much water. Did he get a break in between?

Putting the matter for later since he though he could anyway slice anything he didn't like (he had forgotten the fact that his weapon had been sliced in half itself), he reached out to grab a glass. He frowned when he discovered that he had two arms in the place of one and that he could only grab emptiness.

"HUX!" He screamed, before throwing a fit of cough.

"What _now_?" Replied the generals as they stormed back to where Kylo laid.

"Who added an arm?" He hissed, his voice a chocked growl.

"An arm?" They examined the droids with interest. "But there is only one arm on that model."

"Not on _them_ , on me!" He waved his twin arms in front of the generals. They looked at him with Hux's favorite 'you got to be kidding me' glare.

"Well, if you are asking me who made you, I suppose that it is your mother."

"My mother?" He tried to sit up un mild panic but flopped back when the move provoked a river of pain in his stomach, wincing. "Where?" He managed to bark though clenched teeth. "Where is she?"

"Not. _Here_. You idiot." They pinched the ridges of their noses and sighted deeply. "She's far away."

Kylo narrowed his eyes. "So you let her escape. Once more, Hux, your efficiency proves to be a disappointment."

"She never was here in the first place!"

"THEN WHO–" His throat protested against the raise of voice and he started to cough again. He sounded worse then the late Emperor Palatine. "My arm." He managed to place.

"Yes, your arm, your arm is fine, on the opposite of the rest of you if I may add." Then both of the Hux grabbed one of his hands and shook them lightly. "See? Now get your drink, you sound like Snok– I mean a dying man." The Huxs took one glass each from the droid and seated them in his hands.

Kylo approached the recipient from his face… And the glasses attacked him! Drenched, he instinctively punched the air and caught the stomach of only one of the Generals, yet they both bended in two from pain and fell to the ground. Kylo looked around him in surprise for the first time, to stunned by all that had happened to know what reaction to have.

He seemed to be inside a ship, laying on a hard bed, and there was a lot of Stormtroopers around him. Most of them were keeping silent thought, standing or sitting. Only a few were looking his way and they diverted they heads when he looked at them. They couldn't be blamed. The sight of the head of the Knights of Ren laying on a bed with his face and his shirt wet, looking around wide-eyed, completely under the effect of the painkillers, while the mighty General Hux was crouched on the ground in pain, was a once in a lifetime chance.

Eventually, the latter hissed. "And you are supposed to be half dead… Sweet mother…"

A medical droid approached the man on the ground.

"Hello, my sensors detected that you are hurt."

"Oh shit," swore the General while quickly getting up.

"On a scale from one to ten, what is the amount of pain you feel? Please state your reply loud and clear."

"I'm fine."

"Not registered properly, please state your reply loud and clear. On a scale from one to ten, what is the amount of pain you feel?"

"Anyway. What are you doing, dumbass, drinking while _laying down?_ " Hissed the General to the fallen Knight.

"Not registered properly, please state…"

The latter was slowly coming back from his shock. "The water attacked me." He realized that he was still holding the glass in his hand. "This glass must have been sent by the Resistance to assassinate me."

"No, the Resistance didn't send a _glass of water_ to kill you, Kylo Ren."

"Not registered properly, please state…"

"But it has…" continued the Sith, absolutely certain of what he was saying. "It has catapulted its content of me to drown me. Such evil…" He frowned. "But I am the one who is supposed to be evil. Do you think my mother did it? Would she kill her own son? But that is… inhuman!"

Said the man that had killed his own father.

"No, your mother didn't do it…"

"Not registered properly, please state your reply loud and clear. On a scale from one to ten, what is the amount of pain you feel?" The medical droid had still not given up his quest to heal the General.

"Then who?" Kylo looked at the bottom of his glass, as if he had expected the name of his mysterious assassin to be written there. It wasn't, to his great disappointment, but he suddenly had an idea. "It must have been Sunshine."

"Who?" Asked Hux.

Kylo frowned. "No, her name was more like…" His eyes widened and he shot up. "IT WAS THE KOALA BEAR!"

Hux took a step back and bumped in the medical droid, startled by the sudden burst of energy of his co-worker. The apprentice of Snoke suddenly threw his legs over the edge of the bed and got up… Only to faceplant in the ground with a loud bang as he fainted.

"Not registered properly, please state your reply loud and clear. On a scale from one to ten, what is the amount of pain you feel?" asked the medical droid in the silence that followed.

One of the Hux's officers came down from the cockpit to find his superior. "My general? We will be arriving any time soon, Shuggan is in view and there are no sigh of Rebel ships."

"Very well…" he turned around and his eyes fell on two Stormtroopers who were greedily watching the scene. "You, and you! I want you to get him back in his bed and that he stays there until a medical team comes to get him. And get him an other drink before he dies of dehydration."

Both the soldiers nodded and walked to the fallen Knight before lifting him carefully.

"Not registered properly, please state your reply loud and cl–"

"BY THE HORNS OF HELL, TEN!" Yelled the general in the face of the poor droid. "HAPPY?"

"My only satisfaction is to serve the First Order," replied the robot. "Now, please stay still. I will inject painkillers to lessen the pain." A long needle emerged from the insides of the medical droid.

General Hux grew pale and ran to the cockpit before slamming the door behind him. The robot diligently followed him.

"These is no need to be afraid! Considering your degree of pain, it will not hurt at all. I wish only to serve the First Order and the might of our all powerful Supreme Leader Snoke," it said while it stood behind the door.

Meanwhile, DA-5732 and DA-5733, out favorite Snoke worshippers, finished hauling Kylo's huge dead mass on the bed once more and looked iat each other At that moment, when they gazed in each other's eyes, they knew that they had come to the same conclusion. Hux's hash but still caring behavior could only be the sign of the Undying Eternal Love he felt for the Dark Knight and that he didn't dare to express. Kylo Ren's face wasn't all that bad and he was much younger then what they had envisioned.

They had been contaminated.

They had fallen in among the dreaded ranks of the Kyhux clan.

ooo

 **While typing this chapter, I realized something: change one letter to Hux and it becomes Hug. And yes, I did copy a little of Big Hero Six with the medical droid gag (apart from the needle)… but hey, they are all Disney now, aren't they?**

 **A few days ago, I have finally received my invite for Archive of Our Own, so hey, _Magpie Syndrome_ in on there too! Don't worry, nobody that I know of if copying my story to post it on an other site. Talking about copying, here is my trick too discover if anyone has done the same with your story. **

**1\. Take any sentence of it that you are sure are only in your story. The more original the better. For example, I will be taking the first sentence of chapter 7: ' _Kylo Ren, Sith of Darkness, evil Warlord of the First Order, apprentice to Snoke, masked successor of Darth Vader, was currently sitting in the middle of a large field of flowers and eating muffins._ _'_ Like this, I am sure that no one else has written such a sentence.**

 **2\. Search for it on Google.**

 **For now, there is only one result coming up for the sentence above, and that is my story. Don't worry if you don't find even yours, Google is the Evil Overlord of the Internet but isn't omniscient, so it might take a while for you story to appear in its database.**

 **If you do find a copy of your story you haven't posted, don't burst into flames and act reasonable about it. Most of the time, it is just an idiot or an eleven year old child begging for attention that thought he would never get caught, and if you start to harass him or address him violent messages (I _know_ it is tempting but don't) he can use this against you to scream 'cyber-bullying'. Most of the time theses people don't realize what hard works means and will be very shocked to receive a hate message out of the blue or even place themselves in the role of the victim. The best is to contact him/her first and ask her to take it down or, if you are feeling very merciful, at least announce that the work belongs to you and that he/she is merely sharing it. **

**Just because someone made a mistake doesn't make him/her a door mat for your to wipe your shitty boots on he/she. And even if that person if a true stupid brat and answers that, too bad, if you didn't want it to be stolen you should have never posted it in the first place, don't fall in his/her little game and be the intelligent, mature being that seeks a higher purpose. Report that person to whatever site she is on, and, if that makes you feel better, you can share captions of the idiocy of that person (without insulting her, because the world can recognize stupidity without you having to elaborate on it) on whatever social media the kids these days are on. Then, go watch a video of a Persian kitten falling asleep because, hey, you're a good person.**


	14. The Legendary Reunion

She kissed him on the forehead and rose slowly.

"Rest… I hope we will meet again, my friend," she quietly said to the lying figure.

She was hoping that Kylo Ren was also lying somewhere, alive but in great pain and for the rest of his days for what he had done to her friend. She hoped that he would learn to regret and torment himself for all the hurt he had caused. She really, really hoped from the bottom of her heart that he suffered. A lot.

She got up and backed up from her fallen comrade. The doctors had been vague with her but they had told her all there was to say: that nobody knew what was going to become of him. Now, if he was waking up was entirely up to him – may it be in a year or in a minute, there was no telling.

The doctors had not been the only person to talk to her. R2-D2 had awoken with the last piece of the map she had gone though so much to keep away from the gloved hands of Kylo Ren, and they now knew where had Luke gone. General Organa herself had come to the girl and had given her the mission to go and seek him out, but she was still full of doubt.

She remembered now her short time at the academy, vague memories, nothing more, of something that had happened in an other time. Her only childhood in fact, a childhood torn by a shadow that had overpowered her and haunt her nightmares ever since. But she did remember master Luke, a kind man that had taught her a few things about the Force and how to fight. She wouldn't have known it was him if someone would have mentioned him in front of her thought since she had always known him as 'master Skywalker'.

It was true that she had defeated Kylo Ren once and that it was important for Jedis to rise again and to counter the Sith, arguments Leia had used when she had justified herself, but Rey was still unsure. She knew that it had been an unbelievable amount of luck that had made her triumph and she was terribly afraid to fail if she were to be confronted to the Dark side once more. Not only in matters of pure victory or defeat, but in matters of temptation.

Rey wasn't the innocent little girl she had once been. She had stolen, she had fought, she had lied, back on Jakku, in order to survive. She had beaten to a bloody pulp other scavengers that had been just as desperate as her too get their hands on poor pieces of scrape, and there was no denying that she had felt greatly satisfied when they had ran away from her. She was not the dispassionate being the Jedis were rumored to be. She was still only human.

Trying to become a Jedi to fight the Sith was not a good idea. She wasn't the right person for that. Finn was the right choice for Luke's apprentice. He had rose from the ranks of the First Order because he had felt the call of the Light and has answered it. He had resisted the temptations of power and fear even if they had overpowered him for a moment. He had fought back the Dark Side and had won, so he wouldn't be tempted to fall on their side ever again.

She didn't feel much of a call like Finn had. She didn't even feel particularly special next to him. He was a hero, and she admired him for it.

What she would never admit to herself was that she was not really scared of the Dark Side, but of Kylo Ren.

He eluded her reasonings. At first, he had appeared as a terrifying beast. During the interrogation, she had come to view him as a monster in the skin of a man. He was dark and surrounded himself in pitch black shadows, and he was so tall and strong that she had struggled with his sheer strength during their fight, even if he had been weakened. When she looked in his eyes, she saw anger, an incommensurable anger, and hate, and destruction. He wanted to drag her down with him, wanted to posses her like a trophy (she hadn't even felt that he was sexually interested in her, which would have been a sort of creepy but darkly human compliment), wanted to drag her in the dust if he could.

She saw him as an animal in his bloodlust, as a machine in his reasoning and as a monster that would haunt her forever. And she would have been fine if it would have been only that. She was used to fear for her survival, she was used to hate the ones that made her miserable. She would have fitted him in the category of 'evil people, no negotiation' in her head and she would have carried on… if it wouldn't have been for one, single moment.

The last look they had shared.

As he had laid in the snow, wounded, broken, exhausted, he had looked up to her… and she had seen no rage or frustration, but wonder, admiration and lust. At that moment, she had understood that he saw her as a worthy opponent, as a desirable person, as someone of her own. She had become an aim for his attention, and not his desire of possession. She had become _something_ to him…

She didn't want to be anything to Kylo Ren. That was venturing in a territory that she knew was slippery – way too slippery. The fact that she had yet to throw the picture of her and him was already worrying. The fact that she kept repeating again and again that memory of the look she had thrown him down the last time was worrying too. But the worse was when, in front of a dozen of people, as all looked at her, she had straight up declared that she thought of him as good looking – and that wasn't even for show.

There just was something about him that made her behave in ways that she wasn't supposed to behave. She should have been cursing him and shivering in disgust when she thought of him. And yet…

She needed to say to the General that she wasn't fit for Luke's apprenticeship, that they needed someone that could fight Kylo without a second thought. Someone that would never spare him, someone who saw him as she knew he was: a monster.

Someone like Finn.

Moments later, she was knocking on General Leia's office door, hoping that the busy women wasn't out, attending a serious top secret meeting or celebrating. Rey had spotted an improvised party on her way and had stopped a moment just to watch. For what seemed the first time in her life, she had seen people dancing. That had been fascinating, and she had stayed a while staring at the moving bodies. The music seemed to her like some sort of abomination, full of noise and big basses, so far away from the delicate swings she had learned to love on the long, lonely evenings of Jakku. It had occurred to her that this time was far behind her. Never would she return to her scavenger life. She had felt relieved, but also a pinch of nostalgia. From now on, things would only get more complicated for her.

"Come in," called a voice from within.

She opened the door wide at that and entered, but paused when she saw that there had already been someone in there before her. She had noticed that man before with his muscular built, his broad shoulders, his messy hair from his pilot helmet and his oozing confidence, but only from afar and didn't know his name, only that he was a pilot.

Once her gaze had lingered on him long enough to take in his features, she looked around, curious at what was around her. She had never entered the office of General Organa – not that she had had the time in the hour she had spent on the base of the Resistance –, or had even stepped inside an office at all in her life. It looked neat and organized to the millimeter, just like the elderly woman herself, all in greenish tones (much to Rey's delight, who decided that anything green was a lovely touch). The mistress of the place herself was sitting behind a large wooden desk in the middle of the room, in a chair that was the kind that you found in a doctor's office and from which they talked to you about grave and important things such as your health. Two lesser seats were placed in front of the desk for anyone that was talking to her to use, and Rey guessed from it that many came to ask for her advice or discuss of the organization of the Rebellion.

"Oh, Rey, what is the matter? A problem with the _Millennium Falcon_? I swear that this antiquity is going to come crashing down some day it has some many problems." She spoke with a gentle smile but that barely hid the hint of sadness in her eyes at the memory of her late husband's favorite vehicle.

"No, it's not that…" Rey let her eyes dart sideways, towards the pilot. She hoped he was going to leave soon, because she didn't feel like talking about the matter in front of the man. In addition to that, there was something in there of his hair and in the darkness of his eyes that reminded her of a certain nemesis of hers. She was grateful that the man here wasn't towering her, otherwise that would be hitting a little too close to home. "I am not interrupting anything, I hope?"

Understanding that the matter was private, the man stood up and gave her a smile. "I was about to leave, don't worry. It was a pleasure talking too you, General, and thank you for your precious advice."

"You are welcome Poe. I will be seeing you later at the debriefing meeting."

Rey just had the time to notice that Poe was carrying what seemed to be the old jacket Finn was wearing all the time and treated like the most precious piece of garment before he was out the door. The matter intrigued her, but she soon left it aside and sat in front of the older woman.

"So, what is it that is so urgent that you practically chase Poe out the door, Rey?" Asked Leia. Up close, she seemed really tired. She had lost the man she loved today and yet she was still taking care of the Resistance. It was an impressive fret, and for a second the girl hesitated before confessing her own weakness.

"I… I am really sorry, but I have been thinking about the whole thing and… I don't think it's a good idea. About becoming Luke's apprentice, that is." Rey braced herself for the deception she was sure that she was causing to the older woman.

"And why so?" She only sternly replied.

"Well… I am not the most suited for it. First, I can't fight properly. There are most probably tons of people that can fight better then me in this base alone. And wile it is true that I have been in the Jedi Academy and was once master Skywalker's student, it was a lifetime ago."

"What do you know of a lifetime, girl?" Asked the older woman, sounding a little annoyed. She quickly softened. "Do you really think the Force is some kind of knowledge you acquire like reading and calculating? No. The Force is something that flows thought you. And if you have opened the door once it can always be reopened, however long are the years. And I guess that this door is still open to you, otherwise you wouldn't be here. Am I right?"

"Yes, but–"

"But, indeed, I think that the reason you think that you are not worthy has nothing to do with what you have just said, right?" She asked.

Rey stayed silent a moment, giving all the confirmation Leia needed.

"It has to do with my son," quietly continued the General.

The girl cringed ever so slightly. She had yet to fully realize that Kylo Ren had once upon a time been a boy like all the others and that he was linked in any way to the peaceful woman sitting across the table. "I…"

"I know him, I am his mother after all. It always used to annoy him to no end that I could simply see though him." She slightly smiled at the memory of a little Ben stomping around the house in anger after she would once again see straight though his childish lie. "You have become someone special to him, Rey."

"I have?" A chill went down her spin. If it was of fear or excitement, she didn't want to know.

"Yes. He will be coming back for you. You have beaten him once, and he will not get you out of his head until he has beaten you back and proven to you that he is stronger. In the earlier days, I used to regard this resolution of his with pride… but he is know working with the First Order. One mistakes from you side could be fatal."

"What?" Rey hadn't looked at it this way. For her, whatever was between her and Kylo Ren was something personal. Thinking that the whole First Order thought it had something to say about it wasn't a really pleasant perspective.

"That is why," continued the General, ignoring the interruption, "you must become Luke's apprentice. Not because you want or because you must, but because you have to. You have chosen this pass the second you decided to defy my son."

"But I had no choice but to fight!" She cried.

"There is always a choice. You could have simply given him what he wanted, like all the others, but instead…" The woman trailed off a gave her a smile. "But it's not like you don't even stand a chance."

Rey became silent, thinking for a moment. There still was a slight problem. "But… I can't fight him. I will never be able to kill him. I had the chance once, I was even angry at him for–" She suddenly stopped talking, afraid that she had said to much and made a mistake.

"For killing Han?" Quietly finished Leia. "I am glad you didn't. I would have lost a husband and a son all at once."

"But he's Kylo Ren. He's… He's a murderer."

Leia crossed her hand on the table and sighted. "I am a princess of a planet that doesn't exist anymore, a General and a hero, but most of all, I am a mother, Rey. The mother of a little boy full of energy and good intention that grey into a powerful and talented young man. I _know_ that this man is still alive, Rey. I know that there is still Light in him, just like you know there is too."

"Me?"

"Yes. That is why you can't hate him."

"But he must be hating _me_ by now. It isn't fair. He can kill me without a problem and I can't. Not cold-blooded at least."

"But he _doesn't_ hate you. He can't. He can be angry at you, angry to the point where he tells you that he hates you and even believes it, but I don't think that he hates you. And he won't be able to hate you even when you start you training to become a Jedi."

"Why?" Interrupted Rey. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Because if you take the path to the Light, you will have to overcome hate and go towards understanding instead. 'There is no ignorance, only knowledge'," she quoted from the Jedi code. "Nobody can hate when they feel understood. From what I can see, Rey, you understand him already better then many. And don't you think he feels that? Everybody wants to be understood."

That silenced the girl. Her hand came up to rest on the picture that was still hidden in her bra, against her heart. She still didn't understand that moment thought. She didn't know if she wanted to know the reason behind the care that was clear in his arms and the fact that he was so relaxed he had allowed himself to sleep with her on his lap.

"Imagine. Imagine if you could bring him back. Would you do it?" Asked the older woman.

"Bring him back?" She paused for a moment. The thought had not even occurred to her actually. "I think I would." That would make Leia happy to see her son again. She had worked so hard for the Resistance and had only been rewarded by the loss of her husband. She deserved to have at least her son back. "But how would I do that? He is well into the Dark Side. He won't come back."

"There is still Light in him, Rey, I know it. When he will see it in you, he will have to consider his choice one more time. Simply by existing, you pull him into the Light."

Rey's face grew darker. "But… there is a problem. I am not sure that I feel the call of the Light strongly enough. If we can… 'pull' each other, does that mean that I can be pulled too? What if I am the one who fall? I don't want to become a murderer."

Leia gave her a serene smile. "Do not trouble yourself with the idea of not being attracted enough. You don't desire what you already have, right?"

The simplicity of the idea was such that it left Rey with her mouth wide open. She wasn't feeling the call of the Light because she was standing in the Light already. "But how did… how do you know all this about the Force?"

"Well, if my destiny would have been but an inch different, I would have been the Jedi master and Luke would have been the prince in my place," answered the General with an amused smile.

"What?" Now the girl was confused.

"Didn't you know? Luke is my twin brother, but we got separated at birth and placed in different families to protect us from our father."

Rey jumped on her feet in astonishment, her eyes as wide as saucers. "What? Luke Skywalker is you _brother_?"

"You never made the link between us?" Now Leia was really looking like she was having fun.

The former scavenger's expression morphed as she thought of that new fact. She didn't remember master Skywalker all too well, but if he was as wise, as efficient and as role-model-like then Leia Solo… For the first time in many years, sparkles appeared in her eyes, the same that used to shine when she would spot Ben Solo trying to hide (and failing) from her.

That made the older woman laugh. "Changed your mind about going?"

"Oh yes!" She cried. She was really looking forward to meet her new master.

ooo

She had never seen so much water in her life.

The widest span of water she had seen and that she could remember, back on Jakku, had been the trough where caravans poured water for their beasts. Now, when she looked down at the ocean, she was literally mind-blown. So much, in fact, that it was Chewbacca that managed the landing.

The first thing she wanted to do was to investigate the edge of the water, touch it, taste it, feel it, but she was retained by the collar by the Wookie. He growled something and BB-8 translated that it was best that she searched for Master Skywalker first and then went to check out the sea later.

Oh yes. She was definitely checking the sea later. It looked like the lake that had been in front of Maz Katana's castle, but in much wider and _alive_ , somehow. She wondered if it was drinkable. She wondered if she could – what was that verb again? Oh, yeah – _swim_ in it. Wouldn't that be exciting? Even more exciting then a full poster of _Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes_ all across the wall of her bedroom!

ooo

Rocks. Grass. Rocks. Grass. Rocks. Grass. Temple. Rocks. Grass. Rocks. Grass. Ruins. Grass. Oooh, how exciting! A tree! Just because she was that bored, she ran to hug it a moment.

That island was way bigger then it looked. Unless she was turning in circles, which was, on a practical sense, the same. For her eyes, that had been used to distinguish the smallest variation of dunes, every meadow looked exactly the same as the other. Green was a lovely color, her favorite, but it wasn't helping her at all. Why couldn't Luke Skywalker leave a trail? At least in the desert footsteps stayed imprinted on the sand a while and it was easier to find someone.

She eventually had the idea to climb up all the way to the top of the island to see if she could find him from there and she finally spotted a hooded figure in the distance. Her heart started to beat faster. It was a fateful meeting, or rather, a legendary reunion of a Master and an Apprentice. As she approached, it was the entire Galaxy's fate that was decided. She, the girl who walked in Light (the words of Leia had greatly stroked her ego), was about to meet her final Master, the one that would raise her to her true power.

She took her few last steps. In her head, some intense music was playing to make the moment all the most dramatic. She felt the breeze of adventure blowing on the back of her neck, pushing her forward until she was close to him. He turned around, stilling her with his blue gaze, and she stared back with firm resolution.

No words were spoken. She decided not to break the silence and took out the lightsaber, that she presented to the man. A confident smile bloomed on her lips. She had triumphed. She had found him. All the hardships of her journey flashed in front of her eyes, all leading to this very moment like a majestic symphony placing its final notes.

She breathed in deeply, getting ready to claim her name…

He nudged the air next to him. "Hey, Spooky, you think she got lost on the way?"

ooo

 **As you can see, it was one of these more serious chapters. Well, there is got to be a spine for all the craziness to hold on, right?**

 **Do you remember theses sort of jazz like tunes that you hear around in Star Wars? There have a name: it's called jizz. Just a fun fact that I wanted to share with you, since I will probably mention it in later chapters. Like this, you already know it's not a typo mistake.**

 **Talking about typo mistakes, I am really sorry if you stumble upon any while you are reading. I do proofread – but, due to my impatient/enthusiastic nature, I sometimes skips some mistakes, something that is made all to easy due to the fact that English isn't the language that I studied at school – it's French. That's why my sentences sometimes have a strange order to them, or why I use a word in a place where it sounds strange or misplaced. And that doesn't even count my natural typo mistakes.**

 **I will re-read the whole thing once in a close future and will make it all better, pinky promise. I am anyway thinking that some parts of the story can be improved, so better do this all at once and be done with it.**

 **As I was finishing this chapter I was suddenly called elsewhere and when I came back my computer had turned off (I really don't know why, it's not like anyone else was using it in the meantime). Anyway, since I hadn't saved my chapter, I had to start it all over again… and I made it even longer, so that's all for you benefit, right?**


	15. Octupus Meditation

Rey blinked once, puzzled. Okay. That had been weird. Maybe she hadn't heard it right. That was most probably the case. The wind was blowing gently but steadily up here, and had changed the words of the Jedi Master into others. Surely he hadn't just…

"I agree," continued the man, nodding gravely. "For the first female we see in seven years, she could have bigger boobs."

Baffled, she looked down at her shirt. She had never wondered about it, but were her breast considered small?

No! She was a hero and she was coming at the end of her quest. After traveling though the whole Galaxy and staring in the eyes of the baddest puppy there was, after surviving countless uncertain years in the deserted lands of Jakku she was beyond caring for the shape of her body and had learned to focus on what really counted: her inner beauty.

Although it was true that they could be bigger, now that she was looking at them carefully.

She looked up, and opened her mouth to present herself to the old sage in front of her. She was ready to ignore that little moment of weirdness. She was in the presence of a great Master, she kept repeating to herself. She had to do things right.

"Hello, Master Skywalker. I…" she liked her lips, breathed in deeply and crushed her anxiety. "My name is Rey. Maybe you recognize me?"

"Rey? Of course I do." He scoffed. "I'm not senile." He paused, thought for a second, before correcting that last sentence. "Not yet. I remember you like if it had been yesterday."

The girl allowed a little bit of worry to creep in while the man seemed to listen to the silence once more.

"Oh, Spooky told me that I have indeed seen you yesterday. That is strange. I don't remember getting anybody's visit yesterday…" He stroke his beard, deep in thoughts.

"Well, I am Rey, and I have come from the confines of the Galaxy too–"

"– to take a dip in the sea. Yes, now I remember. I have _foreseen_ you yesterday. Silly old me, right, Spooky? Anyway, do you want me to repair your flashlight?"

"My… my flashlight?" She looked at the lightsaber she still held in her hand with astonishment. He, a great Jedi Master, was calling their signature weapon a flashlight? She was baffled. Had she really found the right Luke? "But it's not a flashlight, it's a–"

"I am the last Jedi. I shall call this thing however I like it most, and everyone will have to agree with me because it's not their damn business. For the last seven years, this thing," he pulled his own blade out of his belt and ignited it, "has only been good as a flashlight. It can't even cut fish properly, can you even imagine? I have torn each damn meal for the last seven years with my _bare hands_ , and I would have gone coo-coo if it hadn't been for Spooky here." With a hiss, the lightsaber was once more turned off and safely tucked in his belt.

"Oh." She willed herself to calm down. It was all right. He was only under the chock of seeing an other human face for the first time in a long while. There was no reason to panic. She only needed to change subject. "Hum, right. Err, Master Skywalker, is Spooky an ancient Jedi Master that appears to you as a Force-ghost?" She had heard that bit from a wandering storyteller back in the dunes and since Han had told her that _everything_ was true she considered that part as granted.

"Spooky? A Force-ghost? No, not at all. They only appear when they have important things to tell you about your family, which, in my case, was really crucial that I knew. No, Spooky is in my head. He's my friend." The older man gave her a warm smile, as if he was explaining an elementary truth to a small child.

She gulped. "Your friend. In your head."

The Jedi frowned, suddenly suspecting something that made him angry. "Yes. You got a problem that he doesn't exist?"

"No, not at all!" She quickly corrected herself, before regretting that she had lied. There was no denying it. Seven years alone on a deserted island had taken its toll on the older man, and the price was a heavy one. Bitter thoughts came to the surface of her mind. Had all this fuss been made for a senile old man stuck on an island?

"I head that," suddenly said the Master. "And I will pretend that I wasn't reading in your mind without your permission if you replace the senile with sexy. It almost sounds the same."

She blinked twice, before blushing for having been caught thinking badly of him. Seriously, what the hell? And she was supposed to become his apprentice? That surely was the worse Master ever to be.

"You think you have seen it all, little girl?" He laughed bitterly. "I had Yoda, so watch out. I am only the second worse Master ever. No, actually," he gave it a thought, "Kenobi was pretty bad too. He only told me that the girl I really wanted to bang was my sister after his death, so after hearing me refer to her multiple times as beautiful and having all the time in the world to think about revealing it too me." Luke laughed softly. "That old geezer."

She tightened her fist and tried to give him her most filled-with-resole look. He had mentioned his old Masters, this was the moment. "That is why I am here!"

"To bang my sister?" Interrupted the man, amazed. "Don't you mind the age gape?"

"No!" She was mortified at the idea. She would never be able to get rid of the image that had formed in her brain now. "I am here to become your apprentice." She kneeled in front of him and bowed her head. She didn't know why she did it. It just felt right.

Luke turned on his lightsaber. "By the lights in the sky when there is the night," he started. She briefly felt the heat of the blade next to her left cheek, "And the nights where they are no lights in the– Oh, right Spooky, they are called stars. Thank you. Well, rise my child, as a knight of the Orion Constellation."

She jumped on her feet. "That's it? I am your apprentice?" She asked, filled with hope. It had been remarkably easy. She had expected a trial or some test to see if she was worthy…

"No. I just said it. You're a knight of the Orion Constellation." He replaced his lightsaber at his waist.

"And what is that?"

"An order I have just created."

"For what?"

"Because I felt so. And because Spooky told me to, which is the same from you point of view. Let me remind you their first rule: you do not question the reasons that had lead to the creation of the knights of the Orion Constellation. All will come in due time to you."

"Okay, I won't question anything." She was starting to get a little annoyed at the older man's antics. "How about becoming your apprentice? Would you agree to take me? I have a few skills." She lit up her own lightsaber and presented it to the man.

His eyes grew to the size of saucer plates. "That specific hue of blue…" He mumbled, amazed. "I know this flashlight. It has fallen in the depth of Cloud City when I was fighting the duel that was to change my life… the one that took my hand away. How did you get it?"

"It came to me. Called me."

"How strange." He nodded gravely. In his eyes appeared a moment of clarity. "This blade carry the memories of many fights and hardships. You have felt it, right?"

Rey thought of the images that had appeared in front of her when she had first touched the weapon, then at the strange facility she had when wielding the blade after having called the Force during her battle with Kylo. "Yes, I have seen a few of the memories in this lightsaber."

"I know, that's what I just told you. May I hold it?" He presented a robotic hand palm up. She delicately laid the weapon in it and he swung it around a couple of times with ease. At least his skill had not decreased, she noted, a good thing if he was to teach anything to her.

He turned it off and hung it as his waist. "This blade is not meant for you. We will have to get you a new one." He paused, thought for a moment, before adding: "Young padawan."

She frowned. "Young what?" had he just insulted her by calling her some strange random name?

"Young padawan." He repeated, before waiting a little bit. When she still didn't react, he looked a little annoyed. "Hello? It's your cue to start jumping around and be super happy like when you were five."

She only looked at him in pure disbelief. She didn't remember doing that when she was five, and even if the name struck a bell she couldn't put a finger on its meaning.

He sighted. "It means apprentice. Much to learn you have."

She paused a moment, taking the information in slowly, before letting a smile creep on her face. Sparkles lit up her eyes. "Does that mean that I will become a Jedi?"

"Of course… Shut up Spooky, of course she will become a Jedi, what else?"

She couldn't contain herself anymore. She leaped up, punching air. "YES!" She cried. That felt good, so she repeated the motion a few more times before she was finally calm enough to stand normally again. "Doest that mean that you are coming back with us?" She asked, full of hope. The General would be pleased to see her brother again. She needed such support after her loss.

"Of course. I haven't taken a hot shower in years. Bathes, yes, but showers…" He sighted. "And real cooked food. That would be so amazing. No fish. And there is so much to do, young padawan. So much to do."

She smiled and descended the hill after him. If she would have been completely sincere with herself, she would have admitted that she thought it was strange that the whole deal was that easy, but beggars don't spit on a free meal, don't they?

Luke simply walked round a bend and the _Millennium Falcon_ came into full view. Rey felt her cheeks heat up in shame. She had wasted the full afternoon wandering around the island when the Master had been right around the corner the whole time. No wonder she had gotten lost. That actually took talent to get lost like that.

Chewbacca saluted the older man with a joyful howl. He had taken out a little foldable table out and was playing what now seemed to be a game of cards with BB-8. A special holder, clearly made out of bits and stuff, had been plugged in the robot to help him hold up his hand.

Forgetting that he had been in the middle of a game of cards, the Wookie threw his in the air and ran to Luke, tackling him in a bear hug much like he had done when they had found Rey back on Starkiller. The Master smiled and patted the giant's back. "It's good to see you again Chewie. Han is not playing with you?"

Silence fell like a heavy blanket on the little reunion. The Wookie freed his friend and backed up slowly. Without saying a thing, he looked into the man's eyes, and the latter understood.

"How did it happen?" He asked softly.

A small whine was the only reply.

Luke grew pale and took a step back. Silence stretched on until the Jedi turned around and started walking back up the hill. "I'm not getting in that shit again," he mumbled. "No way I'm going to face that shit again, right Spooky? I've sworn myself that I would never get myself in such a mess. I've sworn that…"

"Wait!" Cried Rey. She got ignored. "Wait, you can't stay here!" She started to run after him, but a large paw caught her by the collar, nearly strangling her. "Chewie!" She protested in a strangled voice. "Chewie, let me go! I can't let him here, he is supposed to come back with us!"

Chewbacca yanked her backwards and she roughly fell on her rear end. He then kneeled in front of her and slowly shook his head, making her understand that it wasn't a good idea to go and chase after the Master.

She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. "Why so?"

The Wookie explained himself in small growls and a helpful BB-8 conveyed the whole thing in beed and bloops. Apparently, it was best to leave Master Luke alone to deal with his own demons, and that he would eventually come back once he would be over the loss of his friend.

"But that could take days!" She protested.

Well, A good thing they had taken enough food to last that long, had they?

Rey's lip poked out for ten seconds before she decided that she had sufficiently expressed her disagreement and mumbled and "all right". She got up and looked up the hill, her arms still crossed over her chest. "I just hope that he doesn't take too long to mourn or anything."

ooo

 _\- Ben! Benbenbenben!" Interrupted the most annoying little voice ever._

 _The one that was being called growled and opened his eyes. For once that he felt patient enough to meditate, she had to come and spoil his focus. He was going to give that brat a piece of his…_

 _Said brat tackled him full force and he almost fell backwards if it wouldn't have been for his quick reflexes. Not minding the fact that she clearly had destabilized him and had almost thrown him to the ground, Rey hugged him like her life depended on it, making Ben groan in discomfort. For such a small bouncy thing, she had some vicious grip._

" _What now, Rey…" He sighted, prying to pry off her little arms from around him. Or at least trying to._

" _They want to hit me!" She cried._

 _He raised his eyes. It was true. At the door stood two older students, who didn't seem all too keen on hurting her now that she had ran into the protection of the most touchy student of the Jedi Academy. Ben managed to unglue the little girl from him and got up. It was all the two novice thugs needed to start running away. The black haired boy watched them flee, before reporting his dark gaze on the little girl who was once more giving him a look of absolute adoration._

" _Ben is the best!" She cried, raising her tiny fists in the air and performing a little dance. "Ben-Best-Ben-Best…"_

" _Of course I am. Now leave me alone," he said as he sat again._

"… _Ben-Best-Ben-Best-Ben-Best…"_

 _That girl had an annoying habit to never listen to what he said. He sighted and tried to focus despite the annoying sound background, but a question kept coming back to his mind and with a sight he decided to be done with it._

" _Rey," he called._

"… _And he flies high up in the air, without wings, lalala..." She was singing that annoying song again. From what he had understood, it was about him as a super hero and was the most ridiculous piece of imagination the girl had come up with so far._

" _Rey!"_

" _What?" She replied, oblivious to the edge in his voice._

" _What did you do for the two of them to want to hit you?"_

" _I called them octopi. I don't know why they weren't so happy about it afterwards…"_

 _Ben rolled his eyes. "Why did you insult them in the first place?"_

" _But it was a compliment!" She cried. "Octopi go like this." She wiggled an arm in a wave-ish manner, producing a very convincing 'blblblblbl' to accompany the motion. Ben was pretty sure he had never heard of an octopus doing such a thing, but he wasn't about to argue with the hyper imaginative girl._

 _He was settling down once more to meditate when his actions caught the interest of the girl._

" _What are you doing, Ben?"_

" _I_ was _meditating until you came along."_

" _Oh, okay. Hey, I'll meditate with you!"_

 _The boy opened his eyes and gave her a stern look. "Oh really. You can actually sit down long enough to meditate?"_

" _Actually, I am doing a special meditation. It's called the octopus meditation. Look Ben!" She laid on the ground and started snaking her limbs around. "Octopuses meditate like this. I saw it on a report about the bottom of the ocean."_

" _I see." So that was were her recent cephalopod obsession was coming from. At least she wasn't skipping, or singing, or dancing, or yelling, or jumping, or stomping, or blabbering, or running, or inventing, or experimenting. No, she was only laying down on the ground and making weird moves._

 _He closed his eyes and focused on his inner peace. After a while thought, he couldn't help but notice that she had stopped making noise. One look at her made him notice that she was with her arms and legs widely spread and, for once, not moving. The event was so exceptional that he couldn't help his question._

" _What are you doing?"_

" _I'm doing the starfish meditation now," she whispered._

 _Ben shrugged._

 _About ten minutes later, when he decided that he had enough of sitting and doing nothing, he discovered that Rey had fallen asleep._

Kylo woke up once more in a place he didn't recognize right away. The walls were pristine white and the place smelt of disinfectant. Loads and loads of disinfectant.

A hospital. Great. At least there weren't two Huxs.

He tried to remember what he had done this time to get here, but there was a blank. Well, no big deal, it would come back to him later. Instead, he started guessing. Had he ran out of sugar tablets and had fainted in the middle of an intensive training program? No, he clearly remembered that he had been on Starkiller and far from Supreme Leader Snoke. So it wasn't that.

Maybe he threw a fit and he broke something that had smashed down on him. It had almost happened to him once: upon discovering that the Jedi temple in which he had hoped to discover Luke Skywalker was empty, he had vented his rage on a pillar that had practically fell on him. He had been lucky that his ability to summon the Force had been faster and had held the large block of marble up so that he could step aside.

Or maybe some idiot had crashed in him with a prototype TIE fighter. Sometimes, Kylo wondered if some of the Stormtrooper were in fact some Rebel out to sabotage the army from the inside they were so clumsy. But if a collision with a fighting shuttle was in order, he doubted that he would be still alive. Or at the least that he wouldn't be feeling his feet.

He _did_ feel his feet, did he?

He tried to raise up to see if he still had some. The move woke a tearing pain in his abdomen and he quickly flopped back, but not without noting that all his extremities were still impossibly far away from his head, as usual, and all there. That was a relief.

Curious, he probed the bandage on his belly. It was voluminous. And painful. What the hell had happened to him? Have he gotten attacked by some strange monster during an expedition on some lost planet? If it hadn't been that, he didn't know what else. He was starting to run out of ideas.

He looked around, in his quest for answers, and his eyes bumped on a piece of paper who had been left on his nightstand, next to a bouquet of dead flowers in a black vase. Probably Hux's or even Snoke's touch, since offering a Sith living happy flowers would be viewed as improper. Not that he really cared.

He reached out slowly, wincing when the pain gave his insides a slow lick, and read what was on it. It was deceptively brief.

 _We found these words written in your left hand and took note of them, just in case it was important,_

 _Your happy medical crew ~_

Oh, now at least he knew where he was. He was at the Stromtrooper's Happy Hospital of Shuggan. Great. Now, he was trapped for who knew how long with a bunch of psychotic hippies. Only them could sign a message to the head of the Kights of Ren with such a cheesy nickname.

He sighted and read on.

 _Green_

 _Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes (lol good music taste ;)))))_

 _AT-AT home sweet home_

 _Shiny, dark diamond?_

He was pretty sure that he would have never written 'lol' in his hand, so his guess was that it had been a comment from one of the medical idiots that were attending to his wounds. But the rest would have fit perfectly. Kylo Ren had big hands. All these bits of sentences were referring to one thing, but what?

" _You're just a monster in a mask," she replied. Brown eyes shone with strong determination as she looked right at him, as if she could see though._

" _You know that I can take whatever I want," he said as he closed in on her._

 _She straightened and lit her lightsaber. Blue light danced on her fine features as she adopted a fighting stance she had learned ages ago._

" _You need a teacher!" He cried. Her eyes darted up to him, meeting his. "I can show you the ways of the Force!"_

 _Their mind touched. He could sense the darkness in her, the darkness that the rage and the hate was only fueling._ Yes _, he whispered to her._ Let them take control… Let them link you to me. _For a second, she listened. She reached out, and embraced her emotions. And for a second, she shone like a dark jewel…_

 _He couldn't get his eyes off her, not because she was threatening him, but because he had never seen such a beautiful goddess of vengeance._

 _An angel looming over a fallen demon._

"Oh shit," he groaned, letting himself fall back on the pillows of his bed. He had forgotten that he had royally messed up. Worse then that time where he had (almost) accidentally killed Snoke's one-eyed cat. Worse then the time where he had stumbled into the girl's Stormtrooper changing room (almost) by accident. Worse then the time where he had eaten all the Munchy Captain Cookies, back when he had been only five, and his mother had found out. Worse then when he had stolen his father's porn magazine collection. (Well, actually, that last one hadn't been that bad. Han had laughed and had made him promise to say nothing of it to Leia.)

Curse Rey and her sparkly brown eyes. Curse Rey and her damn shiny aura. Laying in his hospital bed Kylo cursed the girl a thousand times over. May she burn in Hell with Han Solo.

That didn't change the fact that his body had ignite with desire from head to toe just by thinking of her. He was barely spared the humiliation of a hard-on for his worse enemy.

He blamed it on his inner puppy.

ooo

Meanwhile, she was investigating the ocean.

She had kicked off her sandals on the sand of a small beach before getting closer to the ever moving water. Her big toe had been her ambassador, probing the liquid with suspicion. It was really, really freezing cold, especially for her scotching hot planet resident standards. But she still wanted to take a swim. She had been dying for it her whole life. So much water she could bathe in it… That was beyond her wildest dreams.

She only realized that she had been pushed when she came sputtering and gasping for air out from under the surface. Panicked, she started to splash around and accidentally shove some water in her face, which only made her more panicked. Slat attacked her eyes and crawled down her throat but she was missing air.

Luckily for her, her hand found the sandy bottom and she rose high enough to get some oxygen and sense back in her. Once she had calmed down, she realized that she had almost drowned herself in twenty centimeters of water.

She looked at the shape that was towering over her and realized, amazed, that it had been master Luke Skywalker himself that had pushed her.

"I have foreseen that you will be taking a dip in the sea before we leave," he simply explained, as serious as if he was telling her the meaning of life.

She only stared at him with her mouth wide open.

"Aren't you going to get out the water? Its cold," he continued, as if she didn't know well enough herself.

She scrambled to her feet and went to fetch her shoes as he walked towards the ship. She still couldn't believe what had just happened. "You pushed me!" She managed to cry.

"It has been foreseen. All my predictions come true, always. Right Spooky? Now giddy up, young padawan, there is still much to do before you start to kick some ass. You're leaving, because I have decided to come with you."

That was the moment where she knew that she was in for some tough training in the hands of her new Master.

ooo

 **Let me confess two things. I love little Ben and Rey way too much. And I'm not sorry about what I did to Luke Skywalker. I shall atone for my sins by eating some wasabi coated peanuts, spoil my appetite and get really fat.**

 **Initially, Luke was meant to be a pervert on top of a madman, but… I didn't have the heart to do so, so I let him be. He is already pretty perverted as it is, but there will be no 'hum, your shirt is see-though' type of comments. That, I will be keeping for an other character, and if you can guess who you can start snickering with me.**

 **Oh, and Lili, yes, you, the guest reviewer who has been leaving many Portuguese (or Spanish) of comments on my story: I am sorry, but I have no idea of knowing what in the world you are talking about, nor have the capacities to contact you if you don't even have an account on here or if you are not using it to leave a review. I am writing in English, so wouldn't the logical way to contact me would be to write in English?**


	16. A Dead Rat

**Contains singing.**

"What is worse than a moody Kylo Ren?" Asked a member of the medical staff to his colleges as they were taking a break. The young doctor smiled eagerly at everyone, obviously proud of his find and begging someone to reply to him so that he could spit it out.

"What is it?" Answered a bored nurse.

"A bed-bound moody Kylo Ren!" He snickered.

The room stayed silent. Many of the medical staff were nursing bruises. One even had a broken arm but had insisted in coming to work anyway to support the ones that were still there to go though these difficult moment. Nobody even smiled.

"Just drop it," said the nurse. "You're not funny."

He lowered his head. "Sorry…"

ooo

Kylo was sure he was going to have an idea. He just knew it. It was bugging the edge of his mind, teasing him, daring him to come closer and catch it. Of course he wasn't going to. He was a mighty Sith apprentice. He din't go and fetch things like some servant, they came to him, may it be by using the Force or by someone bringing it directly to him when he was feeling really lazy or particularly evil.

He sighted and rested his head on the pillow. It was a good pillow. Very squishy and fluffy. They changed it every day, just because he was a VIP in this hospital. But his headrest wasn't the only perk he got from being important…

The door of his room opened.

"Hello, dear mister Ren!" Bellowed a woman with long dreadlocks, huge sunglasses, colorful clothing that was dragging a guitar behind her. "I'm Jia, and it is time for your personal concert!"

A table flung in the direction of the hippie, that, unluckily for the man, dodged it effortlessly. Pulling a stool closer to the side of his bed, she sat on it and seated the guitar on her lap.

"This song is about the beauty of the world, and how we should all live in peace because life is to short and having sex is better then war anyway," she stated, unfazed Kylo's death glare.

 _Oh, the beautiful flow  
Of the freaking morning with sunshine all over,  
And birds are chipping a lot,  
Which is a good thing because it is pretty and that's what good birds do,  
They poop too,  
And that's natural just like sex,  
Sex is good, and in fact they want to have sex so they sing._

"That doesn't even rhyme," noticed Kylo, "or fit in the notes of the song."

"It's so New Wave. Rhyming are for old shaky-handed gramps. You're young, it should appeal to you." The woman looked absolutely convinced of that last fact.

"Just because I'm young doesn't mean that I like all the random garbage you can throw at my face. I think that's called a prejudice, isn't it?"

"I don't do prejudice. I am an open-minded man. You are young, so you should like the same music as I do. Free yourself!" She stood up and looked up to the sky. A ray of sunshine fell on her face, illuminating her features and her sunglasses. "The world is greater then what the older generation wants us to believe! Come with me, brother, and we shall restore the equality in the galaxy."

Kylo Ren was sure that his bullshit container was going to overflow any moment now. "I thought you were a woman," he said, as he visualized how he could cut her up if he had his lightsaber. It was almost as relaxing as actually doing it if he focused enough on it. It was going to have to do until he had a real lightsaber again to vent his anger out.

"I am a gender-fluid homosexual polyamorous human being. I'm a woman on Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, and always attracted to the person os the gender I am at the moment. We're Sunday."

Kylo slowly moved a little further from her. He was a straight man (apart for that that one time where he had supervised the Stormtrooper's swimming lesson) and of course was homophobic because he was evil. He would have normally threw her as far away from him as he could using the Force… But that woman was actually starting to scare him a little. He flinched when she grabbed her guitar once more.

"Shall I resume my song?" She asked.

He didn't reply. She took that as a yes.

When she exited the room, Kylo Ren had a much better idea what damages psychological torture could inflict. And he had been inspired with one of his greatest, evilest ideas so far.

ooo

The sticks banged together and bounced off one another once more, sending a small shockwave down Rey's hands by the power of it. Seven years of depending on his own two arms had made Luke Skywalker a strong man (for his age). Once he had taken a shower and a shave he actually started to look and smell quite decent too.

Yes, all in all, Rey was quite proud of her Master.

"You see, Spooky? When she is in this stance her boobs look almost acceptable."

Apart from when he did that kind of stuff.

She lowered her weapon and glared at him. "I don't really care if you talk to your imaginary friend of not, but could you please refrain from making comments about my chest? Master." She asked, frustration apparent in her voice. The way she added the title at the end of each time she spoke to the Jedi was a trace of his insistence, on the first day of her apprenticeship, to teat him formerly. Rey didn't see how calling someone 'Master' was going to make her learn sword fight faster.

"But, my young padawan, there are important lessons to learn from this. First, that whatever you do, man are always perverts. Second, that you must ignore the judgements other may have on your body. And third, that you can use it as a distraction in combat. You might already have without realizing it."

She paused at that, her thoughts gone back to the only real Jedi fight she had been in in her life: the one with Kylo Ren in the snow as Starkiller base was collapsing around them. She had wondered many times how she, a nobody from a deserted planet like Jakku with barely a few notions about lightsabers, could have strike down a man with several years of experience and the reputation of a bloodthirsty monster (she hadn't known it at the time, but she had quickly been acquainted with the many rumors about her opponent as she had experienced daily life on the Rebel base). Maybe her Master had just given her the answer?

But distracting the mighty Kylo Ren with her boobs? Her? And her chest? That was either quite ridiculous and false or the sign that he hadn't had some lady action in quite some time. For some reason, at that point, she started imagining the dark haired man with a girlfriend. That seemed implausible at first glance but maybe he was like his father (Leia had told her quite a few tales about the late Han Solo's yourth, so that the girl could learn to know the man she had come to admire): a tough romantic bastard? If Kylo Ren really did have a girlfriend, Rey imagined that she would be tall (so that he wouldn't have to break his back in two each time they kissed) and dark-haired too, with loads of makeup and gorgeous, expensive and feminine dresses. She wouldn't be fake, no one likes a fake, but she would know how to take care of herself with precise and sensual touches. She would be rich too, because she would be the daughter of some First Order higher-ups that he noticed for the first time at some very fancy party because she was the most chic and slutty creature that roamed it alone, or even parading at the arm of some weaker man that didn't even compare to the Dark Knight's manly aura…

She got wracked on the head with a stick.

"Ouch!" She yelled, rubbing her head. "What was that for?"

"No daydreaming about how sexy is your nemesis during trainings!" Luke yelled back. "Do that when you're alone in your bed tonight!"

That remark set her face on fire. "I wasn't– Stop reading my mind already! That's rude!"

"Be happy that it's the only extent of it. _My_ Master once ate the whole and only package of cookies I had managed to bring… and they had been my favorite…" The legendary Jedi's eyes shone with tears. "It still hurts to this day… But it was necessary to strengthen my spirit in the face of any psychological torture the Empire would be throwing my way."

"Yeah..." Rey answered doubtfully. "Right. I can defend myself in front of mind reading. I fended off Kylo Ren himself once. Master."

"And gained a useless ego out of it. Mind reading is a hazardous thing at best, and training only offers a higher chance of succeeding but no guarantee for victory. You one once; next time is uncertain. Besides, mind reading is a question of observing one's thoughts when they thinks they are safe. That only means that you must always guard yourself. Like sitting straight. Which you still don't do, by the way."

She straightened. "It's still rude to peep in my mind! Master."

"Do not question me, young padawan. I follow the ways of the Force."

She mumbled something about having a pretty free way of interpreting the Force and being annoying, but didn't push her luck by speaking her thoughts louder then necessary. They were being read enough already.

She got smacked on the head once more.

"Ouch! What was that for _this_ time?" She protested the disgruntled apprentice, more out of habit than for having a reason since she already had an inkling of what could have caused that blow to come her way.

"Spooky told me that you must pay attention and watch your surroundings carefully. Something is about to come your way."

She sighted sadly. When she had first thought that becoming a Jedi might be a good idea, this hadn't been what she had in mind. Far from it. She had pictured herself taking on an epic quest as a young padawan, zipping through he Galaxy to help innocent people and fight off the bad guys; learning awesome moves as she went along with the flow and letting the Force show more and more of its vast complexity to her. Never had she pictured herself stuck in a forest neat the Rebel Base as an old crazy man was smacking her on the head.

Specially the smacking-on-the-head part.

But she did have the spirit to push forward her apprenticeship. She wasn't going to back out just because it wasn't what she had imagined. She was used to disappointments after all and this was only a small sacrifice if she were to become a true Jedi Master and finally bring down Kylo Ren, be it symbolically, or, sadly for Leia, literally. So she looked around and was careful, just as her Master wanted.

They had chosen a training spot not very far from the base but, judging by how empty the surroundings were, it could have been miles away from it. The trees were tall and covered with moss, as was the ground. There scarcely was anything different from those two forms of plants on the surface of this planet, nor were there any kind of flowers apart from tiny little ones that Leia had showed her when Rey had asked about the local flora. Both she and Master Luke stood in a large clearing devoid from any disturbing trunk. She could feel the rocks under the soft carpet of vegetation with her bare feet even if she couldn't see them.

This place was different from Maz Katana's planet. Where the second had been bursting wth life, greenery and always more new buds, this one was more pensive, almost blue and experienced changes that occurred either on a larger or on a tinnier scale then what humans could perceive.

Something moved in the distance, making her heart skip a beat.

A Stormtrooper.

With his sinister mask and his black, frowning eyes, the First Order's soldier looked like a ghost that had come to haunt this place of quietness. An unwelcome ghost. He seemed to struggle against the uneven ground, slipping on the wet moss from time to time. They were many scratches on his armor and appeared to have lost his gun.

In a heartbeat, she was charging him, a combat cry that made every single bird in the vicinity fly up quacking in fear and surprise bursting from between her lips. The soldier saw her coming of course, but instead of getting in a fight stance or fleeing ,he lifted his arms in a useless attempt to protect himself.

She hadn't even put thought in it. The second she had spotted the enemy, she had ran towards it screaming, lost in the heat of battle and the struggle for life. That said… Luke was only a few feet behind, howling as much as she was. They were two invincible warriors agains one piny unlucky ant isolated from its peers.

The poor Stormtrooper stood not even the slimmest chance. His helmet promptly got drummed all over by the Jedi and his padawan's training sticks.

"Mercy!" Cried a female voice from under the helmet. "Mercy! I come in peace! I carry an offering for your gods!"

Luke's stick paused in mid-air and Rey's shortly followed after one last hit for the ride. They both frowned down at the female Stormtrooper.

"We have gods?" Asked Rey, puzzled.

"The Gods accept your offering, oh new worshipper," replied Luke at the woman with an absolutely straight face.

"We _don't_ have gods. Master," commented Rey, now pretty sure of herself.

"Well, I still brought a dead rat. I heard from the First Order's propaganda that's all what you Jedis eat."

"We don't eat dead rats! Eww!" Cried the padawan, taking a step back in disgust.

"Meat is meat," interjected her master.

"Hey! Don't listen to him..." She kneeled next to the Stormtrooper and took one of her armored hands between hers. "Jedi honor the Force, the life that flows in and out of the Universe and every being living in it. We serve all living things and fight for the greater good and equality for all."

"But that's not what General Hux said," replied the Stormtrooper. She suddenly tilted her head on the side and gave out a wishful sight. "Isn't he the most beautiful man ever?"

Rey stayed silent, a little puzzled at this sudden change of attitude… Luke wasn't about to let himself get caught off balance like that.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded.

"I-I have a delivery… Miss Rey?" She asked Luke.

"That would be me," she said, surprised.

The First Order recruit opened a bag at her waist and handed out a small package, a plain metal box with a slide-out tray with a black ribbon tied around it. Rey took it gengerly and frowned with the effort not to shake it as she would do with a recently discovered ship part in case it was fragile. She glanced at the soldier but the latter was busy extracting a carefully wrapped paper package and handing it to Luke.

She had brought a dead rat after all.

Revulsed, Rey looked away with no more questions and carefully undid the black ribbon. No a one to waste, she tucked where she kept all precious things: in her bra (when Luke wasn't looking of course), next to the picture of her and Kylo she took with her everywhere since she didn't know where else to put it. She then popped the container open… and would have started to fangirl right here and there wouldn't it have been for her natural main protagonist dignity.

A complete collector collection of _Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes_ _'_ songs. Brand new. She pressed a tiny button and speakers appeared in a smooth motions, as the voice of the main singer, Frigin D'an himself, greeting her in his mother tongue. She could die a happy fangirl next time she faced Kylo Ren.

"Who sent me this? It's amazing!" She asked with a huge smile on her face while presenting the small token to the Stormtrooper's visor.

"He said it must stay a secret and that you will understand," answered the woman.

The firt thing her brain did was to go into full fairy tail mode. WHO could that mysterious admirer that knew her so well could be? She saw him right away: tall, blond, with beautiful blue eyes and a soft smile. Maybe someone from the base? There was that pilot that flew under Poe, the man she had met in Leia's office the day before she had left. He wasn't really tall (which was totally fine by her as she wasn't a towering figure herself) but he had the most beautiful face… Or that awkward but cute guy that sometimes joked with her when she would eat at the cafeteria and who's name started with F but that she never remembered.

Btu she had told neither of them her music taste, of that she was sure. The _Modal Nodes_ weren't a very well-known group so the chances of getting it just right was so small it would have been a miracle they actually did. It was almost as if her mysterious present-giver had read her mind...

Wait a second.

What in the world?

"What is your serial number?" Luke was asking the Stormtrooper.

"Well… You don't use serial numbers, right? Most people call me Lucky. I have no idea why. Bad things happen to me all the time," she whined.

"Well, Lucky, I wish you a pleasant journey back. You might want to walk this way," he said, pointing at a path through the trees.

"Really? Thanks! I've got a good feeling about this. Have a nice stick training thingy!" She shouted, waving to them as she left.

Rey waited until she was gone to turn to the Jedi. "She was nice enough. Why did you send her straight towards the rebel camp? Master."

"She'll be fine, Spooky said so. What did you get?" Luke asked, examining the object in her hands. "Never heard of them," he commented after reading the name of the group.

"Kylo Ren send it to me."

The cursed name seemed to slowly diffuse in the air like a poisonous gas as the Jedi fell silent. She lifted her eyes to his face. He seemed to understand what was the whole thing about – better then she did at least.

"Either he wants to sleep with you," her master started in a stern voice, "or he only wants you to know that he is alive, that he knows you and that he can reach you. I got my money on the first one. Spooky too."

She let out a dry, nervous laugh. "Kylo Ren does not want to… err… go to bed with me." The thought was ridiculous. "Why would he even want that?"

"I meant that he wants to have sex with you."

She blushed. Now that idea was somehow (she quickly guarded her thoughts for fear of an other intrusion) a little more interesting. However, she wasn't living Rey-gets-all the guys world. She only indulged int that particular daydream when she was in fairy tail mode. "I think he tried to send this as a threat. Master." She looked down at the present, frowning. Was it going to explode and kill her? She sure hoped not. It would be a wast of a bunch of good songs.

"Maybe he wants to make friends."

"That seems… Pretty unlikely."

"Well, you still have to show him that you are not afraid of him even after getting something like that." He folded his arms under his sleeves, deep in thought. "Something that will make it clear that you walk on the Light side of the Force and that you will hence be completely pacific unless provoked."

She thought for a while about it… Then a slow smile stretched her lips. "Kylo Ren isn't the only one that has been in people's heads. Master."

ooo

"Mister Ren?" Said the nurse as she carefully opened the door and took a look inside. "You have received a letter."

Kylo Ren's brow rose from his book. As an apprentice to Snoke and Warlord of the First Order, he wasn't the type to read but there was only so much a man could wait before getting really bored. The hospital had tried to slip all kind of books about kittens, dolphins and friendship in his reading pile but he had thrown a tautrum and eventually a trembling employee had come around to bring him a bunch of reads that weren't for children.

He beckoned the nurse to come closer. The woman was old enough to be his mother and yet here she was, practically scared shitless of him. He felt glad that he had managed to establish at least his supremacy on a part of the staff even it his mind was otherwise occupied at the moment.

Who could be sending _him_ a letter out of all people? Nobody wanted to send a letter to a brooding warlord, especially in paper format. If the First Order wanted something from him, they would have given him a call. Unless it was the reminder for the mission report (but since he had sent it already, he didn't understand how it could have not been received)? Or, it was a fan's letter? He had received a few of those in the past and, in Kylo Ren's eyes, they were jokes. None of the people that had sent him one knew him. They idealized him way too much. Not that he didn't have a large ego, but still, but he wasn't as godly as their words would depict him.

He reached out with his hand and the nurse laid it on his open palm, before backing down towards the door and leaving without ever letting him out of her sight. He ignored her, uninterested, as he tore open the top of the envelop. It contained a single piece of paper. He unfolded it… and his blood started to boil.

It was a drawing by an artist known for his caricatures of the First Order and that always signed with an anonymous F. It wasn't the signature that was offending, but the picture itself: a lone Darth Vader with a 'R.I.P.' sign that hung on his neck and one simple sentence underneath "At least you are still alive".

Oh, he was _so_ going to write her back a piece of his mind.

ooo

 **I'm baaack! All the messages are answered, all the exams are passed, all the teeth are brushed and I'm ready to make Magpie Syndrome more random, more messy and more insane then ever! Now, who's with me?**

 **I am cheering all alone if front of my computer!**

 **I must tell you thought. The rat that Lucky gave to luck was a plastic prank one. No rats have been hurt in the process of bringing this story to you.**

 **And will Lucky be fine, as Spooky says? I don't know, why don't you discover it for yourself? Starting next time, in the bonus, will be he story! I hope you'll like her.**

 **And at last, great news! Like, the most amazing news of all. For the great return... A beta joined the adventure! Everyone says hello to Sofyan! I am so glad to see you on this crazy boat with me, and I hope it will sail until a Galaxy far far away... and beyond!**


End file.
